Physically Obvious Congenital Defects Anyone
7 Replies
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my son carter was born without his right hand and his radius and ulna are fused at the elbow on the same arm. he is 5 and will be attending kindergarten this fall. he is SOO amazing and gets along just fine, you'd really never know he had the defect if it weren't so physically obvious. i'm not worried about him doing anything, i know he'll figure out a way to do whatever he wants to do, just like he always has. i am a little concered about starting school, though. (as far as how his peers will treat him. ) he did go to pre-school this last year and that went well, once the kids asked their questions(some still maintain he "broke" his hand, lol) they were fine and treated him no different. i'm not SO worried about K, but i just have a sinking feeling that the older he gets, the crueler the kids will get. it tears me up to know that we will be faced with dealing with a situation of him being made fun at some point. i'm basically just wondering if any other moms are going through or have gone through anything like this.
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Hey, Lindsay... I haven't faced that with any of mine... but I, too, worry about how it will go with Nathan as he gets older. He was dx'd with Asperger's (high-functioning autism) when he was in kindergarten this past year (remember when I was suspicious?... well, we got our diagnosis) anyway, already some kids noticed that he doesn't make eye contact and that he just doesn't act like the average kid his age. As far as I know he didn't get made fun of, but, of course, it's kindergarten and the teacher was right there all of the time. I tears me up, too, as Nathan did not really seem to even be able to make friends. I just hope so badly that he can find a best friend... even just ONE friend... to share things with. The thought of him getting really teased... oh man, I don't have my head up my b___t about that, though I bet it seems that way to some people who are close to me, as I try to be really positive about things... I know it's unlikely that it WON'T happen, but I try not to think about it as much as possible and I will just deal with it if/when it happens. It hurts my heart waayyyy too much to think about it often :-(
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I work with a lot of disabled, both metally and physically, children and adults. One thing I have noticed is that when children are raised together as they basically are in school is that they kinda form a bond. As the years go by they are in the same cla__ses and the "normal" children a lot of times become very protective of the children that would normally be thought of as different. So just deal with the first year the kids will ask questions, but after that things will get better. Also, he was born with it, so for him it's kinda normal to get made fun of as horrible as that sounds. So some things that might hurt you to hear, may be things that he can just shrug off. These kids can become very strong. Try not to worry too much.
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Kids are amazing. They adjust. My daughter was born with Bladder Exstrophy and has to catheterize. Kids question her all the time. To her, it's nothing. We spent months at Children's hospital, and I saw mothers lose their children to cancer and other illnesses, and just thanked God everyday that my daughter is healthy. :)
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I was worried just like you are when my son first started school. I was so afraid children would make fun of him. He was born with Arthrogryposis and is in a wheel chair. Every limb was affected for him. So it's very obvious that he has deformities. To my surprise no one made fun of him or was mean in anyway. He started with Pre-k and is now in first grade. Most of the children want to be his friend, fight over who will sit with him and want to help him out. I think you're son will do just fine!
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Your women are so brave i not his is every day life for you but i am sure it was hard to deal with at first, i ahve the udmost repect for you and i am glad you have such sonderful children The outside does not explain the inside :) xx
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So many errors there but i am sure you get the jist of it lol
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I, like blueskies, have a daughter with arthrogryposis. She is also in a wheelchair and is in kindergarten this year. She has really adjusted well considering she is the only child in her school in a wheelchair. They all want to push her and help out in any way and she just eats it up. Kids are obviously going to be curious but once their questions are answered they treat her like anyone else.
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