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Hi.. My wife is 4 months pregnant nearly and i am confused as to how ive been behaving of late. We have been married since July and i have to admit when things are good there amazing and when things are bad....Hold onto your hat! (this was before pregnancy).. Now her first 3 months were ok,sickness,tiredness and cranky .Sometimes i can take it and shut up other times i have to argue back,not sure why but i do..The last row we had was over a week ago and we havent spoken civily or amicably since.It all got out of hand after one big row.I unfortunately reacted to her vile mouth and accusations . Her vile mouth lit a fuse in me that id never seen before and i of course said some bad things back in return... Do i regret them? yes i do but there is only so much a man can tolerate. I try ,have tried very hard to be sympathetic ,send flowers,always tell her how s_xy she is when she moans about her celluite and saggy bum and the odd occasion we have s_x i feel as passionate about her today as i did when we met BUt all this is not good enough. I am told constantly how a bad father i am ( i have an 8 year old from previous marriage who i see a lot of ) how she regrets meeting me,regrets marrying me and how i dont deserve to be a father again...How because i have only bought her one pair of Christian Bouton shoes in a year im a bad guy.To be honest im not sure what happens with us,i want to make amends and have tried very hard to apologise and have been reading as many articles about what who and why but to no avail as yet.Do i just shut up and take it all...Am i going nuts.....Am i supoposed to just take all the vile and disgusting comments ... Help !!
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Hmm! I'm sorry your wife grew up in a family where bad language was the norm. She probably listened to this kind of stuff all her childhood. Now every time she is feeling bad about anything she finds mean things to say and lashes out unexpectedly. It's difficult not to react. Perhpas if you can understand this is some kind of sickness of the mind you will be able to calm youself and say "I'm sorry you're upset. Let me give you a nice hug and try to make it better." Stick with it until after the child is born, than if you can't take it any more it will be time to consider other solutions. GL!
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thanks for your reply..I am sticking to it but the longer it goes on the worse it becomes.. I am staying out the way untill she wants to speak.Think best way !
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I reccommend a marriage counselor. My husband and I were going through some problems, I wasn't pregnant. But it was a tough time, he would never listen to me or honor my respect when I wasnt there. Well we only went to one session, and we were able to talk like civilized adults and there was the mediator who didnt take sides nor judged on personal problems. It really helped. A year and half later it's wonderful now, of course every couple fights. But when the name calling and disrespect comes along there is no way that is healthy for you, her or the baby. Her having outbursts like that is unhealthy, maybe she feels depressed or unhappy. Its best to fis it before the baby arrives, she seems like shes more likely to fall into post partum depression. But there is so much u can do, she has to meet you half way.
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