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Unfortunately, you BOTH should agree to have a baby before you get pregnant. You are right to say that there is never a "good" time to have a baby, but you are both very young. You have to see that if he isn't ready, then he isn't ready---and that may or may not be b/c of the financial situation. (Guys like to use $ as an excuse when they are just scared of being a dad.) Remeber that pushing a baby on your bf might actually break up your dream relationship. You would not want to do that b/c your baby would need a father. The best thing to do is wait until he is ready, or if you feel like you really can't wait tell him how you're feeling. I went through phases where I thought I wanted a baby when I was younger but the feelings pa__s (I am 28 now and finally trying to concieve with my husband's support, of course). Instead, I kept myself busy with college, hobbies, and my pets. Now that my life is in order and we are more financially stable, my dh and I are committed to having a baby. Everyone's situation is different, but this worked for me.

You really don't have many options. You can either beg and plead which isn't a very good way to start having kids. You can trick him but again not really a good idea. Or you can wait. With how much it costs it really depends. Will your child have any medical problems? Of course you cant possible know that yet but its good to prepare. How much will it be for the labor and delivery? I know even with my insurance it will be $500 but thankfully prenatal visits and everything is covered. What will you get at your baby shower? Clothes or will people go all out and help with the big stuff? You cant really know that either. Will you b___st feed or formula feed? Cloth diapers or disposable? Regardless it will be expensive and if your already having trouble with paying bills its probably not the right time. But good luck.

there is never a right time to have kids, If you want one talk to your man because it might not be that expensive, you can get aid, medicaid for you and the baby, WIC, will help you get food when you are pregnant, and help with formula when baby is born. Have a baby shower, you will get tons of stuff. hehe. You could always get stuff secound hand. I am 20 years old with a 6 month old. Trust me, we dont have much money, but we make it through ok.

No there is never a right time to have kids. BUT it is not even close to the right time if you cannot afford it without government help. If it happens accidentally and you need help that's a different story. But to ttc fully knowing that you cannot afford to care for your child on your own it's just not right. Your still young, just get a little more stable first.

I am a 21-year-old SAHM, pregnant with #2, and we get by ever month and still have a little to save. I do not think it is appropriate to plan to get on medicaid and use the welfare system, but I think it is a great tool to help families in difficult situations get back on their feet. If you can't afford a baby right now, and you know it, don't get pregnant. But honestly, since birth, I have spent an average of 15-20 dollars a week on my girl, who is almost 2. And that includes food, clothing, dipes, toys, all the works. It all depends on your living situation, your debt situation and numerous other factors. I completely agree with Amanda. There are so many unforseeable things that can occur with a kiddo in the house. One minute you think you're coasting through the month, and the next your kid is awake at 2:00 AM screaming because of an ear infection, and you get to pay the medical bills. In know it sounds bad, but if you don't think you can afford a baby, get a puppy or kitten. If your man isn't ready, don't trick or force him into being a father. Since you have discussed it, and he has made his opinion on the subject clear, it would be extremely unfair to force him into fatherhood.

Wait till you get everything straight and then have a baby good things come to those who waits and it does so just wait. And babies are expensive you need a crib or ba__sinett unless you are going to co sleep then you need diaper bag, diapers, formula unless u b___stfeed, bottles , nipples, clothes, pacifiers, wipes, bibs, stroller when its alittle bigger, a walker and a play pen and of course some gates if u have stairs oh diaper cream, lotion baby wash you name you need it i spend 150 dollars every 2 weeks on forumla and another 40 on diapers a week and plus all other things he needs. Your best bet is to have a baby shower you will get all your essentials you need. Good luck

See having a baby shower gets you a lot of stuff that you need......so I mean you wont be buying a ton of stuff. Yes they do grow out of clothes and you would need to buy food and diapers and stuff like that, but right now as of our living conditions, we spend money that doesnt need to be spent. If we didnt do that I think we would be able to make it by with a baby!

I don't know what you want us to say. Only you and your fiance can determine if the time is right. If he isn't ready, he isn't ready, and you're going to have to wait.

Ya know what flower.momma, I dont think I need any more comments from you! If you can't act half ways decent then dont even bother making a comment cause no one wants to read it!!!!

LOL. sorry i was just reading around other forums, and i just happened to come by here, and it's none of my bus and i really don't care, but i couldn't help laughing at your last comment brina.....flower momma makes so much sense and wasn't even negative or mean or rude, she was speaking the truth, that it's between your fiance and you to decide and if one person is not ready then they are not ready...you interpreted it negatively only because you're not hearing what you want to hear and thats to trap your fiance to have a baby......it's just silliness. why dont' you let a family be a joint decision between yourself and your fiance, instead of looking for advice on a major step as precreating from complete strangers. a shower is great, but you're not going to get half of what you need, and not only that people will spend very little money on the gifts they do bring and give. you're not really going to able to use toys and picture frames as diapers and food for the child. nor will anyone buy you a crib, basinette, baby tub, carriage, car seat....all of these things are necessities and they all cost upwards of 200 and more. So don't be angry with someone elses reply, they don't know you and are only kindly replying to your questions...i didn't see anyone say anyting negative or rude. you owe flower mamma an apology.

to really answer your question about what can you do, you can start by saving and setting aside funds for the baby. As well as the baby's education fund. Speak to a financial advisor of how to do this. There are a lot of avenues out there to help you with such a decision. Three years is a a lot of good time to save for a baby. Maybe that is the first step to getting your fiance serious about having a baby. Sort out how you will support this child and put those plans into action. you and your fiance will feel that much better and stable as a family to bring in any additons. Good luck and best wishes.

Honestly I'd say your better off waiting. Your fiance doesn't seem to even want to get married (your post from s_x and pregnancy). Worry about why he wont talk to you about wedding plans and get yourself married before having kids. From what you wrote it seems to ME that he is either considering backing out entirely, waiting for you to tire of him, or letting things drift as they are. None of those is right for children. Plus add on money stress and what is supposed to be the happiest time in your life turns into a nightmare.

i was reading online on cost of having a child in the US, im from canada, so everything is covered by medical and we dont have to pay. But people are pay 2 to 3 thousand dollars for prenantal visits and delivery. drugs while in labor are extra, from what i understood. Babies are not cheap to raise and only gets more expensive as they get older. No one is financially ready, really. you kinda make do with what you got and sacrifice alot, but if hubby isnt ready, i wouldnt push it on him.

So I guess you decided to trick your df into making a baby. That's wrong. That is not the way to start a family! You didn't "forget" to put your nuvaring back in, you did it purposely. Your a evil person.

That just proves my point. My post was in no way rude. You did just want us to tell you to trick your fiance into fatherhood. That is wrong on so many levels. Think about the pressure he must be feeling. He is probably terrified that he will not be able to provide for you and the child. He loves you and wants to make you happy, but is feeling torn because of what he feels in his heart, which is that he is not ready. Lay off of him, having a child is a 2-person decision. He is probably going to have to take the brunt of financial responsibility once this baby is born. Even if you work now, do you know how much day care costs (anywhere from $500-$1500 a month depending on where you live)? If you work alternate shifts are you aware of the fact that your relationship will suffer? These are the things that we deal with every day as a young family. Yes we get by, but some months it isn't a picnic. My daughter and unborn son are my world, but I would never, ever get pregnant without my husband's consent. That is wrong. The fact that you were offended by my last post, which was incredibly benign, is sad. Sorry for not giving you what you want, which is an excuse to be sneaky and unkind to the man who is willing to stick with you for the rest of your life!

Flower mamma, on another thread i think s_x and preg brina was saying that her df wont talk about the wedding, or family or anything that shows her commitment. He gets mad and says he doesn't want to talk about it......so i think the bigger picture is that she's losing a boyfriend and is scared and panicing, so she's thinking of getting preg to trap him....pretty we think that sums it up.