Why Do Guys Not Understand
9 Replies
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This question is for anyone that wants to answer. My fiance and I just found out that I am pregnant. It was not planned, it was an accident. We are both excited, but we were in the middle of planning on wedding and now everything is just up in the air. The part that is getting to me is why does he not understand what I am going through. He has read articles, and I try to talk to him about what is happening to my body and that there is nothing I can do about me being sick or tired or moody. I would if I could but I cant. He says to me, he just doesnt understand cause I am only a little pregnant? What a little pregnant....you are either pregnant or not pregnant. I just dont get how to get it through his head. It is really making things bad for our relationship. We fight all the time, cause he wants me to be chipper.....uggg. We have not spoken for two days and we live together! Help.....what can I do to make him understand???
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Can you make him read about mood swings and the like in a pregnancy book so it will sink in?
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join the club, honey. at least he's helping you plan things, unlike my husband. guys just dont understand. they dont understand womens mood swings to begin with, and they are ten times worse when we're pregnant, and they just dont get it. id like to know why too.
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Have you got a pregnancy book or something? He obviously dont realize that the first part is usually the worst! I think its cos men only see the physical side of it so they think its only hard when you get a real big bump! We just dumb like that unfortunately
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The main reason he probably doesn't understand is because he is not informed....get stuff for him to read, or videos on early pregnancy. Men can feel like nothing has changed when you first get preg hey! You don't even have a bump yet!! Nothing's happening in them...why the fuss?!! If he can get informed, he will be so much more sensative. My hubby is fantastic, he will cook tea when I can't! He gets me a cuppa in bed every morning etc.He understands, because he had taken the time to get informed. Go girl!! You can do it....communication is the key...you guys are getting married..wow..you are having a babe...double wow! Well done...it will come together. Lots of info on the net....good luck!
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You might also try talking to him about your mood swings. Tell him that you have no control over them and they don't exactly make you feel good either. You might also tell him that it is nothing personnal against him. My DH was hurt and confused with my first pregnancy, when I lashed out at him. I told him that it wasn't a personnal attack on him, I was just tired, hurting, angery, frustrated, etc. etc. etc. Plus, I realized that I lashed out at him because it was safe, I knew that we wouldn't leave me or try to hurt me with words to get even. He was a safe place for me to vent. Hope this helps, GL
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Arrrghhh pregnancy and a wedding, 2 of the most stressful things in life, and to mix them together is very stressful. I honestly think your fiancee needs to show compa__sion and support to you as a person. Me and my partner have had a difficult pregnancy that left her very anxious and worried throughout to the point she would burst into tears at any moment. But because we shared the experince and i showed compa__sion, understanding and caring we came through it with a lot stronger bond
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I am going through the same thing w/ my fiance. Our pregnancy wasn't planned either. It often makes me wonder if he's not ready, although we talked about having children soon all the time. I've had men talk to him, but he hasn't changed. I personally thing some men just don't understand and don't WANT to understand. For some reason they just don't want to accept the changes. GOOD LUCK!
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i went through this with my BF, nothing i said or his sister said or his mom said, got through to him, he just wouldnt get it. it wasnt untill his step dad sat down and had a good talk with him that he finaly understood. i also explained to him that if im in a mood for no reason, just leave it alone, dont poke and prod to figure out whats wrong with me just leave me be and ill be fine in a bit.....he now does that and my moods dont last as long.
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I think it's a bit of a bold statement to say that guys (meaning all guys) don't understand, especially when posting into a forum for new dads to post and ask questions. I take into account the mood swings that my fiancee who is pregnant and has been going through alot of them recently. Yes, we don't understand what it feels like totally cause we are never going to be a woman, but us men ourselves get mood swings. There was a study into the hormonal differentiation in a man and it was found that men also have a time of the month where they don't feel good, yes we don't go through the physical anguish that awoman goes through with menstruation and cramping but we get a time of the month where the testosterone levels in our bodies are lower than any other point in the month, leaving us with tendancies not unlike a pre-menstrual woman.
I'm a 20 year old man, I know that women go through alot more than men do, but that's not to say that I don't understand. I'm going through with getting married at the end of this month with my fiancee and I understand clearly the stresses due to planning and working towards it that can occur.
It sounds like your husband is confused, alot of men have not been educated of these things earlier in life but some of us have. I have 3 elder sisters who have all been pregnant a few times and a mother who's had two children since I was of an understanding age. It's gonna be hard for a man who has not had that sort of advantage.
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