 | J - June 13 |
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I guess I will start at the beginning. Last April my wife kicked me out. I do not blame her, I was on drugs and cared more about getting high than I did about my family. We were split up for 7 months. During that time I had a relationship with another person. To make a long story short, I was in trouble with the law because of my addiction. I went to treatment and have been clean for 11 months now. When my wife and I got back together we hear from my ex-girlfriend that she is 6wks pregnant. I didn't really have anything to do with my ex during her pregnancy. I wrote to her and asked her to let me know when the baby was born. She did. My wife has been great through the whole thing. She has excepted that in addition to our 2 beautiful daughters I also have a new daughter. Ali is now 5 wks old her mother has only let me see her 3 times (2 at hospital 1 at my home). I have been sending her money to help out with support. In the County I live in the Court goes by a break in visitation schedule which is 0-4mo 2 hours twice a week and every other Sat. & Sun. I only ask of her what the Court would give me but she refused. Says she does not trust me and she does not trust my wife because she is too nice. What should I do?
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Take it to a lawyer. If all you want is what a court will give you, take it to the courts.
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If you are paying child support and admit paternity, then you are ent_tled to visitation rights. I would get a consult with an attorney, there are some attys for low income if you are unable to afford one, and see what your options are. You should know that your past is going to be pretty substantial in what the court recommends, but if you have been to counseling and are doing well, have paid off or are paying off your fines and being a productive member of society, then there should be no problem in having visitation with your daughter. I am a paralegal in WA state....where exactly do you live?
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Number one Congrats for being clean for 11 months !!!! I would consult a lawyer you do have rights even with your past you've cleaned up your act and you do have the right to see your child as for your ex not trusting you or your wife shes too nice? She needs to grow up like your wife would hurt the baby if she loves you then that baby is a part of you and there is no way she would hurt you or the baby.I'm glad your wife is supporting you .If your paying support you have alot to argue even more so now that you have your life heading in the right direction.Good luck.
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J - where in MO? Just so happens I know QUITE a few family law attorneys in the St. Louis and Kansas City areas, because I worked as a legal secretary in St. Louis for 12 years, and my uncle is Dean of UMKC's law school. :) Lemme know if you need a recommendation. And, FYI, Missouri law is on your side, as long as you are named on the birth certificate. Even if you're not, you can have a court-ordered paternity test, which will then ent_tle you to full paternal rights.
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| J - June 15 |
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Kansas City area. I have an appt. with Sherri Edwards do you know of her?
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Not off the top of my head...let me know how that appt goes, and I'll shoot an email over to my uncle, see if he a) knows her, and b) has some other names for you, in case you're not satisfied.
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| J - June 17 |
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Well she called I asked her again if I could have her on fathers day for 1 or 2 hours she said no. She thinks I am trying to take the baby away from her. She said I could come over to her house to see her w/ my kids, but my wife couldn't come. She says she does not want the baby around my wife because she would try to claim her as her own and that she would be the one to take care of her. She has finally filed for child support, but the way she filed does not address visitation. Hopefully the Atty. I see on Monday can change it to address the visitation. We will see.
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If you aren't paying child support you better start now because she can get you for back child support even 6 yrs from now. Also you need to speak with a lawyer and take her b___t to court, just because you had problems in the past doesnt' mean she can tell you that you can't see your daughter. Now it is possible that she can put in the court order if they do give you visitation that she doesn't want your wife around the likely hood that it'll pa__s is slim to none unless she uses drugs now. I recommend going to a website specifically for non custodial parents and father's rights. www.deltabravo.net --aka-- SPARC
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| J - June 21 |
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I spoke to an Atty. yesterday. She said that I will get visitation and if she goes against the court order we would fight for custody. She also said that my ex can do nothing about my wife being around the baby. Said my ex will just have to live with it. The Atty. also said that the child support will only go back to the date the Pet_tion is filed. My Pet_tion is being filed next week.
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Just so you know the likely hood that you will get custody or even primary custody is extremely slim. If your ex gives you any greif like hiding the baby or whatever keep up on the doc_ments and take her to court for contempt the doc_mentation will help
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J - FYI, Jessica is wrong - Missouri law no longer favors the mother the way it once did. You have a steady, stable home environment (2 parents, not just one, etc) - so if you go for full custody, you very well may get it. Keep me posted!!!
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J- FYI Jamie is obviously living in La La land. I seriously urge you to visit this web stie. www.deltabravo.net aka sparc. If the www address doesn't work go to any search engine and type in SPARC and look for the description to be about non custodial parents and father's rights. On this site there is someone who can give you FREE legal info for your state. It's worth a shot. I PERSONALLY have gone through a custody hearing with my husband regarding his 2 kids both older. The mother was granted primary custody. Just remember although it is illegal to place a child with the mother simply because she is mother it doesn't mean it doesn't happen in most of the cases. And as for including a custody/visitation order in child support that probably won't happen. They keep money and parenting time separate.
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| J - June 27 |
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My wife has been talking to an old friend that works at the Court House in the Division that the paternity cases are heard. She said my chances are very high. If the father shows interest in being a part of the childs life then he will get joint custody and visitation. She also said that if she does not follow the order my chances of getting custody are very high. She says that happens quite often I have also spoken to the Paternity unit at the Court House. They say that a lot of fathers do not give a "rats a__s" about the child and whether they are taken care of. As long as I show an interest and have an atty. I will get visitation and joint custody. A mediator in my county also says the same thing. I think I will put my money with Jamie, she knows what she is talking about.
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