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You are right to be scared, because yes they will be smart and try not to make any evidence of their nasty side, and the rape case before will be used against you if you get them in the right situation where they want to use it. I was in a situation with my son where I was raped, and I wasn't smart by reporting it or going to the hospital for them to take the evidence. Well, I figured the guy would just go away. He did, then a month after my son was born her tried to use the court to put in in total and complete fear. I knew from the beginning that if I got overly emotional and tried to fight too hard then he would try a full b__wn custody case-like trying to get custody of my son. Over 6 months I studied, layed low and followed the rules-didn't even bring up the rape in court. I found out all of my rights and I pushed them in the right situations. I knew this man was a danger to my child because he was friggin insane and would just fly off the handle at any time. So the courts try to give him his visitation rights and push for the amount of time he wants, but I had learned that he really has limits of that and I pushed for it. Then when my son got older, he wanted overnight visits, I pushed the whole-"I'm b___stfeeding" issue and got it so he couldn't have overnights. Over time I just tried to have faith that he'd mess up somewhere or get frustrated that his little charade didn't seem to be working. Dude, I didn't even call the cops when he came to my house to get my son and slammed me up against the wall and started groping me. I knew there wasn't enough physical evidence and it could look bad on my part like I was making it up so he wouldn't be able to see his son. A year pa__sed and he started visiting less and less, then he tried one last big attempt. Accept he made a big mistake. He disappeared with my son and so wasn't at his home when it came time for me to pick up my son. I waited calmly, called my lawyer, then called the police. So it was doc_mented. He returned and I stayed calm, but he didn't. He didn't expect me to take the right actions, he just expected it to drive me insane. So he ended up moving out of town, and wanted overnight visits, then he was planning on moving out of state and wanted the right to have my son for days when he came back to visit (mainly to look good to his family). I of course said no, and the court agreed with me, because of the way he acted that day, and because he also had mentioned taking my son out of town in front of the police that day-and he had a restraining order on me that my son could not leave the county-therefore he broke his own restraining order by taking my son out of town. So he screwed himself on that-and he hasn't bothered us since. I'm telling you this story because sometimes you can really get people by sitting back, being patient and not showing any weakness or fear. Crazy folks like to have many victims, and those people are thriving maybe even getting off on how they are messing with you. Don't let them have it. Over the next few months, play by their rules but learn your rights in the meantime, learn as much as your can, talk to as many people as you can and you may find the loophole so that when these people misstep, you can get your child away from them, and maybe even get him back!!! But the most important thing is to get him away from them. If that man raped you, then he does not need to be raising a child. Hope I helped, and really start looking into support systems and counseling in your area-it helps so much more than just for your mental state. It's networking and you may find people who have been in your shoes and will beable to get valuable info from their mistakes and successes. God bless you

Dont even start on me because i said the word "duh". The solution to your situation is VERY obvious. Record the phone conversations. Duh. Thats like the best evidence ever. Getting it coming directly out of their mouths. U mentioned email n such so i know thats what ur plan was. So... if u had recorded them long ago ur problem would probably be over. I mean, thats undeniable evidence.Common sense lady. Anyway, i try not to get too caught up on the storied s in here b/c most are not true. Or at least extremely exaggerated. And before that statement gets u all riled up i said most are. Not necessarily urs....

Ok newbaby..yeah I wish it was as simple as that. Amanda, its pretty tricky, my mom isnt very involved in my life. shes a good woman but she lives in another state and is also not so well off. i tried to ask her for help, but she thinks well i got myself into all this, ill have to find my own way out, which i respect. my father died when i was very young. V9653 i totally get what you're saying. i get carried away sometimes out of desperation..i need to learn to control, then ill be able to do what you mean. i backed off for a while, just sorta emailed now and again to make sure how he was doing, and contacted them when they told me to, to arrange visits. but they just promised and promised, then never delivered. I know what you are saying, gonna try my d__n hard to make sure it works! thanks xxx

No problem, and really just remember that in the end, staying calm will do you more good. When you get riled up just start researching. Let all that nervous energy go into researching things, laws, rules, similar situations, support groups in your area. In a few months all of that will pay off at the exact moment it's needed. Also I'd look into the phone tap thing because isn't that illegal. I wouldn't do that without looking into the laws in your state or getting legal advice.

Shevvi, so you are saying the adopted father of your son raped you--persumably in his home.....Granted they did not consider it a rape, the fact that EVERYONE involved knows you slept together....isn't that a big red flag for adoption agency, his wife etc?? In any case you will get a public defender and often they are good. Let us know. Good luck!

Its not phone tapping. Phone tapping is where you put a tap on someones elses phone to recored all THEIR calls. Its perfectly legal to record your own phone calls.

im confused you say you were 35weeks on 5th dec 07 wouldnt you of given birth by now? i havnt read the whole post so please say if im wrong

oh my misatke i just read a bit more and realised that you gave him up for adoption, im sorry that you cant get more rights

thanks 4 everyones advice over this time, apart from the one who seemed to think this was all so simple. The couple that adopted my baby boy have moved out of state so i was told when i tried 2 go round there again. No details left, they even disconnected the email address i have 4 them. So ill never see my son. I know, i brought it on my myself, it doesnt make it hurt less though. But im just focusing on my children now, father is helping out and things seem ok, kids are happy and thats the main thing. I hope my little boy is happy. My advice? KEEP YOUR BABY how ever u feel..you'll find a way.........

Well it is ur baby so keep it and u dont know if that family will love the baby the way u would. Be strong and keep ur baby. There is plenty of places out there that will help u out with ur baby. And find the dad and put child support on his a__s.

Honey please read before you just go post to old stuff. She already gave the baby up, is having problems with the people, etc etc. It's an old thread.

i realize this is a really old post, but, i just gotta say........newbaby, i cant believe how insensitive and cold hearted you made yourself sound in your posts. you can really be like that in real life, can you?

Callie - stfu. No one cares.

Honey, this is water under the bridge, and is a very sensitive subject. Honestly, I had a hard time closing my mouth to the anger I felt in hearing this stuff. The thing is that all of us make stupid mistakes, but it kills me to see girls who run around with their panties in a bunch and run into one brick wall after another. This girl made a lot of stupid mistakes, and when you are a mom you want to explode when you hear things like this. I didn't read through what newbaby said, but newbaby is nice and just seems like the type of mom who is thankful for her babies and would put her life on the line to protect them, so it might have been something she got fired up about. At the same time, all the regulars get along really well, and sometimes people pop up and join in, and some get cussed the hell out. This IS a teen forum, but it's a teen mom forum so a lot of the teens have matured past a certain point. Finding an old post and calling someone out on some bad old blood is a certain teenish quality that doesn't fly well around here. So in saying all this, I'm just saying, don't get p__sed at the response from A&V's mommy-it's just that you seem to be picking at an old wound and calling someone out. This whole post sucked for everyone reading it! Of course we all want to help, but the situation was almost beyond mend-and now that it seems to be in the past and the poster hasn't been back, we've let it go. Also, you must realize, feelings about these things are made worse with pregnancy hormones, and A&V's mommy is VERY pregnant (sorry Tess) and I imagine it stirs emotions and fire, I know it does for me, and I'm not preggo! Anyway-let's let this post die!

well since i started the post i feel a bit offended that people would make out it shouldnt really be here cos it upsets other people and yeah i made mistakes but theres no need 2 make me feel less of a mom 4 it. i AM thankful 4 my babies & i WOULD put my life on the line 4 them. i thought adpotion was the right choice 4 my 3rd child, so he could be brought up with a lovin family who could give him everything he needs. whys that so bad? adoption is supposed 2 be a beautiful choice, & im not the type 2 go get an abortion 2 sort out problems. isnt my post as important as the other which is usually just a load of childish bickering? i dont want 2 argue with anyone but just cos the subject is not a happy 1 doesnt mean it should be forgotten cos it upset the 'regulars'. Plus now i like 2 see it as a warning 4 anyone thinking of this 2 think again very hard before they finally decide. i thought it would be good, i gave up my child on the basis that i was helping a couple who couldnt have children finally be blessed and that i was still going 2 have a degree of contact & he'd know who i was. how wrong was i xx

ps i had been back in november, just no one had anything to add lol