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My husband and I decided that I should stay home and raise our daughter which meant that the insurance we had through my work would be canceled. He was all gung ho until we got the first insurance bill. Now he is constantly making me feel guilty about staying home. He doesn't do this on purpose. Last night he was being sweet and rubbing my shoulders I jokingly said I'll give you an hundred dollars not to stop. He said what you going to take the 100 from me and then give it back. That definitely hurt and I told him so. Makes me mad too because I freely gave him a large amount of money before we got married and I have never once tried to hold it against him.
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I would clear the air on this immediately. Sit down and tell him that you are feeling the sting of these repeated comments, and ask why he says these things - does he want you to go back to work? (He might, but doesn't know how to tell you so - he wouldn't be the provider he wants to be, maybe...) Write down the costs of daycare in your area, then gas money, formula, lunch money for you, etc. and determine how much you are saving the family, and then post it where you both can see it... it's a visual reminder that on top of the emotional benefits of being there for the baby, you are fufilling a service, and should be paid for it. Then when he says a comment like are you taking a 100 from me, you can fire back with "What are you talking about, you OWE ME 1000 for this month daycare alone! Plus maid service, catering his meals, laundry, and psychologist... I bet it adds up quite a bit. Just my opinion, and good luck. :)
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Thanks for the tip. We did talk after he said that and he applogized. I asked that very question do you want me to work outside the house and he said no definitely not. I have been praying for an answer and today I got an email that I will be hired as a subcontractor to do medical transcripts from home. It's funny after I got that email my spirits lifted and I got more house work done than I have in the last two months. Oh and if I billed for my services he would owe me a few thousand for the month at least.
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Im so sorry to hear that. I am kinda on the same boat but Im still getting a small amount of $$ from my work through my insurance benefits (short term disability) it would just be enough for my baby's diapers and anything that she needs. I have 12 wks under FMLA that Im ent_tiled to take so Im gonna use that up til my employer lets me go so I can collect unemployment benefits bcoz the insurance benefits that I will be getting wouldnt be enough after that. Goodluck to you.
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