Baby Gender Prediction and Disappointment: How to Cope

If you could choose, how would you end this sentence: It’s a …! Girl? Or boy? While having a healthy baby is at the forefront for every expectant mom's mind, it is quite common for pregnant women to have preferences when it comes to the gender of their baby. But when baby gender prediction tests are wrong, how do expectant mothers, their partners and families cope? Read on to learn how to deal with baby gender prediction and disappointment.

Baby Gender Expectations

While pregnant women may not admit it to themselves, it is quite natural to have a gender preference. Pregnancy counselors state that while gender expectations can’t be wished away, they can be preempted to adjust your reaction to having a boy or girl.

Some experts suggest finding out the sex of the baby so that you or your partner will have time to accept the outcome. Other counselors state that finding out isn’t necessary to readjusting your gender expectations, as you can still prepare yourself for the arrival of your baby by thinking of all the positive aspects of having either a girl or boy.

If you do find out baby’s gender through an ultrasound and feel disappointed, don’t let feelings of guilt get you down. Ignoring your feeling is the worst thing to do; acknowledge that you’re feeling upset and explore these emotions so that you can help turn them around. Realize that while you may think that having a girl would give you the occasion to be a fantastic mother, realize that most of the activities you can do with babies of one gender are also applicable to babies of the other, as well.

Baby Gender Fears

Oftentimes, baby gender expectations are rooted in a pregnant woman’s fears of whether or not she will be able to relate to her baby. A woman expecting a baby boy may worry about whether her son will be aggressive, or become interested in violent games and activities, while a woman expecting a baby girl may experience apprehension because they are well aware from their own experiences the types of troublesome behavior girls can often get involved in.

Having a baby girl can also make moms-to-be anxious because they fear that they will have the same problems that they experienced in their relationship with their own mothers, such as jealousy or competitiveness.

Family and Baby Gender

Still, the main influence on a pregnant woman’s gender fears is often her own family background. In fact, a person’s family history is instrumental to shaping what they feel their experience with their child will be like. If you had a troublesome relationship with your mother or sister growing up, you’re more likely to be anxious about giving birth to a baby girl. But if on the other hand you had problems in your relationship with your father or brother, or if you’ve been involved with abusive relationships, you may feel nervous about raising a son.

If childhood experiences are shaping your thoughts about your baby’s gender, speaking to a professional can be beneficial. It can also be helpful to talk to your partner, your friends and other parents and parents-to-be to discuss your hopes and fears. By confiding in others, you will see that everyone’s relationships with their relatives are different, and that, despite your concerns, you are not destined to repeat what went on in your past.

All in all, remember that every newborn, whether a boy or girl, needs the same things: care, attention, food, sleep, and most importantly, love.