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Sounds like you already know what to do. Good luck!

the thing is...my fiancee is 29 years old! it's not like a little kid we are talking about here...but he is acting like he's 21!! Do men ever learn? Do they every grow out of this? He out risking is life drinking and driving all the time and i know that one of these days i'm going to have to tell my child their father was an idiot and killed himself drunk driving....i dont want to have to do go through that...am i wrong? I feel very strongly about this and i know its not hormones...and the thing is...he's only really started acting this way since i've been pregnant...when it the time he should be home with me! arrgghhh.... I love him to death but I have 2 alcholic parents and i refuse to go down this road with him too,,,

shygirly...Wow I could have wrote this myself. I too have dealt with a man that does not feel the need to grow up( he's 31) and feels that it is okay to drink his life away because "He likes to drink". To give you a little background.... We have been together going on 2 years now, he has 3 kids and I have 2 (and one on the way). We moved in together just after I found out that I was pregnant so in all we have lived together for almost 9 months now. Prior to us living together, he did his thing and I did mine and when we moved in together he felt that he could keep doing his thing while I was stuck on my own, at home with the kids, and pregnant on top of that. I was also VERY sick (heart problems) in the beginning. After about a month of him going out 2 to 3 times per week and on the weekend, plus not contributing anything toward bills or rent, I blew up!! I gave him the choice of going out and acting like a immature boy or losing me. I told him that it was as if I was single anyway because he was never there anyway and I was still responsible for all the bills. The only time that he would come home was to take a shower and sleep for a couple hours. He tried to continue his little "going out" game and I told him to get lost....He of course said that he would definatly change and I agreed to let him stay. He still has his nights with the boys, but they come to our house and drink. If he does go out then it is usually only once a week (when he does not have his kids) and I make him give me a time to expect him or I lock him out of the house (chain lock). It seems to be working!! Just have a talk with him, if he does not take you seriously then leave, the baby does not need to grow up with an alcoholic parent anyway!!! Good Luck!

I agree with sniggies, an ultimatum might be a good thing. But counseling, both relationship for the both of you, and AA for him, might be good too. You said that his behavior worsened after you bacame prego, so it might be his way of coping. No that I'm condoning it or anything, but it's a possibility. Good luck!

Shygirly, wow, it is weird how so many of us are alike. My husband did not go out much but we had another iissue, I wanted another child and he did not. We had tried for years, our son is now 11, and he finally said no more. I was crushed. I started a medication for my PCOS and wanted to try agan. He would not budge. I don't lke to think I gave him an ultimatum, but I guess I did. I was honest about what I would except in my life and what I would not. There was some behavior that I felt was unacceptable for a marriage (yelling at the top of his lungs when he was really mad, only happens 2x a year but still). This and the baby thing were no longer negotiable for me because I was so unhappy and that was not fair. Why should I live my life where I was depressed and sad all the time. I could not live without trying for another baby, I wanted it so bad. And I was not going to be yelled at because he was too immature to walk away and calm down. So I said one night I think it is over. I cant live like this, I have tried to do it your wya, and I am too unhappy. Long story short ( i know too late) after a long talk (3 days) and 2 days of him thinking, he said he loved me too much then to let me go. He said he would go to therapy to work on his anger outbursts. He also said he would go through the stuggle of trying to conceive again. We are 7 weeks along now after only 2 months of trying on the medication. My husband would have his anger outburts shortly after returning from Iraq so I knew it was PTSD, but that was no excuse for yetlling at me like 2 year old. Since our talk 6 months ago he has not yelled and has been doing great. So I would be true to yourself and your unborn child. You want a family not a room mate. You don't want to be left alone all the time. And drinking is someting that should be done in moderation 2X a week or a beer at night. I think that people should go out in a marrige but like 2X a month or someting alone. I would say you are willing to compromise, but right now he lives a single life with th perks of a relationship and that is not fair. Ok, so sorry for rambling, it just hit so close to home. Good luck girl and keep us posted!

i know exactly what you are going through i went through it with my hubby and guess what finally made him change i told him either me or the alcohol he went and got drunk i packed up being 5 months pregn at the time w/ our 1 st daughter and left and just left a note telling him that i was sick of me /baby being second fiddle to the bottle and didn't call him for 2 days he stopped drinking that day and hasn't drank but once in a blue moon in 5 years and we're expecting our 3rd child any min. so there is hope if you want to try good luck to you i hope it all turns out good

sounds like you leaving shocked him so maybe this time it will bring some changes my hubby was the same way and i thought the same way as you and look now he as changed his ways so maybe it willl be the same for you but dont back down no matter how much he begs tell him that if he does your gone because if you show any waivering in your thoughts he'll not take you serious good luck

He is an alcoholic...my DH drinks maybe 1 or 2 times a month but when he drinks he will not stop until he is wasted and my husband is an alcoholic. I had a similar situation to yours about 5 years ago when my husband and I was just dating...he was drinking and did something stupid one night and went to jail for it. It was not anything serious but as hard as it was we decided not to bail him out for a few days and it was the best thing for him. My husband was 30 at the time, so they can change and does sound like he wants help, but I do understand it gets old feeling like a babysitter to a grown man.

Hunn to me it does sound like you know what you have/should do. Now its just weather or not ur gunna do what you feel is right or continue to belive the Im sorry's and ill change.. Best of luck to you and ur unborn baby