I M So Lost

7 Replies
E-rock - January 12

Ok here is the speal of things, 12 weeks ago i found out my girlfriend was pregnant. Mine and her first reaction was to get married. Then she said that we shouldn't get married until we both graduate college which would have been a semster for her and a year for me. And i was reluctant but willing. Well she was in Colorado for a semester of studying when all of this happened. She had come home for a week for her Grandmothers funeral. And that is when she got pregnant. Well as of Nov. 19 she is back in Dallas where we both live. However she is now trying to get my rights invoultarily revoked. She is using all of my dirty secrets against me. I'm not a drug dealer or anything like that. But like ALL people i have my flaws and she is exposing them to get full custody of the baby. I still love her and want to be with her. I'm even working two jobs, and i already have full benefits for when the baby is born in May or June. I'm signed up for parenting classes at a local hospital so that i can prove to the courts when i go that i can have visitation. I don't know what to do i spend almost every night in prayer. (i'm a theology major so faith is the most important thing to me) and in tears b/c i really want to be apart of the unborn childs life. Again i still love her and want to raise this child with her. I feel as if i was lied to all these years (2) I am trying to be as positive as i can be and i would appreciate anything you guys could offer up, or if no one responds i just need prayers. If you do decide to respond back please nothing negative about my ex girlfriend. It will not help my state of mind at the present. I know God has a plan for myself and my baby but i want it to be on his terms not mine b/c without Him I'm nothing. Eric P.S. I found this site by typing in her name and pregnancy to see if she had posted anything on any websites and this is what i found. She has posted on the single and pregnant under "is it wrong to put the father unknown" If you want to check it out her name is Sarah Coco

 

EMBERBABY - January 14

Just because you can't work it with her doesn't mean you can't be a part of your baby's life. Start writing to her (emails work because of the dates) tell her how much you love your baby and how much you need to be a part of your lo's life. The reason I say write her is because if push comes to shove you can show proof ( in court) that you are not a dead beat and it is ALWAYS in the best interest of the child to have a loving father. Please don't lose faith. As any good mom she wants the best for her baby and she will see that her baby needs a father. Good luck to you and I hope things work out.

 

E-rock - January 14

I have been told by her lawyer to not contact her at all other wise they are going to get restraining orders. I'm just lost b/c so many fathers don't want their children and here I am one in who knows how many, and I have to go to court just to see my unborn child.

 

Allisonc79 - January 15

You know as a father you have rights too. You can also try for custody, and maybe even full custody if you wanted. This is not just a womans job, a man is also fully capable of raising a child. Of course a baby needs its mom, but also a dad! Just talk to a lawyer yourself about what you can do to obtain partial custody.

 

E-rock - January 15

I know I have rights. And i already have a lawyer who is one of the best in Dallas for family law. I don't want full custody I want our child to know both myself and my ex girlfriend. I want to be married to her and raise a family. I know it's not just a womans job, it takes two people to raise a child.

 

lawlady72 - January 15

Honestly if she has gone as far as to have her lawyer threaten a restraining order, there is nothing you can do except work on outting your case together with your lawyer and keeping you nose cleaner than its ever been for a good long time. I don't mean just until the court dates are over, well beyond that because it seems she's very adamant about you not having contact with this child and if you do get joint custody and step one toe out of line, she may file to have it revoked. Seriously though I do not see her "coming aournd" and agreeing to marry you, she has gone through a lot to keep you at a distance.

 

lawlady72 - January 15

oops I meant putting your case together....

 

Bridget - February 14

Unless she has a valid reason that you might not have mentioned to this board, it sounds like she is being completely unreasonable. Why would she have s_x with you 12 weeks ago and now suddenly have such strong feelings against you that she'd HIRE A LAWYER? You sound like a very nice fellow and you're right, there are so many dead beat dads out there that this is just perplexing. I wonder if she is having some very strong hormonal surges? The amount of estrogen a woman produces during pregnancy is equal to 150 years of estrogen during the non-pregnant years. In other words, every trimester a pregnant woman could produce a lifetime's supply of estrogen for a woman who never became pregnant. Strong stuff. Good luck in resolving your differences.

 

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