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Hi. Im 23 and just recently Ive been wanting to have a baby. Not just emotionally, but physically as well. I just got married in January and the hubby wants to wait for 2 to 4 yrs. What do I do? I get really depressed when I think about babies cuz I want one so badly. I feel my body is telling me, as well as my mind, that Im ready. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
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Why does your husband want to wait? My husband told me he really didn't think he wanted kids, but like a doof I married him anyway. He had me worried at first because I thought he would be a terrible dad. He surprised me though. He is a GREAT father. I just had to get pregnant "accidentally". I know that sounds bad, but he would never agreed to it any other way.Would I advise it? Not unless you're willing to raise the kid by yourself..'cause he could be so mad he would leave. Not great advice I know, but wishing you the best
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I am in the same situation, I am 28 and have been dying to have a baby for a few years now. My husband & I have been married 2 years and he is not ready to be Dad. It's hard because I feel like my body is telling me that I need to have a baby, I am totally obsessed with them! Plus, everyone I know is having babies right now and going to shower after shower has become very depressing! I am so bad that when I shop for a baby gift for someone, I will often pick up something for myself and put it away for when my baby comes. We have decided to wait 2 more years and then start trying, that way we will be in a better financial situation and he will feel more "ready". I know it's hard to wait, but I know it will be worth it. Please do not attempt to get pregnant behind his back, it could have a disasterous effect on your marriage!
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Thanx ladies for the advice. I just dont know what to do. I just found out today that theres a rumor going around work that Im pregnant :o( It breaks my heart cuz I want it so badly but HE doesnt. He says in a few yrs when he gets his promotion he'll feel ready - he says he'll be making double what he is now . . . we've talked about this and he's told me that if I do become pregnant he wouldnt leave me, but then y isnt he ready? I dunno. Its all so confusing. Thanx again.
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I also want to have ababy, I am 22 and my hubby and i have been married 2 years. He dosen't want to have kids right now. He says he want to have a house and be more financially stable, but people have told me that there is really never a right time and you can never be fully prepared. I have wanted to have kids since we got married and i knew before hand that he didn't want any for a couple years but i married him because i loved him and now i will just have to be patient for now. Best of luck Britt - keep me informed on progress!!
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I am in the same kind of situation. My husband and I are 21 and he thinks we should wait until we finish college and we have better jobs. (He already has a well paying job.) However I want a baby and have thought that I was pregnant this past month (missed period) but it came out negative. I was heart broken and we talked and he said we can try in a few months if I want, but thats the problem. i don't want to be the one saying yes. it has to be "Our" choice not "My" choice. Who knows maybe we will talk more and come to a better cross road. For now we'll wait and see where we go. Best of Luck to all!
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Hi Ladies:
Just thought I'd throw in my two and a half cents here... Hubby and I were married at the age of 21. I have wanted to start a family ever since, but I waited for hubby to be "ready". I am 35 years old and have been ttc for 11 months. DH & I both want a family more now than ever. There are pros and cons to waiting and I don't know what the right answer is. I wish we would have started trying sooner rather than later. Hubby is happy that we waited. Hopefully our time will come soon but I hope that we didn't wait too long. I am greatful that I am taking the journey with him and that he's supportive and positive!
Good luck and best wishes to all!
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Hey - I'm 23, and have been married for just under a year. Hubby and I both wanted to wait a few years before kids, cause of our careers, but...well...life had other plans. Anyway - I would suggest that you go ahead and wait til you've been married at least a year. It didn't work out that way for us, and we've had some problems because of it.
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Hey Britt... I know how you feel. I discovered I was ready just after Thanksgiving last year, and my husband just kept insisting that we were waiting two more years (we have been married for two years now). Well, we had a scare and thought I was pregnant in April. We ended up talking about it and when he realized how excited he was, and then how disappointed when we found out I wasn't, it changed his mind. We are trying now. I really think all you can do is talk to him about it. Keep checking up and asking how he feels. What about it scares him? Finances? Because you will never feel financially ready. But whatever you do, getting pregnant behind his back is a really bad idea. I am sure he would stay and take care of his baby, because he will love that child no matter what, but he may not totally trust you again. You have to ask yourself if it is worth losing his trust. Honesty is the best policy.
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I'm having the same issue. However I'm 31 we've been together for 10 years married for almost 3. My Dad just pa__sed away in April. I have no children. He does want them but he is too financially worried about it! The kicker here is my brother was married in April and his wife is already pregnant. I'm so happy for them but I'm discouraged with my own situation.
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Julie, I am sorry about your dad. My father pa__sed away just a few weeks before my husband and I got engaged, and that is something that makes me sad all the time. My grandfather (my dad's dad) also pa__sed away before me and my siblings were all born, and we wish we could have known our grandfather. My dad would never really talk about him, because he was so hurt over it. Make a sc___pbook now if you can about your father, and write down all the stories you can remember in them, so you have something to share with your children. And remind your husband that if you wait until you will feel totally financially ready, then you will never start! Good luck to you!
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Gina, Thank you for that idea! It's wonderful! I will take your advise. I'm sorry for your loss as well. I think that is the toughest part. My children will not really know my Dad. How did we get so old that our parents are starting to pa__s? Thanks again and I'm still working on the Hubby!!
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Hey Julie... well, I wasn't so old really. I was 21 (in 2002). My dad was 49. All the men in his family have died early from heart-related issues. My grandfather had had surgery on his heart, and it was so weak it tore where they had sown it together and bled internally. He was in his early 50's. My great-grandfather walked into town, sat down on a bench and never got up. He was about the same age, I think. That is pretty much what happened to my dad. So many things went through my head when it happened. I felt guilty that I had been watching TV and laughing with my friends 2 hours away when it happened (he wasn't sick at all, so it was unexpected). I hated that I didn't get to say goodbye, that he would never see my children, that he wouldn't be able to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, or even hear that I got engaged. But, when my husband proposed he made sure to tell me that he had talked to my father and asked permission 3 weeks before he died, the last time I saw him. He had approved. That made me feel so much better, knowing that he knew and was excited about it. Anyhow, I went a little more off the subject than needed, but you know how it is, sometimes you just need to talk about it. Do you sc___pbook already? If you don't already know of Creative Memories, let me recommend them to you. They have awesome products, easy to use, and they make beautiful albums. www.creativememories.com Check out the website. Keep me updated on your progress! :)
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I think first find out why your husband wants to wait. But give him a break. If he isn't ready, it isn't fair of you to pressure him into it just because you feel ready. If you are ready now and want one so badly, then 2-4 years from now, you will still want one, so just be patient. If you found in 2-4 years your desire for children has waned, then good thing you waited. I think you'll have to wait, I don't see what choice you have (ethical choice anyway).
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