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Ok...so ummmm I've gotten myself into one h__l of a situation. I will give you a little background. I've had 3 miscarriages. One was an incomplete abortion and I went in for my ultra sound and saw the baby but no heartbeat. I had to get a DNC. The second was a blighted ovum. Found out at 6 weeks and the third was a week after I found out by taking a 5 day early pregnancy test. Complete abortion. I got married in June and since then my husband became verbally abusive and was drunk every day. I left him. I have been separated for 2 months. I met a guy at work and we started talking just as friends. He is married also. Unhappily married, but married. I started to have feelings for him and tried to push them aside. One day we kissed. And I felt so horrible. We both started falling for each other very quickly and very hard. We didn't mean for this to happen and I had finally told him it needed to stop. I couldn't do this anymore. I just prayed that God would forgive me. I was missing him like crazy. Depressed, crying, the whole nine yards. He contacted me and apparently was going through the same thing. A few days later, I realized I had missed my period. I thought it was because of stress. Because I had used NuvaRing and he pulled out also. Welllll apparently I'm one of the 1% that become preggo even on that. He wanted me to have an abortion but I refused to kill a child just because we made bad choices. He understands but still doesn't want the baby. I told him to go figure out what he wants to do because I'm gonna concentrate on me and this divorce getting finalized and being a good mom. It's all I can do. I told him we will be fine with or without him. I even told him he doesn't have to have anything to do with this child. If this is how he feels we'd be better off without him. It's tearing him up. This isn't him and he said he can't deny his offspring but he doesn't know what to do. We were taking the break and he was trying to figure out if he should leave his marriage or make it work and now this has been added to the equation leaving him even more confused. He said he loves me and he knows that he was feeling that he should be with me but now that he's overwhelmed with the guilt of what he's done to her, God, me, himself, his family, this baby, and everyone he knows and cares about he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't and I don't want him to come to me just because of the baby. But he doesn't know how he can tell if its just because of guilt that he would choose her or if it's obligation that he would choose me. So I told him that I can't make that decision and all it does is add stress to my life. This baby is now my number one priority. And regardless of the situation, after having three miscarriages, I know, that EVERY child, regardless of situation, is a blessing. And I will not throw that away. I will love this child and give it the best home possible. I made my bed now I have to lay in it. All I can do is learn and move forward and pray for forgiveness. I can't take it back. I have never cheated on a man I've dated much less my husband and never saw myself falling in love with a married man. It's not me. I've just never clicked with anyone or loved anyone the way I do this man. Yet I know, that it's best for me to let him go. And if it was meant to be it will be. I know that I will make sure my child knows that if his/her father is not there it was nothing to do with that child. Who knows what will happen by the time the child needs to know. My mom got preggo with my sister and her father took off as soon as he found out. My dad adopted my sister and she has had a wonderful life. She learned about her father when she was 15. My mom said that was old enough for her to understand a little more. So anyway, I know that it can and will work out. This whole thing is just really tough. And I have no one to blame but myself. So go ahead let the harsh comments commence. I deserve them. I pray for forgiveness and I have learned from my mistake. I cant change what I did. All I can do is deal with the consequences of my actions, learn, and make the best out of this. I do have to say that I am actually happy about being a mommy. Not about the situation but after 3 miscarriages, well, I just pray for a happy healthy baby. That's my only concern. :)