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just letting you know i had my little girl was in labour for 16 hours gas and air for just 6hours not completly natrual i know but i was so scared of asking for an epidural! i did get offered pethidine once towards the end i pushed her out on my back which was so much easier for me compared to when i was all over the place and i just could not push her out as soon as my legs were in stryps she was out in about half hour 1st degree tear no st_tches....im happy with my labour experiance
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gummibear, I REALLY do know how you feel. I felt very similar to you after the hospital birth of my 1st. You need to vent and talk about these things and work through it. Kind of like a rebirth : ) But it is natural to feel angry, upset and some how gypped or cheated out of having this experience your way and with support. Like you said it all sort of feels like it starts off on the wrong foot, having difficulty bonding with your baby at first and b___stfeeding. I was very depressed after my hospital birth not only for the reasons you describe but also I strongly believes the drugs (picotin, pain killers, etc) interfere with the natural high you get when you do it without drugs. My depression let me to have huge problems b___st feeding and if it wasnt for the fantastic support and encouragement of my midwife (I had 10 days midwife care after I left the hospital) I would have said, "f*ck it" and given up. Anyway, your next birth will be different especially now that you know more of how you would like it. There is a lot of support and literature for home birth. Google Ina May Gaskin, her books are so enpowering, I read them over and over during my last 2 pregnancies. There are forums like this one on home births and you can read other mother's stories. Most moms I found are not 1st time mothers, but like us...ladies who were disillusioned by a hospital experience and wanted to take birth more into their own hands. Hang in there!!!
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gummi: yep, it's pretty hard pushing out the 10 pounder lol. but when my hard contractions started, i was too tired from the back spasms i had been having all night long so i went for the epidural. there's nothing wrong with needing pain meds and to push a baby out is still tough. probably tougher when you've had an epidural because you have no idea what muscles to strain lol. they're telling me to push and i'm asking them if i'm pushing.
angel: it's still natural hun. even mommies that have c sections shouldn't feel like their childbirth was unnatural at all. unnatural these days would have to be a man having a baby lol. and we do what's best for us and the baby.
iona: you can't blame your SO for what went wrong. you're a strong willed woman and you could have told him your wishes before you went into labor just as much as he could have asked. my husband was sick too (throwing up and diarrhea all night) and i don't blame him for the doctor doing an episiotomy even though i asked for it not to be done. they really can play the dumb card because they will never know what it's like, no matter how much we tell them. i probably had it pretty easy, though, because my husband is very much a "whatever you say" kind of person.. before i had the baby he would say he wanted me to b___stfeed for at least a year (i told him when he makes the milk, he's allowed an opinion on the matter) and when i was having so many problems with the baby ripping my skin and her not being able to latch and her not getting enough, he told me i could formula feed if i wanted to so that i would be under less stress.
and now she's my little porker lol. she's 13lb 10oz and 23.5 inches (i measured 25) and she drinks 7oz per feeding 5-6 times a day and omg she's wearing 6/9month clothing. she's so tall!
moral: women are awesome because no one makes bebes like we do lol.
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