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I hope you ladies don't mind..I am posting this on here because you all respond quicker than the postpartum forum. I desparately need advice! My son is almost 6 months old and just within the past 2 weeks I have become so depressed. I have these horrible thoughts that just come into my mind about bad things happening. Also when I was little I was molested by a family member and also being abused by my mother and all the sudden all that has been coming back to me and I've been scared I will become that way. I can't rock or hold my son anymore because when I look at him I start to think these things that maybe I would end up like my family and do these things to him. It's HORRIBLE! I would never do that or want to be that person. I don't know what has happened to me. I use to be so happy and loved being at home with my son. Now I wake up everyday dreading the day and it's all I can do to get through the day. I'm extremely grumpy which makes my marriage h__l. Has anyone ever been like this or been through some of the same things I have? I feel lost. It;s so strange to me how something can just come onto me so fast. Please help!
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It sounds like you are experiencing postpardum depression. I'm not quite sure if it happens that far after the baby is born or not but that's what it sounds like to me. I struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life, and I have not ever been through the things you have been through. I almost expect to suffer from postpardum after my son is born, I'm 39 weeks. I would say that you should talk to your doctor and hopefully he/she will be able to set you up with a counselor and/or with some medication. Honestly though I think you may need both. When I was at my lowest point of depression a few years back, the medicine helped but it was talking to someone and having them listen that helped me the most. Don't be ashamed of feeling this way either, there are lots and lots of women that go through this and there is help out there. Good Luck! Also remember you are not your mother, and just because she did terrible things to you doesn't mean you will do the same things to your child.
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definately try and get to a doctor... ppd can happen any time in the first year after your baby is born... and even though you arent thinkin of hurting him or anything the fact that you're scared to hold him really needs to be addressed.. he needs his mommy... don't worry you can get through this... go to the doctor... don;t be ashamed... and just continue to be a great mother !
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Yes I def. think I need some counseling. I just dread going because as a child I was always in counseling with my family and i hate going. It brings back so many memories that I just want to forget. I wish I could just clear my mind of all this c___p. It's hard to get through the day. The only thing I look forward to is when my husband comes home and sometimes he works late and that makes me even worse. I'm just exhausted. I want to love staying home and love being with my son but I don't feel that way.
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first, go to the doctor and get checked out - depression is pretty normal PP and you need to get help. Second, get counseling, it will really help. i work with a lot of people who have been through similar experiences and trust me, your past will not go away until you deal with it, hard as it may be. You'll feel a lot better if you do! It's also really normal for birth to bring back those old feelings of abuse - so get some help and don't feel bad about it! Also, my dd is nearly 21 months old and I still have a hard time some days staying home all day with her - and I'm NOT depressed. :) It's hard work! Do you have a mothers group you can meet with from time to time? Anything to get you out and interacting with other people?
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Yeah I am going to get some help. We are going to the beach next week so I am going to wait until we get back. I don't get together with a mothers group..I don't even know of one around here. Our church has MOPS but its over during the summer and I couldn't go before because my son was too young. They have age requirements. It would help ALOT to be around people and do things. I just do the same thing everyday. I get out and go to the park or go walk around somewhere but that just doesn't help much.
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where abouts do you live... maybe you can find someone on here that lives near by to have some play dates with
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that's too bad about the Mops group - ours ends in the summer too. : ) Can you contact someone in that group though and see if they have any recommendations? Let them know how you're feeling and maybe they can suggest something to help?
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