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sorry for the all the typos

*Gives V a hug* I swear everything you post pulls at my heart strings!

God I'm sorry! I'm coming out of the fog of a very deep depression. I was hoping I didn't still sound so depressing!!! LOL! JT-I don't mean to sound mean buuuuuttttt I wouldn't gear you into the direction of adoption information until you were further along. You are only a few weeks along and I don't think the gravity of it has hit you. The reason I say that is because of the tone when your talking about finding a babysitter and then go straight into adoption. Things are going to get WAYYYYY heavier and you'll see that when the baby is more than just an idea and a plus sign on a pee stick. I didn't really go to proms or homecoming or have the high school experience but I didn't even have a kid. Wait until there is a real live baby in you and you can feel it's connection to you and I promise that being skinny next year, prom, and all that stuff will sound very trivial. If it doesn't then I'd be more than happy to help you find adoption info. Also, here's something to consider. Say you do give the baby up for adoption, then get to go back to school next fall skinny and getting a dress for homecoming, etc etc. What if you never want to enjoy those things because you know you have given your baby up and can never get it back. I want you to know that I say wait because what if you looked into adoption now, and got hooked up with an adoption agency. Say you found a couple to go through the last couple of months of your pregnancy waiting to take home your child, but your bond with it has been growing and growing and growing but you have now connected yourself with these people and don't want to hurt them by changing your mind. That's why I say to wait. I'm all for adoption, but at the same time, I know how fast feelings can change. I became a completely different person after connecting with my baby. The first kick was the start. I was like a zombie walking around just doing what I thought everyone needed me to do. Pretending to be happy. I didn't want anyone I loved to know what I was really going through. That kick sent a shockwave through my soul. It was the biggest wake up call. It wasn't a conscious decision to change, it was like one day I woke up with my hand on my belly feeling my little one kick, and I didn't care about ANYTHING but that little fighter inside of me. He made me care more about myself. Before I had the feeling like I was in a mix of rosemary's baby and that movie Waitress. I hated him for tying me to a monster, for being genetically linked to a monster, and for making me have to carry him. Sounds horrible-I know, but I'm just showing you the complete turnaround! I grew up loving kids, and dying to be a mom. But in that situation, it was a nightmare, but it took a kick and I felt a love like no other. I decided then that if God asked me to decide between my life or his, I'd say take me! And I'm not one who is too fond of the idea of dying!

sorry guiccigal for using ur page to talk to V. v- your kind of right say that i shouldnt look into it too soon, like idk if ill be able to take care of it. my bf and his family and my family said that they would help but, to rely on them everyday all day thats a big jobs for them to do. i really want this baby now but like you said when all those first's happen it might be then when i really really want to keep the baby. my bf really wants to have it too but were just think of the negative of never getting to go out again and spend time alone.

That's understandable. The thing is, look at it from another angle. When I had to get on government a__sistance when i was pregnant, I felt low. I felt like I was stealing from hard working people. But a woman at the clinic I went to told me that it's getting a boost. Sometimes you need a hand up, not a hand out. Don't think of it as relying on your parents or you will be. I don't have anyone at all to help so thinking of your situation I wouldn't take advantage but it would've been nice when I was so sick that I couldn't even pick up my 9 month old to have what you have. A family who might help me out a bit. Or the one time in a year that I want to take 2 hours to go out to a movie, or when I'm behind in homework and need some extra time to catch up because staying up all night still isn't enough! As for the going out thing, yeah it is true, but the thing is that you guys took on that responsibility when you had unprotected s_x. I'm not against you putting up the child for adoption. But just remember you need to own up to the fact that you decided to have unprotected s_x or any s_x at all-knowing that s_x is for the purpose of making babies. Now whatever decision you make, it isn't just about you and your boyfriend, it's on that baby's head. That's why I don't sweat a lot of the selfish stuff. I didn't necessarily have that situation with my son, but I was s_xually active before conceiving him, and I waited to have s_x until I was prepared for whatever might happen. Including a baby, not getting alone time or time to go out. So when i got pregnant with my son, it was kind of easy to get over that part. Remember though that yes things change but if you and your boyfriend change the way you look at it then it will help you grow. Yes you won't get a whole lot of alone time, but you'll make time for each other if your heads are in the right place. Dates become family outings and you share your experiences of this baby with eachother. It really is beautiful and the one thing I miss the most after my breakup! Now back to the subject of things hanging over your kids head. You have to take responsibility for the fact that you had s_x and got pregnant. If you can't give the child the life and love it needs and it'd be better off with another family, then fine! But if it's going to be about going out and alone time, think about that when that kid spends one night up wondering why his mom put him up for adoption! Some kids do well with being adopted but many spend time wondering why, some have complexes about it. If you just can't then he is better off, but the teen stuff needs to go out the window because you made an adult decision. So now you have to decide like an adult.

Sorry didn't mean to send-anyway, an adult doesn't get to think about all the fun stuff first. Theirs bill to pay, a house to maintain, people you are responsible for, etc. So after you work your b___t off, if you aren'ttired, then yeah that stuff comes in. If when you get further along, you still just want your teen life more, then I agree the child would be better off. It's still an honest mature a__sessment, because you are being smart enough to put the child before you, and you are admitting that you aren't there yet. It's better than having a resentful teen mom who is leaving the kid with anyone just to get out-not saying you'd do that, but you get my drift. Hope you understand what I'm saying. I'm not dissing or judging you, just kind of giving you the layers of how to look at things.

JT i dont mind if you use my post to talk to these girls too, we know what we are talking about, usually, ( as long as we actually got sleep the night before) haha its not MY post its a post that ppl can just talk in. and V aww you are not sounding SOOO depressing just a little ;) you are right about the first kicks and stuff tho and parents are usually pretty good with daycare, at least mine are when i got pregnant they said anything i need they will do and my bf has a german family and traditionally in thier family once one of the kids get pregnant the oma does all the babysitting so the mother can work and the oma raises the kids, so my MIL always has austin, we even have nurserys at everyones house. adoption is not a bad option tho. I know girls who have the open adoptions and they love it and some have jsut regular adoptions and they love it as well. V not to be rude i kinna feel like you are trying to get her not to look into it. I would say look into it but DONT get an agency or anything just figure out what the rules are of different adoptions. because yes you want to keep your baby but its hard, its not all fun, and you do get less time alone i cant even go to the bathroom or shower without austin peeking in or knocking on the door and saying mommy done, my turn and its like WHOA kid i dont even have my pants off left!!! but the family outtings are nice too but she is only 14, which is very young i was older and i found it very hard

your right V i made a very big adult decision to have s_x and now i have to live up to the facts that me and my bf cant spend time alone but we can spend it as a family. i dont really want the baby in 5 years to be wondering why i did such a bad thing. me and my bf are thinking about it now, and he said that were gonna keep the baby.

i think that im gonna look into the rules and the information just in case.

you dont know your kid will think that, i have a friend and she was adopted becuase the mom was 16 and she says that she had a letter from her real mom and a box of pictures and things that were memories and her mom explained that she needed to finish school before she could have a baby and my friend TOTALLY understands and said that she is happy it happened becuase her life would be so different if it didnt.

thats nice that she got to get to kind of know her mom. I was talking it over with my bf his parents and mine and they said that their going to be there a 100% for us. i know i shouldnt rely on them but i made an adult decision and now i have to give up all the fun stuff like going out. but i was just looking up info on adoptions and they seem really good and i trust them with finding a good home for my baby.

yea well what ever desision you make im sure will be the right one for you, they are good at it and they even let you pick the parents, you get profiles and then interview and spend time with the parents so that way you feel comfortable with them as well. i think they both are good desisions, its about what is the right one for you to make.

thats the hard part. becuz i want it to have good parents and i dont think that im a good mom but then when it comes to giving it away at birth thats gonna kill me cuz you have it in you for so long and then you have to give it away.

well maybe i can help you out a little. what makes you think you wont be a good mom? when you sit there and think about it why do you think that you cant be a good mom? and yes giving away the baby is hard. My friend did it, but she picked the parents and the parents let her name the kid, and they email her pictures all the time with update letters and i think she gets 2 visits a year, unless they invite her or she wants to see him. and she said it was hard but she knew at the begining what would happen and when she met the parents she knew that they would raise her kid the way she wanted him to be raised but couldnt do by herself. Her son is celebrating his 2nd birthday this month and she gets to go and has become very close with the family. i mean everything is hard to do. Keeping austin was hard to do and even now i try and do my bills and i think omg what did i get myself into!!! giving away is hard even though i have never personally done it. and having an abortion was hard for me to, but i knew that had to be done and i dont regret it at all. no matter what you do things are gunna be hard. Didnt you say your mom was trying to have a baby but like me she is very fertile but has misscarrages? have you thought about adoption to a family member?

i just think that i'm young and that being a teen parent is harder then having a kid when your in your 18 and 19's. when i think about it i have a feeling that i can do it but then sometimes i feel like i can't do it. i'm sorry if i'm being really irritating. i think that is really cool that she can have a relationship with him and spend time with him. yeah my mom always has miscarrages. i told my mom that and she was like that would be really cool but it would be weird for her to know that her 14 year old daughter had the baby for her, i told her thats ok and she shes like it sounds like you dont want this baby anymore, and i just told her that when i think about it i dont think that im going to be a good parent and she tells me that i can have an abortion but it doesnt seem right. honestly what do you think i should do? i asked all my friends and majority of them said that i should keep the baby.

*scoots in the conversation* I first got pregnant when I was 15 and had an abortion. I don't recommend it for you since you seem very unsure of yourself. I'm 18 now and I have a 7 month old girl. Being a mother is hard, regardless of how old you are. But, you are right having a baby young is much harder than when you are older. Not 18 or 19 older, but like 25 or 26 married with a good career older. A baby is a lifelong decision. They say "You're gonna be taking care of it for the next 18 years." Haha... How many people get up, move out and never need anything again on their 18th birthday? A handful at most? You're going to be taking care of your child one way or another for the rest of your life. If you honestly think you are going to be a bad mother, then do the right thing and give it up for adoption. It deserves a good home where people will love him or her very dearly. I know a few people who were adopted as babies and most of them are very greatful about it. I also know a woman who is just at the end of the adoption process waiting for her baby to come... She is SO thankful and I know she will be a good mother. To put your mind at ease about the adoptive parents if you don't want to adopt him or her out to someone you know, it is crazy hard to get approved to be a parent. You have to be in a good neighbor hood, have a good job, have some certain amount of money, they check your home to see if you can properly baby proof things, make sure you have an education plan and stuff like that. I'll be honest, having a teenager for a parent isn't the best thing. You will be struggling to finish school and probably stressed out and irritated most of the time.. Which makes babies uncomfortable. Anyway it's up to you. I hope you do what you feel is right for your baby.