|
|
|
|
|
|
Almost all of our friends and family members are having babies. This has apparently has triggered an urge with my husband. I am unsure if I will ever want to be a mother, and he knew that before we got married. I feel awful because he looked so devastated when I said I didn't think I could do it. I don't want to deprive him of anything. I know he would make a great dad, but I'm not so sure I would make a good mom. I'm still in college, which adds more confusion because I don't want to be pregnant and in college. And, I'd like to work for awhile after graduation and get a house and travel. A baby is the furthest thing from my mind right now. He says I'm being selfish. What do you think?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You are not being selfish at all! Your life will change dramatically after having a child, and the fact that you understand this makes the way you feel totally UNSELFISH! Good luck.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think he is the one being selfish, He can't just expect you to give up collage, and the things you had planned to do after you graduated, just because he is all of a sudden feeling the urge to have a baby.. I mean you can't give up your dream, for something that you knows you don't want right now anyhows.. and besides..you already told him in advance that you wasn't planning on having kids. It's such a big change, and once you have them, you can never go back to it being just you and him anymore. I'm not trying to discourage you from kids, i'm just saying i'm happy you know what you want. And to me, he's the one who is selfish to ask you to give up ya dream like that...Wish you all the best!! Please don't think i am attacking your husband.. I'm not. I'm just looking at it from my point of view :0)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks for the input ladies. Just wanted to hear some other points of view. This is so confusing. Up until now, I thought he was on the same page as I, but I guess he's changed his mind...and he has every right to do so. I'm not saying *never*, but I also know that I will be perfectly content with just the two of us. I'm glad to hear that nobody here thinks I am being selfish. That helps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's certainly something that you both need to be happy to do and I think that e needs this explaining to him! It's alright for men, and this isn't a whole feminist comment at all, but the don't have quite so much involvement in it all do they! It's not him carrying it for 9mths and pushing a football through an opening dialiated 10cm! That aside you're in college and have loads more to do. It has to be something you both feel comfortable with. In my situation it's the opposite way around. My Hubs helped me calm down by giving me something to aim for. He started off with 'review dates' for want of a better expression. These were times we set and sat down to chat about the possibility of it all. Now it's kind of gone to having a deinate time to start which is giving me loads to aim for and, its has to be said, keep me quiet! It worked for us maybe you could try? Good luck what ever you decide!
|
