Pregnant Girlfriend Hates Me

10 Replies
anthony bush - February 17

so we been goin out for 5 years now and the relationship has been good and i mean realy good! we both know were in a good relationship the trust is there aswell, we rarley argue about anything and when we do we sort it straight away because its not our thing we all ways get allong and have a laugh. we have a little girl that is 18 months old and we both love her to bits. recently we fount out she was pregnant(6/7 weeks) and she said she didn't want to keep the baby she knows i want to keep the baby but i have no rights in this. we have had s_x twice in the past month were its usualy every day or every two days just lately shes telling me she just wants to be left alone she says she does love me and isnt going behind my back i believe her but she also says she dosnt like being horrible to me but she cannot help it theres also been talk of seperating becuase its not working out but i think thats on my back because i keep asking her whats arong and do you still love me and want to be with me... i just need some advice from someone that knows about hormones and how they work

 

anthony bush - February 17

just wanted to add that in my mind i know its just the hormones but my feelings are killing me right now and just wanted to talk to some one about this. thanks for listening to me ramble on. Anthony Bush...

 

Francois - February 19

Hi Anthony Hormones sometimes can become demons. I know, I went through a similar experience. Fortunately my wife seldom made really hurtful remarks, but her mood and looks said much more. So I thought of things I could do to make things better. I threw all my professional knowledge as a counselor, my experience and my business knowledge about natural health together to find a couple of things I could do. Here is what I found and what worked for us: First - be patient. Pregnancy lasts only for 9 months, of which one and a half is already done. Then some time after the birth, a woman's hormones return to normal. Secondly - support her. She most likely despises herself for saying nasty things and for wanting to let the baby go. She is feeling terrible and she is crying for solutions. Not wanting to keep the baby and you two separating seems to be somewhat of an solution. When she just come to think of it, she'll realize that it won't make things better. At this stage she is not completely her normal self, she's acting different that two months ago. Rea__sure her of your love and support. Do this by telling her with words and by showing it to her in your actions. Look for some things that cause stress and solve it where ever you can. Also take some of the household chores on your shoulders, such as doing the laundry or cooking. Thirdly - don't make things worse. Stay away from blaming her, nagging her or making accusations. These three things made a huge difference to make things better for Rosemarie while she was pregnant. But what I believe made the biggest difference was that we made effort to improve Rosemarie's health in a natural way. The way I understand it, is that our nervous systems regulate our emotions. There are certain nutrients that feed the nervous system. If there are deficiencies in these nutrients, the emotions goes haywire. On top of trying to eat balanced and healthy, we supplemented her diet with Herbalife's supplements. She drank the shake, multivitamin, Fiber and Herb, the omega 3 supplement (Herbalifeline) and a Chinese herb call Tang Kuei. We went to buy it and she drank double of everything except the shake. The next day, I noticed some improvements already. The other thing regarding her health is that we resumed a old habit we had earlier. We go for an hour walk every weekday. One researcher said that exercise gives an immediate lift. Here's a final word of encouragement. Do everything possible to keep your relationship strong and stable. I know that the pain of broken families do heal, but prevention is better than cure. If you decide to follow some of what Rosemarie and I did, please let me know later on how things are. Francois

 

anthony bush - February 22

so we decided it will be best if i go stay at my parents house for a couple weeks i know this will last longer, but she does seem heppier, i feel pyhsicaly sick to the stomach i cant eat or sleep not knowing if i'll ever return home to the way things were. she tells me that she truly loves me and that i am deffiently coming home and would never cheat on me. i know its just a time thing i need to be patient, the thing is i cannot concentrate on work at the moment and to take time off would help alot but i'ld be losing money i still have bills to pay. i just dont know what to do...

 

Francois - February 22

Anthony, Hang in there buddy, hang tight. Things will return to normal, pregnancy hormones is temporarily. One thing that Rosemarie and I talked about afterward, was why she picked on me and was calm and polite with everyone else. Turned out that she were frustrated and needed a place to let off steam. The only place where she felt safe enough to do that was at home. She meant nothing personal, but I wouldn't judge her for her nastiness. We both realized that we can wait it out or we can do something about it. That's why we decided to go for natural solutions to make things better. What I also suggest that you do is to focus on your own health. When your body functions better, you will cope with these hectic feelings easier. Here is my suggestions (which you can take or leave): Supplement with a good quality omega 3 - it nourishes the nervous system and brain. It help with communication between nervous ends, blood circulation, amongst others. Personally we use Herbalife's Herbalifeline. Supplement with Tang Kuei. It's a Chinese herb that helps with stress. Herbalife also has a product with the same name - Tang Kuei. I use another Herbalife product to help me concentrate - NRG. This is made from a Amazon root. If you are still at your parents' place, I would strongly encourage you to go back home, as soon as today. This time is not only difficult for you, it's also difficult for your girlfriend. Although both of you need other people to support you, you need each other more. Come here and complain and search for answers and get support and so on - then go home and love your family to pieces. Maybe you can take an hour off at work and focus on how to improve your health. Use that time to make positive progress. You'll feel a lot better when you feel that you've achieved something towards making things better. This is how you build momentum. Keep me posted, will you? I love my family and I want to share the things that threatened us and how we got around it.

 

anthony bush - February 22

i'll keep you posted francois, thank you for your input its very much appriciated.

 

anthony bush - February 23

forgot to mention that ever since she was 13-14 years of age she had been looking after her disabled grandma, her gran had pasted away 2 years ago not long after she caught pregnant with out little girl who is now 18 months old, i think she feels asthough she has missed out alot on her childhood and now that our little girl is going nursery a couple times aweek its a bit off freedom for her to go out and see friends... she started going out into town once a month since january(went out with her brother). i feel asthough she just wants to be single and enjoy life because she has missed out on so much, surely she cannot be thinking a break up would solve this i mean it isnt my fault she has been through that. my girlfriend decided to open the bottle and tell her family about the abortion and now she feels alot better for it but tells me shes still not ready for me to come home yet. we went for a scan last tuesday and told us that we would have to come back in a couple more weeks because they could'nt hear the heart beat (wich i think its just a waste of governmant money). we have to go back next tuesday for another scan, but if they say the same thing again i think im just going to have to tell them that we are 100% certain that we want to go through with the procedure. sorry if this dosnt make any sense to you at all my head is so many different places right now. thanks again.

 

Francois - February 23

Hi Sorry to hear that she's still stuck on the idea of an abortion. It's something I don't want to go through. Friends of mine did, and I don't want to be in their shoes. I see their longing and regret. Their son, who came later, didn't fill up that empty spot. Having time on her own or with her friends is a good thing. You can even help with that. During the day, while your girl is at school, she can come and go as she wishes. Maybe you can make an arrangement that you look after your girl one night a week and let your gf visit her friends. We do that. Rosemarie loves shopping. Sometimes Mary-Ann goes along, sometimes she stays with me. Remember, pregnancy is not for ever. The hormones won't make her confused and scared for the rest of her life. Whatever decisions you make, keep the long term picture in mind and how this decision will affect your future.

 

anthony bush - March 19

Unfortunetly the procedure has been done over a week now I am upset about this. We split up a couple weeks befor this. Gradualy the hormones went away and we got back together on a say by Monday her hormones had slowly come back and again there's talk again of spliting up, all o hear is if it dosnt work out we still need to be friends for our daughter Wich is very hard to hear, she cannot say love you she gets frustrated when I go to kiss her befor I go work, she says she cannot help hating me and have some sort of serious hatred towarda me she says she dosnt mean it, it's just how she feels. I just want all this to clear up so we can get back to our normal lifes. I'm back at home with the girlfriend and do not plan on going back to my parents because of this hormone thing. How long does it usualy take for the homones to get back to there usual state ? Or could they stay like this for ever ? Just want my love back, when I moved back in she could not stop saying how sorry she was and cuddling me and just being her usual self and now it's done a 180 on me again....... Please help

 

anthony bush - March 19

Sorry for my punctuation it's very late here, and I'm very tired yet I cannot sleep.... I just want her to be back to normal but feels asthoug it will never go away, when I look at her it's as if she is possed by a demon!...

 

Francois - March 21

Hi Anthony I'm so sorry to hear about the abortion. It's definitely not something I want to go through. It might be possible that the hormones still plays a role in her behavior. On top of that there could be a lot of 'other' emotional factors. Possible emotions could be guilt, shame, anger, regret, realized what happened, etc. These feelings is more a__sociated to the trauma of abortion than the post-pregnancy hormones. To a lot of women, abortion is traumatic and it does influenced their lives. When coping with trauma, some people get over it without professional help, others get over it faster with professional help. So these are the two factors that might influence her behavior - hormonal and traumatic. Then there is another level, which you also mentioned - a spiritual level. For me as a Christian, who messed around on various levels of occultism in my youth, demonic possession is very real. I experienced it myself, but I got free of these things. This is one level where I definitely needed help - Jesus Christ's help. If she is possessed, there is salvation in Jesus Christ. He made me, my wife and a couple of friends free from demonic possession. I literally owe Him my life. Back on the level of trauma and hormones, below are two links to a website that might be helpful. (OK, the website moderation didn't allow me to post links.) It is set up by a woman who went through a abortion herself. She describe stuff like the phases of recovery after an abortion, how men are affected and more. The website is called after abortion (in one word) with the dot com extension at the back. Go to the faq page and the 'for men and relatives' page. It's a lot of reading, but it's very comprehensive and useful (I think) info. Another 180 is possible, back (or close to) what it was before. Cure is always possible, please don't give up on your girlfriend, yourself and your relationship. Regards, Francois

 

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