Pregnancy Info HOME

Tenk- Sadly, I belong to some grieving boards as well as baby boards. I was 36 weeks along with my second dd. 2 weeks left before my OB was going to induce since my dd seemed big and I was miserable. I felt her kick me 3 times extremely hard and that was the last time I felt her. I went to the OB all scared. They picked up a h/b with the doppler of 120+ but couldn't get her on the belt thingy. They sent me to the hospital saying that their equipment was too old. Off I went thinking everything was fine, only to find out that the h/b they picked up was my own and my baby had none. It was the worst experience of my life. My dd actually was a twin but the twin I lost at 11 weeks to VTS. About 2 years after losing my dd, I did get pregnant again but it was a blighted ovum so I had a D&C. That pregnancy wasn't planned but I really felt something was wrong with my body. I felt my womb was where babies go to die if that makes sense. About 5 months after my D&C, I was late for my AF. I took a pregnancy test and it showed a faint positive but then a day later, another one showed a negative and I got AF. So, either a faulty HPT or a chemical pregnancy. After that, I told my DH that I wanted to start trying again. I got pregnant about 2 months later and what is weird is I was using those OPK and it wasn't showing any surge. I thought I had a problem with ovulating. I looked at my AF schedule and my CM and I felt like I was ovulating even though the OPK said I wasn't and we did the deed. That is when I got pregnant with my twins. And you know what, after all that I had been through with the losses, I didn't have one problem with my twin pregnancy and I carried them to 38 weeks and took them home with me when I left the hospital. I guess nothing was wrong with my body. I don't know what or why it happened but I now know that even after what you and I have been through, there can be happy ending. My boys are now 3 and driving me nuts!

It's so weird how similar yet how different our situations are. I went in on March 8th for a labor check, and her heart rate had multiple dips as low as 106. Several times it did this, I pointed it out and the nurse said she was sleeping. I then told her Kamryn was awake and kicking the c___p out of me. She then replied "Oh, ok, well you can leave then". No one offered an U/S to check on her, and that was the end of it. I was on edge the remaining portion of the day, telling DH that something didn't feel right, and that something was wrong with her. I would sleep on my left side with my tummy on his back and she always kicked him (to the point of him jumping sometimes). This night she didn't do that much. The next day was sluggish, but she was moving fine. The night of the 9th she barely kicked him at all. He even commented that she was mad at him and that's why she wasn't kicking him. I was normally awakened at 2:30am ish with her "awake" time but she didn't move that night. At 6am when DH left for work I laid there and talked to her and asked her to move. She did, and I counted 10 movements. I got up and 3 hours later I knew she was dead. I called the L&D, and they said just come in I'm sure it's fine. DH (fireman) was at work again and I didn't want to worry him so I dragged my 3 small children to L&D with me. The 4 of us and the nurse crowded into the tiny triage room and she started trying to find her, but quickly realized that she wasn't going to be able too. I was hysterically crying and my children were sitting against the wall crying asking me why I was crying. I hate that they thad o see that part. Someone called DH at work and he new there was somethign wrong even tho they wouldn't tell him on the phone. A friend came and got the kids and my oldest came in to hug me and cried her eyes out, she was just so upset. They gave us our options, go home and I'll go into labor eventually, or they could induce, or I could stay in the hospital until I went into labor naturally. We chose induction, and 19 hours later I pushed her out. I've never felt such hurt and heart ache, and let down, and anger, and confusion, and just down right hate and love all at the same time. We have pictures of her in a keepsake box, and a poem that DH wrote for her memorial card. I was released about 5 hours after she was born, and that was the last time we saw her. DH was wonderful and made all the arrangements by himself, b/c I was in a state of shock the next few days. We burried her in Cincinnati OH on March 18th 2006. Now, we can't conceive again. It just seems so strange, losing her and then miscarrying 8 months after that, and now nothing. I feel so inadequit (sp) and as if I can't do it again, but we want it so badly. thank you so much for sharing your story with me, and I'm so so glad that you got your wonderful boys afterwards. God bless you!!! Love ~Teneal

I'm sorry for b___ting in, bit I saw your stories on the loss forum. Both of your losses just made me cry and I am so sorry for everything you have gone through. Tenk, I hope samehere's story brings you hope and I wish you the best of luck.

Tenk, It all is so unfair. To carry a healthy child only to lose them to the very thing that connected them to us. Also the fact that they were so healthy, they wanted to move all over. There is a DR who is trying to make u/s mandatory. He says that cord accidents kill more babies than SIDS and an u/s can possibly prevent it. I had a friends who's baby had his cord wrapped around his neck for the last 2 months. She had to go in for u/s 2 times a week to make sure it was not giving him problems. Everything was fine in the end for her, even though I'm sure it could have turned out bad at any moment. We didn't bury our dd. We cremated her which we do in our family. I was going to scatter her ashes but I couldn't part with them, so we bought a tiny silver box and put them in there. I also have pictures of her. They are hard to look at but I'm glad I have them. As for you trying to get pregnant, I know that if you are trying real hard and thinking about it a lot, it can actually make it more difficult. My friends tried to get pregnant for over 6 months. They were having s_x every day. Finally, she decided to wait for a time before trying again. That month she got pregnant. Stress is a funny thing. Oh, are you taking prenatals now? I took them for a couple of months before getting pregnant with the twins. I think that helped a lot.

Thank you so much Rhiannon for the kind words. Samehere, I do take folic acid, and vit C and something else, but NOT prenats. They make me really sick. I also think I know the doc you are referring to. Dr. Jason Collins? I do have regular contact with him and he has agreed to monitor me via home monitoring system in the 3rd tri *IF* we ever get there again. He's in LA and is the CEO/founder of The Pregnancy Inst_tute. I made a donation to his work and research on Kam's bday March 11th. So did some other family members. I think he is a great wonderful man, and I hope that DH and I get the chance to work with/meet him. Thanks again for sharing your story with me, you truly do give me hope for the future.

I have heard women that get sick of prenatals take children's chewables instead and some were drinking that Ensure drink to supplement. I can't remember the DR's name but that must be him because he was high up there in the prenatal care. I was in awe of his fighting to prevent cord accidents. That will be neat to meet and work with him WHEN you do get pregnant again. From the other thread, are you taking clomid for ovulation reasons? I have heard that if you have no problem ovulating, clomid can make it more difficult to become pregnant. I have never taken it but I have read and also seen from some of the ladies that take it on their own that they have difficulties when they had none before. I am sending a ton of positive thoughts your way that you get a +HPT ASAP!!!

Well, no, I don't have a problem ovulating. We actually think that DH is struggling with his swimmer and the doc thought if there were more *targets* for them to hit then we would have a better chance of getting pregnant again. Also with the gonal-f to make them bigger and the trigger shot to time it just right. We are going to do IUI in early June (AF should be here any minute, even tho my chart went triphasic today) and we need the big eggs and perfect timing b/c of DH's job. The meds aren't preventing my O tho, I do have an obvious thermal shift and + OPK, it's just not working. I just need to say, I HATE when people tell me to "relax and just let it happen naturally". When someone has struggled with infertility as you and I have, those are the worst words in the world. Sorry, someone on the loss board replyed that to my thread. To be honest I can't even do childrens vits, I have really good iron levels and when I take ANY multi vit (even with out iron in it) it constipates me terribly. With DD2, I was so constipated I thought I was going to go into labor to have a BM. It was dreadful. Love ~Teneal