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okay, this might be long. Ive been seeing my bf for 2 1/2 years as bf/gf. We use to date on and off for over 2 years before then. He has been my first bf, cuz even when we were just dating i only liked him and only him, we started dating like a month before i turned 16, he was 19 at that time. Well i didnt know he was seeing somebody while we were just dating, but he was, from what ive heard he loved her, but he had cheated on her and was mean to her or something and so when he found out she was seeing someone else while still with him he dumped her. Well anyways i think this was around the beginning of 2002. We started seeing eachother exclusively by summer of 2002. I know they have kept in touch, and remember in the beginning of our relationship he would get really drunk and start talking about her. Even now he will get in like a depressed mode and start listening to music about how the girl cheated on the guy and stuff like that. And while we're sleeping, mind u, we do live together now and i am 8 mo. pg by him, he'll start talking while he is asleep and while still half asleep start kissing me and saying he misses me and will start to hug me real tight. And ill wake him up and ask him if hes alright and what he had dreamt about, and he'll just stay quiet. I know he still loves her even though they been broken up since the beginning of 2002. So what do i do? I know he loves her and he will never love me like he loved her which hurts. And its not like she will be completely out of his life forever cuz shes his first daughters aunt. (he went out with her sister first, got her pg, and then went out with her). What sucks even more is when his daughter is over she'll start mentioning something her AUNT did. I love this guy sooo much, hes my first love, my first everything, and im sooo happy im having his baby, i feel he is unsure if he loves me and i have told him to just tell me straight up if he wants to be with me or not. He tells me he loves me but i think hes not so sure about that but just says it. I feel so insecure now cuz i feel like ill never measure up to his x, I dont know what to do????...
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Sorry for this being so long but i clicked the submit b___ton before i finished, anyways so now i dont know what to do, im having his baby and he is really happy about it, he is an extremely good father to his other daughter so i know he will be a good father to our daughter. Sometimes i just want to leave far away so i can forget him but i cant cuz now we are going to have a baby and i cant do that to my baby, its like we're forever bonded because of our baby so how am i suppose to move on if he's always gonna be there?
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Sad Girl...unfortunately there is no easy answer to this question...on the one hand he is not doing anything wrong to you...you cannot control your feelings for him as you say he cannot control his feelings for her...if you think he is being faithful...well that gives you a good man to begin with...over the years things will change...his feelings...your feelings..etc...at this point its up to you to decide if this is something that you can live with...seems you have been doing it for quite some time now...nobody can tell you what to do here...my heart goes out to you...hang in there...and stick by the decision that you make..good luck with this and your new baby...
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Hey Christine, thanx for answering, I know i cant control my feelings for him and neither can he control his feelings for her, i just thought that if i gave it time he would forget her, but i think this will never happen and im disappointed by this but what can i do. I wrote him a letter sayin we should just break up and that its better not to see eachother atleast not until the baby is born to make it easier on me, its just so hard to let go, but i guess it would be more harder to just stay and wait for something that is just never going to happen.
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They say that there are three kinds of LOVE that a person is capable of. The lust kind of love takes only month or so to get over and then you've moved on. Regular love (that most people end up settling with) that takes up to a year or two to get over and then, you move on. And then there is great love. Great love is something you never recover from once you lose it. It will always ache and you will never forget it. It something many people rarely feel or mistakenly THINK that they have. Although he was quite young, it is possible that he had this kind of love for this other girl and it was a love that was obviously not returned. That being said, it's also possible that the reason he still pouring over this is because it was unresolved and he still hurts badly from the betrayal. Either way, it isn't fair to you to be second choice or to be taking a back seat to his feelings when all of your own feelings are for him. You're right that you will always be tied to him because of your baby and it's good that he want's to be a part of this childs life and not just in a half-a__sed manner either. That being said, it doesn't mean that YOU need to have any sort of relationship with him outside of communicating throughout the years about your shared child. You deserve to have someone that will love you completely and has all of his romantic focus on you. It sounds like his past relationships are very complicated, especially given his love triangle with his lost love, her sister and their baby. This is something that will also take the focus off of you which isn't fair at all. When a man and a women form a family, they should be all about each other and their children and outside interests, family and friends take a backseat. This will never be the case for you and your boyfriend because after 2 1/2 years, you are still waiting and hoping for him to open his eyes and see how special you really are. You deserve to find someone who will give this to you and although I know (from experience!) that it's next to impossible to envision now, one day you will find someone worthy of your devotion and in the meantime, keep things peaceful with your baby's father so that you can have a nonestressful life for your little one.
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Hey Mellissa, wow thanks for ur advice, you are sooo right in everything u said and i appreciate ur advice. I know it will be hard but i do believe i deserve better, u know someone that will love me just as much as i love them. I know this will take time though but I know im young (20yrs.old) and eventually will find the love i deserve.
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Yea I agree w/Melissa, keep things peaceful with your baby's father so that you can have a nonestressful life for your little one.
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Hey guys im just bored today, have nothing to do but wait for my baby to be born. Well Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!
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 | Kat - January 2 |
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It's very very hard. And I wish you the best. I am somewhat going through the same thing only without the baby. I wish you good luck, and hope all is well!! I think Mellissa said it very well!
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Quick question before I reply - Is this Mari?
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U shouldnt measure up to anyone. U are U and u should be loved for what u r.U sound very young. Loving someone is a gift.Having a baby from a person u love is an even bigger gift.Tresure it and let everything sort it out. There is nothing u can do. Let him know that he is free to make his choice and he will love u and respect u for that. And who knows maybe once he will see that he has this choice he will choose u!!! and if not-then its not meant to be.U still have a lot, a lot more then most people.Good luck
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Hey Liza and every1 else, thanks for ur advice. I had my daughter middle of January. I swear it was the best day of my life, I could not believe a little person came out of me?? its soo crazy how 9 mo. before that she was just sperm and egg, u know? Well anyways, ur right, i shouldnt try to measure up to anyone, after my baby was born i told him if he wanted to leave me he could that I'd be okay with that, I also told him before he makes that decision to just think about what he really wants. I would never keep him from seeing his baby cuz its not good for my baby. And so far things are really good. He says he loves me and now when he says it i know he means it. Im not so insecure anymore. I now feel that if he does leave me then I will be okay, I am young and will get over it. But like I said everything is soo different now, hes there for our baby, which i never doubted he would do and we talked about a lot of things, and so we are staying together. He is in search of a home for me, our baby, and his other daughter, and him. I hope things remain the same as they have been so far.
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u r sorry dumb what forget him stupid b___h
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u r sorry dumb what forget him stupid b___h
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i would tell you that for you to just look over your sone and take care of your self and i hope everything goes just fine!!!!! love liliana
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i had s_x with a guy and we didnt use a condom but he didnt go inside me but right bye my vrigina am i?
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