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I don't want to come across saying that older women shouldn't have babies, not at all, its just that they shouldn't feel superior to those that had their babies young. Leeley I agree with you as well, by the way good luck at the doctors with your baby boy, I hope everything turns out ok ( I follow some of your posts on the infant care forum)

yes, life experience is valuable, but there is nothing more rewarding in life than having a child, just because you have a child doesn't mean you don't aquire new experiences... And by the way anita it's a metaphor.... And I bet I have a better education than 50% of 35 year olds, how can you judge me and say I'm uneducated and financially unstable because I am young... ignorance is bliss... and yes I finished school and I am a registered pediatrics nurse. I am just SO SO SO SO curious why you hate on young mothers so much??????

I am 25 and pregnant with my first. I haven't ever really travelled and I'm only educated up to A-level, opting to go to work instead of University. Does this make me ignorant or unsure of my ident_ty ? Enlighten me please !

of course not Kerry, you are perfect to be a mother ;-) These women just want you to feel bad and regret getting pregnant because they waited and are insecure and unhappy... congratulations on your pregnancy, wheather you have an " education" or not, it wouldn't teach you how to be a good mother....

first of all anna, no one has said anything was wrong with having a baby at 25. no one even critisized you for having a baby at 19. but since you're determined to blab away about how older women being materialistic and insecure because we were smart enough to get our lives together before havining children then i have a few things to say to you. it sounds like you're the insecure one because while other people your age are out developing themselves, having fun and experiencing life, you're home with the baby. you are going to spend the rest of your young life as the mom of a young child. you are only 20yrs old and you will look back when you get older and wish you'd lived your life a little more and spent more time figuring out who you are before becomming a mom. second, was your pregnancy planned? i ask this because you, make it seem like being a teenage mom was something that's ideal. you act as if waiting is a choice that women will live to regret. also there is nothing wrong with develping yourself and making sure you've created the right enviorment for your child before getting pregnant but you wouldn't know about that would you anna.

and it's so typical for someone 20yrs old who only been a mom for 12mons to preach about how irrelevant life experience is.

How can you tell me that I am jelous of 20 year olds without children, actually I feel much more fullfilled then them BECAUSE of my baby. Sure, read what I said in my first post, there is nothing wrong with developing yourself before having children but why are you saying that it is not possible to develop yourself with a child, I think I have learned so much more form having a child than I would have if I were out partying and doing what other 20 year olds do... so now you are saying I don't know about motherhood because I've only been a mom for 12 months... Anyway I don;t want to argue back and forth, I was just trying gain some respect as a young mom, because I am sick if older women telling me I am not worthy of being a mother!!!!!

i have no problem w/ you being a young mother nor do i have a problem w/ you defending yourself as one, but i don't see anyone attacking you. in fact, the only attack i'm seeing is you attacking older women. your under-handed comments about us being materialistic, insecure and unhappy are unnecessary and wrong. most of the posts against young mothers are aimed at teenage girls who haven't finished school, still live at home, and are ttc. they are not aimed at self-sufficient women...they are aimed at girls.

To Anna, first i must say, your daughter is precious. Comes from her mommy and daddy. But alright down to business. I am young( build a bridge and get over that fact because that fact, will not change). But i must say, out of the 35 year old's and up that i know, i am more mature then those. Now, before you try and discriminate on me, let me share an experience with you. I, thought that i was preggy. At the first thought of that in mind, i stopped all the harsh activities. Stopped drinking( even though i do not drink as much), stopped being around smoke, stopped becoming stressed, just stopped everything that would harm my baby. Now this is before even knowing the answer to me being preggy or not. Well, let me tell you this. My mother, at the age of 35, found out she was preggy the day i found out that i WAS NOT pregnant. I was SO upset. My mother, is not a good mother. She is selfish, immature, etc. Well, right now, she is 10 weeks and has already had complications with her pregnancy! Why, i ask the Dr.? Because of her age. But does she care? Nope! Does she continue to smoke, drink, not give a care about anything but herself?. YUP! The relationship that she has with her boyfriend( baby's father) is a bad one. I am constantly having to watch out for her, make sure that she does not hurt herself, all because she is too narrow minded into taking the life of her unborn child's into hand, instead of becoming aggravated about your own issues in life. Her baby's life should be her only issue. But its not. That's reality and it has hit me. Through my life, i have never had a good relationship with my mother. And now, her being preggy again, i can see that the steps that she is taking now, are not good ones. And will most likely, have another child that Will grow up to have issues against her. So do not tell me that its about the age. My father took care of me. My mom, at the age of 24, me being at the age where i can understand whats going on, she was partying, drinking and living it up while my dad took care of me. She continued to party up until the age of 32. That's when she met her "love" she says. She is older now, but has she changed? Nope! Has she been through experiences and has lived her life? Yes. But that has not changed anything. So do not come at anyone telling them that for one, age matters. Or even that, experience. No one is ready for a baby. They can read up on it. Take notes, watch videos etc, but they are not fully ready and prepared for their baby until there baby arrives! I give props to the ones that have succeded in life, being at a young age, but has still made a better life for them selves. But most of all, their child!

Yes, a mother can be a screw up at any age.. can you imagine how much worse your life would be if your mother was even YOUNGER when she had you? That aside, if you are going to make a good parent, then you really SHOULD wait until you have some life experiences under your belt, because it will just make you that much more a good role model for your child.

meee, I am not quite sure what you are saying through your post. i think i am great role model for my child. Yes I got preg while still in school and wasn't married, etc. But I finished scholl, started a career, don't drink or smoke, provide a good stable environment for her to grow in, so how am I not a good role model because I don't have ife experience. I aquire life experience everyday. I am sure that no child grows up thinking " darn I wish my mother had more life experience before she had me so she could teach me!!!" Life is a process , a journey, you keep growing and changing bno matter how old you are.

sorry that was meant for " to meee"

Im sorry Anna... you missunderstood my point. My point was over all, i am agreeing with your point of view. To the ones that think that its about life experience to have a child, what does that have to do with anything? You take life as it is step by step. No body is ready for a child until they have experienced mother hood by hand and foot. My mother, is an older lady now, older then the age whe she had me, but look at what i have stated. She is now preggy again and thinking that she can manage but still taking the wrong steps in life. I know in my heart that she will not make it. And look at how old she is. She is now 35 years old. Older then some woman out there that have made it in life with a child or two, but she has only had one child, and has struggled tremondosly. I just was trying to make the point that i agree with you Anna, sorry for the missunderstandin!

You have a good point, but I believe that ALL the older women were referring to the girls under 17 that have children. I am 22 and due with my third child in 4 weeks. I have a lot of older ladies friends that would call me and ask me what to do. Because even with their life experience I have more experience with children and finishing school didn't help me with it. By the way I had my first when I was 19. My mom is now 40 years old. I have a BEAUTIFUL young mother that everyone around loves. She has 6 children all together. She had 4 when she was 21yrs old and had her youngest daughter three years ago. We were pregnant together it was nice because I had my mother and my best friend to share things with. If you would ask her now if she would go back how would she change it she says she wouldn't because for her we were her life. She would also tell you have them young, because as you get older it is much harder. But again not everyone loves children the same.

If you don't want to "show off your babies" (your words, not mine) then why do you 20 year olds have websites with pictures of your babies on them? Note: I would be asking you the same thing if you were 40.

Of course I want to show off my baby, I am so proud of her, like any parent would be, what is wrong with that! Any mother, no matter what age shows off her baby!!!!!!!!