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Melissa. I know where you're coming from. Trust me. I'm just on the opposite end of the spectrum. My baby was born 8-22-05 via scheduled c-section. I remember being SO scared of all the things that could go wrong; what if the drugs don't take well enough and I feel it? What if I have to be put to sleep? (Being awake and seeing the birth (whether v____al or c-section) was a huge deal to me.) What if I died? What if my daughter died? What if I accidentally move during my spinal and I paralyze myself?? All these needless worries. BUT I say needless only because the chances of them happening are very low, and when it came to be over with, all I cared about at that time was listening to the sound of my baby girls beautiful cry. I know you have weighed the risks and feel that you'd rather recover from a C-Section, even if it IS possibly a longer and more painful recovery (I swear some people just want to reb___tle one sentence they read and don't finish reading before they add their two cents (coughwhathashappened?coughcough)). You're not a bad person at all for wanting to give birth by C-Section. I'm suprised too that women are always being TOLD how to have their babies. (I understand there is a difference with emergency and weighing risks to mother and baby, though.) But to opt for a C-Section is not wrong. I'm admitting though, I'm honestly jealous of you. I wanted so badly to have a VB. But Delta was breech so I had to schedule the day she was to be born. I was comforted by the fact that I was going to be allowed to watch (things like that don't gross me out,) and I'd at least be able to see the miracle of birth, even if it wasn't through the "original" birth ca___l. :c) But then... Even that was taken from me when they told me there were no mirros available. I hated my birth experince. Recovery was awful and long, my bowels took forever to return to normal, and I hate the scar and new shape of my belly. ON THE OTHER HAND- I have a friend who had to have an emergency C-Section because her sons head wasn't positioned right and he was basically stuck there. She says she had the best birth experience and recovery was a breeze, she was on her feet and feeling great in no time at all. She says she still wonders what a VB would have been like, but she's happy and is in total love with her baby boy. If you're totally adamant about no VB, try to fight it. Hard, stick to your guns. But if when you go into labor, and you know that no doctor will give you what you desire, try to go at it with your best effort and will. There will be nothing worse then having to go through labor and pushing and then being in total mental agony the whole while through. Just keep picturing your new baby in your arms, and how happy you will be when the contractions are doing their job. I remembering reading in one of my pregnancy books that if you're afraid of the birth, make it more real to you. Try to get a healthy view on it. Don't become so engrossed with what all can be awful or scary about it, but also don't pretend it will be a breeze (or in your case, you'll be able to get out of it and have an opted C-Section). Talk to your doctor honestly and openly, see if they know a birthing counseler at the hospital that maybe you can meet and get to know... ? Maybe someone who will be in the room with you? See if your hubby or boyfriend/baby's father can learn how to breathe with you, coach you through it. If you haven't already, take a birthing cla__s. Go to the library and take out some birthing books. (Avoid ones that dwell too much on "what can go wrong" and look more for ones that will get your mind into the groove of things.) Before you know it, birth, whether by surgery or pushing, will be over with and the last thing in your mind. You will only be consumed by your little bundle of joy sleeping like a little angel wrapped warmly and cradled in your arms.

Oh for goodness sakes, please don't panic!!! Insist on your c-section if you really feel you can't deliver...but if you have any complications I imagine your doctor won't then be on your hit list, right? I have had both, the only violation was when I was cut wide open across my abdomen. It really isn't a more pleasant way to go.

Oh for goodness sakes, please don't panic!!! Insist on your c-section if you really feel you can't deliver...but if you have any complications I imagine your doctor won't then be on your hit list, right? I have had both, the only violation was when I was cut wide open across my abdomen. It really isn't a more pleasant way to go and I can't for the life of me understand what research you have done that could prepare you any more for a surgery than for a v____al delivery. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Ask if you can have a bit of sedative when you begin labor to relax you and ask for the most experienced LD nurse on the floor. Some women actually surprise themselves and do much better than they ever thought they were capable of doing.

Who are you Kelsey? Why are you acting like me and adding stuff? There is no need for people to use other people's posts and then to add to them....besides, you posted RIGHT after me, it is not like it wouldn't be noticed!

I was being sarcastic and ended up with a run-on sentence. Duh? If people want to go and get a c-section for no reason let 'em. That's all I meant by the sarcasm. She will find out soon enough how much "fun" they are.

She never said she thought it would be fun - she said she was willing to accept the difficulties of a cesarean over the potential humiliation of birth. That's her choice. At least it should be - Melissa I'm sorry you're unhappy with you dr. - but seriously ladies, don't put words in her mouth, she never said "fun" and I'm sure she knows she in for one hell of a recovery.

I feel really badly that Melissa feels like giving birth is a violation or is humilitating. I do understand her worries about the stresses of labor, but when you are preparing for a surgery there is this horrific sense of panic, terror actually and for me an overwhelming fear of death. Looking back, I felt more humiliation when splayed out like a sacrificial lamb on the OR table with a tube up my urethra and a bag of urine displayed for all to see the enitre time I was in the hospital. I hope you have come to accept your choice of having a baby and to just let what happens happen. Either way there are fantastic odds that you will come out of this just fine. Good luck!

sorry...but I feel that there are more things to be concerned about than humiliation over a cath., People get them often, it is a fact of life that we all pee...

To Wow, the catheter needs to be taken in full context with what I said, I said I felt more humiliation being "splayed out like a sacrificial lamb on the OR table and...: The catheter with a urinary bag..." etc. I was trying to be positive for her since her doctor does not do unecessary surgeries. I have friends who feel the same way so I just wanted to give her another opinion which is what she asked for. Also, it is pretty humiliating to be trying to vomit on the OR table but you can't because you are so paralyzed by the spinal that the vomit and foam just pour out the side of your mouth while you are retching, unable to even vomit correctly because the spinal went too high.

your preaching to the choir yanna, I got sick on the table and I had to have my mouth suctioned as I threw up on myself, but I guess that I was too concerned with my son than what I was going through. As soon as I heard him vry, I forgot everything that they were doing to me and wanted to see him.

i dont know where you live melissa but it is your choice..i am not sure how the doctor can refuse you...i have had 2 c sections and i have no clue what labor feels like? i wish you the best of luck whatever happens you will be okay but if you really want a c i would push unti lyou get it...it is your right to have the birth of your choice..

Why would anyone resent their child for putting them through a v____al delivery? I hope that all of you understand that YOU were the one wanting the child...the child never had a choice in this matter. People have been having babies v____ally since the beginnig of time. It is what the body was meant to do;however, sometimes complications do arise and a C/S is necessary. Like I have said before, please educate yourselves before making drastic decisions. Just like you think you have the right to demand an elective primary C/S, the doctor has the right to refuse an elective primary C/S that isn't medically indicated.

I myself am 5 months pregnant and worried sick about natural childbirth.Again, to all you natural birth advocates I hear your side too, but bear with me, I am an extremely nervous person in general I have been taking anti-anxiety meds for as long as I have been pregnant! I have tried to do some research on doctors online to find out which ones will do an elective c-section, and I have no luck...can't there just be a database somewhere of doctors who at least consider it? I am really becoming terrified and it has gotten so bad that I think and about it and have panic attacks. I almost want the baby to continue to stay breech so there is no choice.

I can't believe most of you are so scared of having a v____al birth. I'm 19 and when I had my daughter at 17 I cried because I had to get a C-Section *She got stuck and I couldn't feel the contractions to push*. If a 17 year old willingly will want to have a baby v____ally and you 20+ year olds are whining... get over it. Maybe you'll be mad at your baby for making you go through pain, but that's what an epidural is for. Deal with the fact that you wanted a baby, so have your baby the way you're suppose to. You don't want people down there... ask for only the neccessary people to do it. Stop whining because you can't get your way. Don't have a baby if you can't have it the way god intended you to have it. Geez.

Oh and to add on... going through both v____ally *labor from 7am to 7pm, no epidural* and then c-section *having to end up getting my abdomen cut open*... I'll tell you right now, the C-section hurts three times as bad in the end. It hurts to walk, cough, sneeze, laugh, cry... any type of excersize, ouch.

I'll tell you that having a natural birth,hurt me far worse than the section.If I could not have a section then I would not have had baby number two,that is a fact,no way.As for the epidural,it does not always work that way,my dear.I was begging for pain relief some did not take,others made me be sick.I waited for the epidural,it did not take,others I have spoken to either got there too late for the epi,or it did not work for them either.You can get little girls of 16 having babies,who have not had a life themselves,but the most important thing is how you raise the child,not howe it entered the world in this day and age.My sister-in-law,her last natural birth took 2 hours,start to finish,her 4th,as she said a bit looser down there...charming! I think she should not have had any,she has no control over her kids but there we go.If someone wants to have a child,and have thought it through,then it is up to them in this day and age how they choose to.