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I am glad someone else is going through it. I thought my husband was the only one that's nasty as hell. Any time I want a cuddle, intimacy, or even a "Hello Melissa" Joel's usually snoring his head off, adding more to the chaos. And when he does respond it's normally something crazy because he's dreaming about being at work. I am proud of him for working so much and being supportive but he doesn't understand money isn't everything. Sometimes a family needs support to know they are still loved.

This is a very controversial topic.I have some opinions of my own.My husband , for our first baby got up every night feeding baby after i stopped b___stfeeding. Changed his nappies , said i deserved some rest after being pregnant.My son is turning 3 in Oct. and he has an AWESOME relationship with his daddy. I never forced the issue.They bath together , play together. I work half day and my husband has flexi hours. So we get to spend some great quality time together.I think , if woman stopped demanding so much of their husbands , they will get the required result. Is it not true that your relationship is not going too well , look at yourself? Instead of focussing on the negative "He does nothing!!' blah blah blah plonk! Focus on what he IS doing for you! He is putting food on the table .Men ARE different to woman.Treat them as such. Treat them with respect. ,make the home a place he wants to be at. Not a threatening environment. A mother sets the mood of the house. this is sooooo important! Its not always sunshine and roses at my home , but we constantly work at things.Stop being so bloody negative and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. You can only chnge yourself.Im 23 , happily married and blessed with a great husband and son. Life is great. Enjoy what you have!!!

I totally agree with you Preggo. That's so sad for Erica to a__sume that since her situation is perfect that everyone else has no reason to complain. And we are doing something about it. Sometimes just knowing that other women are sharing the experience makes it somehow easier to live in. As for me, my son is going through his terrible twos and I have to constantly stay after him for screaming and destroying everything. Then when my husband is home he just wants to sleep, as I posted before. So yeah I feel neglected. And I have tried talking to him about it, as you have tried talking to your husband. I have also told my husband if the three of us are such a ha__sle in his life, we could exit as quickly as we entered. And this was after months and months of sweetly explaining how I felt about things. Also I picked up after him and allowed him to get by without doing his chores (dishes, cat box, and garbage--big deal). Now I am at 39 weeks and I am not sure I should even tell him when I go into labor--forbid that I take away some of his precious sleep! He knows I cry constantly but he thinks it's just hormones instead of the way he makes me feel. So I know what you are going through--even if some close minds don't. And to Erica, seriously stop being an a__s. Be thankful for what you have but sympathetic for those of us that aren't so fortunate instead of being a b___h about it.

Just something quick. In conflicts, MOST OF THE TIME, each party is at fault in some way. It's just a matter of putting down your own pride, realizing your other half is feeling the exact same way as you are, and do something constructive about it instead of holding it all inside or arguing constantly about it. You'll find yourself in a seperation or worse, divorce over something that could be fixed simply by realizing you BOTH have needs and need suck up your pride and do something about it.

go alyssa! you rock.

i did not mean to sound prissy. I was tryinh to get a a very valid point across , but i guess it across very ...uuhhmm...nasty? It was not intended in that way. I have had my fair share of problems. Believe me. But i chose to do something about it. I was making myself and my family depressed. Its quiite strange how it worked out , coz as soon as i took the pressure off my husband to change it happened naturally. I think we have a very obscure picture in our heads what marriage is about. What the role of a husband and father is.What our role is. Guys can be pigs. I know. They aren't naturally loving and considerate. But as humans , that is a common trait , dont you think? But giving each other the benefit of the dount , could result in something positive and refreshing. Im going away for a weekend with my girlfriend. Just us. My husband said it was ok. But if he put up a fuss , i would have gone anyway. Why? Because , how can i pour into my family if i dont pour into myself first? It makes sense that you cannot give what you dont have. So , force the situation a bit. Pamper yourself , if your hubby is not going to do it. Give the message across that you care about yourself enough to do something for yourself. Its harsh to hear , but we teach people how to treat us. Our children , colleagues , friends , and yes , those aliens from mars called HUSBANDS. And because you have no control over whether or not your husband is going to change , you can only look at the person staring back in the mirror. Look after yourself. There is NOTHING wrong with being selfish from time to time. Hope this makes more sense than the first mail...

Erica, I absolutly agree with you! Only thing I want to correct, you saying about selfishness... I don't think this is a right word, I think it is self respect. If you don't respect your self: who will ?! And our men looked at us this way too! If you think you are good wife: be one, but don't forget about yourself: give yourself time to rest during the day, while your baby asleep too, if you don't get enough at night, and even if you have to do a lot of "home staff" you'll see how fast and how much you can do for less time, but well rested. Our men are tired too. They are different from us, women, I can see on my dh that he cann't think of anythink after work, and I've read about this: men's brain works spiciffic hours during the day with whole power and then its stops untill man gets enough rest, but women's brain is working 24/7!!! without rest, that is why we can see more dreams, than men! Well, it is a little bit a science, but it helped me to understand the difference between man and woman and WORK out my marriage. My dh read it too, later, when he asked what happen to me ( I stopped to push him..) You have to find the way TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! Its could be a different way than us, but there is some for you only! Do something for that!!!( not just washing dishes or cleaning hous well ;-)) And you'll see reaction back from your man! No body said that to keep marriage and grow together is easy! If he doesn't make step forward: you do, and do it untill you get his attantion. It is not going to take long, believe me, Iebeen there... Just get rest first, b/c it helps to think better. Good luck to you all!

i understand yall work my husband thought he would stay home and take care of 3 kids under 3 he thought it was easier so i went to work and he stayed his b___t at home not even one week he was beggin to go back to work he is a dieseal mec so ohhhhhhhhhhh you got to work 10 hrs poor baby i rather work my point is ur not the only ones who need a break by the way when your pregnant you can not even sneeze or pee will go runnin down ur leg so u have no idea how it feels so until u get into a women's postion shut up

to bobby....50 hrs a week....try multiplying 24 by 7. Thats a little harder..and also...i applaud you for being such a hard worker..alot of men don't work like that but if u think watching a 2 year old is easy...better guess again...when my husband would get home from work..he would act as if i had been lying around all day doing nothing...well..if nothing consists of laundry, grocery schopping, runnings errands..carrying his 2nd child and managing our 6 month old baby while going to school...then i definitely did nothing. Well, once again.. i can see that you are a hard worker and want to provide for your family but remember..a motherr;s job is 24 hours a day..7 days a week. She is tired and achy too and would love to just flop down on the couch nd do nothing,. A mother can't just clock out of being a mother. And motherhood is labor...especially being pregnant or with small children.

Hey Preggo....you know what the problem is? Your hubby is a whiney baby. Not only that, you have let him become that. He is a big boy, he can cook for himself. Starvation will probably be a good motivator. I have been on both sides of this fence- I have 7 daughters and I worked nights AND took care of the kids durring the day while my preg. wife worked her b___t off. If I acted like your husband, I would have been laughed right out of the house, and would have deserved it. I think most men are very considerate of their preg. wives...there are just some real dogs out there. Your husband is one of them. Oh, and before I stop, there are some super whiney, lazy ladies out there too. I have meet them...think just because they have had a child they can use that as an excuse for EVERYTHING. To them, I say "whaaaa" - try having 7 kids in 9 years. My wife NEVER complained about how over-worked she was(and she was), nor did I...it was just the way things were.

threads like these make me appreciate even more how f*ckin fabulous my husband is. Also, let's me know all my studying in college wasn't in vain.

Bobby, I understand your complaints, however my hubby is also in construction and he gets many days off! Especially when it is raining, snowing ect... I bet you also have the weekends off? Am I right? you have days to yourself and Mom needs days to herself! In all honesty I feel that you could be more loving to yor wife and less negative to her needs. Why did you fall in love and marry her anyway, think back! I am sure she has the same wonderful qualities and if something ever happened to her you will eat all these terrible things you say about her! You never kow when life will end, so treat her with respect and may she treat you with respect as well. I pray that Christ will bless your marriage and your children, take care.

You left no room for anyone else to speak BRAVO ! you are exactly right about everything . Anyone who even tries to attempt talking around what you said would have to be some real kind of whiner . But Tim and wife Take some time for yourselves this world isn't supposed to be about the first one to the grave is the winner .

Ok, i gotta put my two cents in here......I agree with both sides. My hubby has always had a manual job and he was always achking in pain. BUT me being sellfish i always say...come on iam pregnant you should do your share of the work and this and that....and one day my hubby explained to me his work and braught me and showed me how hard it was. i kinda was shocked and understood why we wanted to come home and sit down for half an hour. He had it tough...eventhough iam now pregnant again and i have 2 toddlers at home PLUS i babysite 4 fulltime toddlers too. We still try to find common ground. i try not to be so b___hy about everything he isnt doing. in return...he makes sure he atleast clean the kitty littler everyday and always gives the kids a bath. Amd he also tries to make the bed before he leaves for work. And on sunday's i get my morning to sleep in and i dont get up until the kids are dressed/fed. And the house is somewhat cleaned up. And on my end..i try to have his lunch ready when he comes home for lunch break, and i have a homecooked meal ready to for supper (always havethough) and i try not to be so demanding with his time after he's done work, we came to conclusion that the kids have to be put in pyja/bath and in their bedroom by no later 7:15pm. Wether they sleep or not, they eventually fall asleep and they have some alone time togther and the play. And its the alone time for me and hubby. I always also bothered him to bring me shopping (only one car, and i have no liscence, and out in the country) and we agreed that we do that on his day off on tuesdays' or sundays (his other day off) and we are doing much better, iam not as demanding and he gives back in return. Although if i do ask for him to make supper cause iam too tired and soar he will gladly do it,....proving i take out what i want him to make. So all of you woman...try to find common ground with hubby...give in exchange to receive....my hubby appreciates that i dont complain anymore and everything so much better. And you man....also try to find a common ground...off your wife/girlsfriend to take over one shore that she hates doing, and actually try not forget to do it.

I too agree with both sides..I am 34 weeks pregnant with our first child.My husband works but he also helps on his days off and i appreciate all he does for me or atleast his effort.There are times when i am extremely cranky and tend to snap i know my husband needs time to himself and he gets just that when he gets home from work and on his days off i get my time as to where he helps and does the things i can't do.Pregnancy by no means is easy i rarely get any sleep at night and during the day it's dishes,cleaning,mopping,sweeping, cooking and laundry among other various things,i feel that when he's at work he's not in my way or going behind me making messes for me to clean up it gives me time to do the things i need to do before he gets home and you can imagine at 34 weeks i'm very huge and also very tired.When he gets home he knows the house is clean and he can relax with me and does'nt mind rubbing my back or doing the dinner dishes.On his days off those are the days that he does the things i can't do i.e mow gra__s,put together the baby bed etc. and in exchange for his help he gets to kick back and relax as well,I appreciate my husband for his helping hands on his days off and he appreciates me for knowing how hard he works during the day and having the house tended to when he gets home so we both can enjoy and relax because we both know we've worked hard to do so during the day.I know all relationships are diffrent as well as couples some do help and others don't..Marriage is a 50/50 deal..and don't get me wrong we do have our issues..LOL but what would a marriage be without them.I'm not saying this to start arguements or to be lashed out against..this is only my opinion please don't take it to heart but i feel as though if you have time to be on the internet posting you have time to take a nap,read a chapter in a book or relax..men who are posting could be helping out their wives/girlfriends doing a load of laundry,dishes,back rub or taking other children if you have any out to the park or playing in the yard so mommy gets a break to shower,relax or do whatever she likes for 30-60 min.Anyhow i wish you all well and have healthy babies.

i'd just like to say from a woman's standpoint.never and i do mean never has my day ended after 10 hours work.50 hours a week sounds tuff.try being a working mom who puts in 46 hours a week AND comes home to cook ,clean,wash clothes,cook dinner,feed kids,bath kids.wash dishes,etc. the list goes forever.while your hard working man wears out his fore finger on the d__n remote.because his precious hard day's work is over?????ok i can understand we all get tired .but just don't cry at night when someone wants a little excitement in the bedroom and finds a sleeping wife instead.geesh i wish all i had to do was work 50 hours.