Baby Shower Question-pg121248405419
7 Replies
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I know this isn't the right board and I know I've asked this in another board, but all the ladies on this board always have great advice and I could use some of that right now and I'd like to get lots of opinions. (Long post incoming) *Ok, so I'm only 16w but my big sister has been asking me where I'd like to have my baby shower (a few months away) so that way she can start planning it and getting the invitations ready. I'd like to have it here in my town, not sure where yet, but that's not my problem. * My problem is my family. Not my mother, father, sisters. It's the family beyond that. My aunts and uncles on my mother's side. I had a renewal of vows a few years back because I had gotten married outside the country and decided to have a renewal on our anniversary so family could be there. The invitations went out a little late so I didn't expect many if any at all to be able to make it. I'm not unreasonable. Anyway, I had left an RSVP number at the bottom of the invitations and spent a lot of money on postage (big families, lots of cousins lol) and had gotten a chance to talk to a few relatives that lived about 75 miles away in another town. * Well, I talk to them and ask if they'll be able to make it seeing as how it's on a weekend and I get "absolutely" from a few of them. That was great so I planned on them being there since they said they could. Well, the day shows up and the relatives don't. Not one of my relatives bothered to RSVP and I made the JP wait because I had family that had said they could be there. Well, they never showed up and I had more friends there than family. That was sad considering most of them took time out of work to be there and my family didn't work on the weekends. We didn't find out their lame reasons until after the renewal, but I didn't care. I was ticked at every one of them. DH and I had spent the money to rent a room to hold about 50 people and it ended up 12 people showed up.* My dilemma is this. My mom says I should invite everyone again to the shower, but don't want to bother wasting the money or time on them or hope they show up when they lie and say they can be there. Being pregnant, I've found I'm much more truthful and tend to hold people to their actions more. I just want to know people's opinions. Should I bother inviting them and just not get my hopes up? Should I maybe have the shower in that town so they have less of a drive? Or should I just not bother with them?
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hey teddy, that's crummy, I'm sorry that happened to you. first of all, NO WAY should you have your shower in their town to make it more convenient for them, make it more convenient for you, you're the star of the show!! I'd say invite them, if only so then they'll send you a present!! it doesn't sound like you care or not if they come, so just invite them and just try not to let it effect you if they're inconsiderate again. hope it all works out!
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Hi Teddy, I have a similar problem when planning my baby shower with my first son. Actaully, my issue was I didn't think certain family would bring a gift and why spend the money on their meal if I don't get something in return(greedy, I know) Anyways, I think there are no-shows at every party but with their history, I would not invite them. Everything is too expensive these days to have a lot of people not show up. If it was only a handful, I would say invite them and risk losing the money, but if it would be substantail, then don't. I might send them a picture of you holding up pink or blue (a__suming you find out the gender) so they don't think they've been forgotten (maybe they'll send you a gift, too)
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Teddy,,,,,,I am with Gabby ..... have it in your town because it's all about you and if your family shows up great if they don't fine maybe they will at least send a gift - most family members are suckers for new babies .....my husband aunt from Arizona couldnt make it to the shower but sent us 150.00 so invite all you can because in the end the baby shower is all about getting you as much stuff as possible before your baby arrives- I am pregnant with my 3rd and my mom wanted to make sure I got as much stuff as I could (she was a surprise and we weren't planning on anymore babies and are starting from scratch) including diapers - so on your invites let them know if they bring a package of diapers they enter a raffle for a special prize - I got enough diapers to last me the first 3 months of my new little ones life! Good luck - you inviting them shows them you are not holding grudges Good luck just don't let them ruin your day.....
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Why not have two (or more!) showers? They don't need to be fancy and be held somewhere. Most baby showers these days are at people's homes and have light snacks for food - not sit down meals at restaurants. You could ask whoever the contact person for that side of the family to have a shower for you there at their convenience. Let them plan it and worry about who's going to make it or not. You should just arrive, big belly in tow, and enjoy yourself! As for your home shower, keep it simple. I woudn't go so far as inviting 50 people. 10-20 close friends/family makes it sweet and intimate, and you'll still get tons of gifts. Others will mail you a little something after the baby arrives once you send out your announcements. And keep it in perspective. You're only 16 weeks pg and look how much this is stressing you out! Imagine being 30+ weeks, fat, tired, cranky, hormonal, AND having to deal with this c___p! No way.... do what you want or you'll regret it.
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I agree, have it close to you - or wherever the host is. Invite them to come but don't expect them and you won't be disappointed. :) Invite the people you really care about and those that are close to you and don't worry about the rest. Maybe give them lots of notice too - sometimes people get crabby when they aren't told ahead of time about stuff like that and do mean things like not show up when they say they are. Good luck!
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ok toots, heres my opinion...i have learned that in life i am responsible for my actions only, and that it is my responsibility to be the best person (mother, daughter, wife, friend, neice..etc) that i can be no matter what. when i am doing the best i can it makes me sleep better at night and a lot less stressed. family can be infuriating i know, but as long as you are keeping your side of the street clean and being the best person that you can be no matter what, then thats what matters. invite them, and put no expectations on them ( thats just a resentment in the making) that way, you have done the right thing and whatever they decide to do is their business.
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i would invite them but have it near your home not near from their homes. its about you and the baby and not them. because my mom did my babyshower and so called invited 50 people when i expected at least 30 people to come. and families are supposed to be there no matter what the circ_mstances are. and dont have to make it in a room to rent. make it at a home or on the park. my babyshower was at the beach but it was the totally opposite from my home. i want it near to my home but it was all the way in town. so i kinda knew how you feel. but my babyshower came out c___ppy as i knew because my mom doesnt know how to plan it out right and she keeps canceling on the date of the babyshower and changing her mind on the date. and everything was a mess. so i basically have like 4 babyshowers since everything is sooo complicated. idk.
i mean its up to you how you feel. but i would be p__sed if they do that again. and you shouldn't waste any money. babyshowers are more of a suprised thats wat everyone tells me.
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