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ok i know this might be a bit off the topic of pregnancy but i got to ask. Why are there so many young girls (15-17) getting married?
ok i met my husband when i was 15 - he proposed to me when i was 16, but that was it, the wedding plans were way offfffff in the distance, as a mater of fact we didnt end up getting married untill i was pg with our first daughter (19 almost 20) and at that it was a huge push on behalf of his mother to be married - dont get me wrong i love my dh and wanted to marry him very much so, i just wanted to wait till we had the money to have a real wedding - not the one we had (but thats gonna be fixed in 2008!!) i just cant understand y you teens cant wait a few years till you are at least at the leagal marrying age (which i believe to be 18 in most places). if you both love each other so much im sure a few years wont kill you !
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Well I'm not 16 or 18 but I have notice trends in girls girls that marry or have childern young.Some I belive are faced with such hardship in one way or anther that it just seems natural,after all they are adult in every other way.Some come from dysfunctioal homes(that is over have the country,including myself) and they think marrage will bring them stabitly.Some are given no responsibitly and feel as if they are treated like a child even at 16 and get married or have a baby to prove a point.I'm sure I could think of more.I don't agree with it but that is a personal opinion.I will tell you this don't expect any teen/young adult to own up to any of these reasons.They don't even relize this is way they want it.A lot of it stays on a subconscious mind until mid to late 20's.I feel the need to repeat that is is a personal opinion that I picked up from both talking to teens in person and online.I would be intrested to have a teen/young adult tell me a ligament healthy reason for wanting a baby or marrige so young.
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Oh god...................................
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my best friend was 18 when she got married. She came from a wonderful home, never had problems with her family, in fact her and her mom are really close. and she didn't do it to prove a point. She got married, they planned their first child, she had her son, he is now 7 months, and she is 5 weeks along with her 2nd PLANNED child. They own a house and a car, and he owns his own company. Her reason for getting married and starting a family? Shes an adult. she was in love, responsible, and ready. He felt the same way, and still does. They have been together since they were 14. Sometimes people are just ready. Maybe she is that ONE person that actually did it because she was happy with her life, and the way it was going. I guess NO ONE that is 18 can possibly be ready for a life of their own.
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I got married when I was 18. I am now 19 and pregnant with our first baby. I have my high school diploma and I plan on getting a degree (online) of some kind to fall back on if something were to happen to my husband. My husband is an Electrical Engineer, a job that pays a great salary and allows for me to be a housewife and stay at home mom. We have insurance, our own cars, and rent a townhouse. We have not bought a home yet because we are waiting for his company to transfer us to a place closer to our hometown, this should happen within a year and there's no point in buying now. Although my parents divorced when I was a baby, I get along with both of them and talk to my mom almost everyday on the phone, she's one of my best friends. I've always had responsibilty as I have worked since I was a freshman in high school first at a day lily farm when I was not old enough to get a real job and then as a hostess and eventually waitress the last few years of high school. I never had the urge to drink, do drugs, or even engage in pre-marital s_x and I didn't. I met my husband when I was 14 and he was 17. After that he went off to college (8 hours away) and we began dating a year later when I was 15 and he was 18. I dated him while he was going to college and he drove the 8 hours to see me every other weekend and even more around the time my grandpa died. When I was 17, in my senior year of high school he proposed to me and I said yes. I finished up my senior year and we got married that July. I moved with him the 8 hours to his university so he could finish school. 4 months after we got married we began trying for a baby, it happened on our first try and now he has graduated and is working and I'm awaiting the arrival of our little girl. Although I got married at a young age I don't think I did it for reasons any different that older women do, and the same for getting pregnant. I married my husband because I love him, I wanted to start a life with him, he was far away from me for 8 months of the year except for every other weekend and I wanted to be near him. We were best friends, companions. We thought we were ready and although things have been difficult through the pregnancy because of medical complications, I still think we were ready. It's only made us stronger. I don't think my reasons for wanting a child are any different than an older woman's either. I wanted my little girl so that I could watch her grown, laugh with her and cry with her, watch a little piece of me and a little piece of my husband make a beautiful child that we will love and cherish forever. I'm not under the impression that motherhood will be perfect, I know that there will be times when she will tell me she hates me, that she will disappoint me, and that I will disappoint her. But I'm ready for that. Emotionally and physically and financially we are ready to raise a family. People on here say "but you'll change in your twenties!" yes that's true, but you'll also change in your 30's and your 40's and so on and what better way to change than to incorporate the people that you love most into those changes. People could find faults in me and the way I live my life, but if we look close enough we could all find faults in eachother. Sure when you take one road you miss out on things on the other road, but I think that everything I have gained from taking the path that I did greatly outweighs anything that I have lost. Hopefully you will read this, my story and opinion, and take them at face value... realize that although some may take a different path than you, it's just different, not necessarily wrong. I wish we could all respect eachother on here and not generalize one another. Good luck everyone :o)
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Erica, I am so proud of you! That is so awesome that things are looking up for you! I like hearing from other gals my age, proving that it is possible to be an adult and have responsibilities at our age. Best wishes for your family, especially for your little girl!
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quinnies_mommy, "I guess NO ONE that is 18 can possibly be ready for a life of their own." hey i wasnt talking about 18 year olds! imtalking about the really young ones, hell if we had had the money to get married when i was 18 we would have!
and all but this last baby of ours were very planned! like over a yeah of trying for each- so my kids are not like they were unwanted, i got engaged early but never had any plans whatsoever to get married till i was at least 18 and we had the money to have a actual wedding! so dont get me wrong i dont find anything wrong with 18 year olds getting married, cause when i was 18 i was ready to do it, hell i moved in with my dh, started planning our family at that age! its the 14 year olds, planning pgs and getting married that gets me! NOT THE 18 YEAR OLDS!
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angel_one, perhaps you did say girls 15-17, but so many women on here think that anything less that 25 years is way too young. I'm sure you can understand that it's hard not to get your guard up on here. The way quinnies_mommy talked, it sounded as though she was answering Katie00, not you. I also was replying to Katies00's request of "I would be intrested to have a teen/young adult tell me a ligament healthy reason for wanting a baby or marrige so young." Well, 18 is considered a teen/young adult and we were giving our examples. My example being myself and her example being her friend. Quinnies_mommy, thank you for the kind words. I just feel so blessed in my life. I feel no jealousy towards any of my friends that chose the college scene path. While they are sleeping off hangovers and busting their b___ts for exams I am feeling my baby kicking inside of me and preparing for her birth and our growing family. For some, the path of going straight to college and having a career and 20 some years under their belt, is ok, but it's not for everyone. Just as the path that I took is not right for everyone. Either way I just wish that everyone is as happy as I am in the decisions they have made.
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sorry about the outburst earlier girls, i was a little bit fired up over something else and just so happen to end up responding in not the right way, i do apologise- just having one of those days!
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I got married at 17 for what I believe was a pretty good reason. My dad was getting cash a__sistance and I was living with him. My boyfriend bought me and our 2 kids everything that we needed from clothes to food because the cash a__sistance we got my dad would use to get drunk on. That p__sed me off in itself, seeing how it was supposed to go to me and the kids, too. Then the aid office started taking child support, $200/month, to pay back the state for the money my dad was supposed to be using to help support me and the kids. So out of roughly $800/month my bf was making, 200 was going back to the state so my dad could get drunk and my bf was STILL paying for our kids' diapers, clothes and food out of pocket. That's why we couldn't afford a place. Seeing that we were/are in love and we already have our 2 kids, why should we stay unmarried and keep paying for my dad to get drunk? It took the state literally 5 days to start the child support to pay back the state, yet when we were married and it was time to stop the support, it took literally 6 months. So, it seemed natural to get married. I'm amazed that so many people can not get child support yet they screw the parents that do support their families. We were tired of being screwed over and were engaged since I was 16. I think that wanting to start a life with the people you love is a good reason to get married, regardless of age. And before you attack me, no I don't mean little kids who are like 12 and 13. Anything above that has states that let you marry with consent, so I can't judge that. BTW, my kids were not planned, just so you guys know.
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angel_one- I was just referring to Katie00's post, not yours.... I was giving my legitament reason for someone of our age to have kids and marry.
Erica- Your very welcome! I agree wholeheartedly..... I am very happy with my choice to be a mother instead of "your average" teen/20 year old. I dont feel like I need the schooling they are getting, especially for the career I want, so I say, why not have a family? Stay strong and happy! Best wishes!
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Hey Everyone! My names Elise and I am head of a site called Bundlesoflove where we support Teens TTC! So if you want to post , chat , and meet other Teens that TTC without unwanted interruptions. It is easy to join my organization! You can contact me at TeenParentsRock@yahoo.com I hope to hear from you soon! ~lots of love and support ~ EliseMichelle
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Someone trying to start something ....
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I am 20 and me and my husband are getting married in Nov 2007 (enless i'm preggers and then we get married now) We have been dating for the last 3 years, and are high school sweet hearts... we were also best friends in middle school. If you are in love and will spend your life with the person get married, but if you have to have your parents to sign off on it to make it legal then you might be to young. just my thoughts take it for a grain of salt. have a good day... ~*~*~*~*~* baby dust to all ~*~*~*~*~*~*
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You gotta be kidding me, a support forum for TEENS ttc. what a joke. Dont you think that 13-18 year old should be finishing school, not getting convinced its ok to get knocked up.............
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Im 18 and i am pregnant with my first child. My boyfriend and are are actually kinda being urged to get married by family. I love my boyfriend very much and we have been together for a long time but getting married was never in our agenda for anytime soon. I came from a very dysfunctional family and i know that my boyfriend is my "safe haven" without him i would have probably followed in the path of many of my family members and dove into drugs and addiction. I know alot of families are dysfunctional and perhaps this is why so many young kids are getting married. So far my boyfriend and i have been able to stand our ground about the marriage issue but i know his family is ready to plan our wedding after the baby is born! I wish many young teens wouldnt get married just because a child is born into the relationship. Many arent mature enough to handle the added responsibility.
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I think that marriage truly is one of the most wonderful experiences one can have in life. And in my opinion.. age really shouldn't hinder ones decision to have a wedding. Now maturity and financial position.. that is what needs to be addressed. I was 20 years old when I got married. I was in my 2nd year of college.. my boyfriend was a senior in college. At the beginnign of our relationship he was very direct and he told me what he wanted out of our relationship. He didn't want just a fling.. he wanted someone to share his life with. At that point, I was a little nervous about taking on such a serious relationship.. but I loved him so I stayed with him. And within a year we were engaged. We moved intogether just prior to his graduation and after that he was offered a job in Cleveland OH (we are originally from upstate NY). BEcuase we had already lived together I moved with him to Cleveland just 7 months before our wedding. We have been married since 2005 and we are just now trying to conceive our first baby. I am only 21 (my hubby is 23) and I still can't belive that I am married. We just bought our own house. And yes it is a lot of responsibility and a lot of work for someone my age.. but I am so happy with my life and I couldn't ask for anything better. I think that the issue of marriage completely depends on the individual .. not al 20 year olds are ready for a life like mine.. but some are! And the ones that are truly committed and truly devoted to making it work.. well I give those people all the credit in the world... Those are the lucky people. They have found happiness and I wish them all the luck in the world :)
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