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I'm 27 years old and I've been married for 3 years now. We have one boy who is 15 months now. Well about a year and half ago I stepped out of my marriage and I had an affair with a woman from work. It lasted about a week while my wife was out of town. We were having some issues and I was so selfish and I felt like I wanted to be young and single again. I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. I was drinking a lot more and my so called friends encouraged my decision to cheat. Well I called it off after that week. And that was that. I didn't know how to tell my wife. I loved her but I didn't want to hurt her. Well a couple months later that other woman called me and said that she was pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I knew this would kill my marriage and it would break my wife's heart. Well about a month later I told her. And I was right. I broke her heart. I didn't know how to handle the situation so I ran like a coward. I left her and I went to my parents. My wife still wanted to work it out but I didn't. I was still selfish and I was starting to grow bitter towards her. I don't know why. I was so angry at myself but I took it out on her. To make it worse I started a relationship with that other woman. It lasted about 5 months until one day after work I broke down crying and I didn't want to keep living my life that way. At the time I was drinking a lot and I was so mean to my wife. She filed for a divorce. But something was talking to me. I am a believer in God and I dedicated my life to him that night. It was him talking to me. So I broke up with the other woman and told her that this was all wrong. That what we did was wrong and that I shouldn't have ever left my wife. And that it was a mistake. And I should have never let it come this far. I told her that I love my wife and that I'm going to fight for her. And that I didn't want anything to do with her. Well I started to be nicer to my wife and asking her if she need anything or need more help with our son. Well she caught on and asked what was going on with me cuz I was so mean to her before and now all of a sudden I'm nice and I care. I told her what had happened and that I dedicated my life to Christ and I was sorry for everything that I did to her. Well slowly she started to come around more and we started to work it out. We spent Christmas and New Years together and it was great until the baby was born. It was a girl. The other woman called me and asked when I was going to see the baby. I told her I wasn't. I told her that I didn't want anything to do with her or the baby. I said that I would pay child support but that's it nothing else. I didn't go because I didn't want my wife to think that I cared about the other woman and the baby cuz I didn't. Well it's been about 5 months now and I haven't heard from the other woman. I lost her number And she hasn't tried to contact me in anyway for child support or anything. My wife and I also found out that we are expecting again and that it's a boy. We still argue about me cheating and it comes up still. She still doesn't trust me. Which I don't blame her. I know it's going to take a long time for me to gain her trust back.   But I'm willing to do whatever she wants me to do and to work on building her trust again no matter how long it takes. I love her so much and I know I have a lot of making up to do. But I feel like if we can't move past what I did that we will never move forward in our marriage. Right now my wife is angry because we are not having a girl. And that she's not worthy enough to have a girl with. I'm trying so hard to comfort her and be here for her. But my question is, is wrong for us to forget about what happened and move on with our lives? I mean the other woman never put me on child support or never contacted me so is it wrong of us or selfish of me to just move past it? And I know my wife has every right to be mad about the gender but is there anything I can do to assure her that it's ok? And to help us forget about the past and move forward with our lives and our soon to be 2 boys.