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You should give her an ultimatum. Tell her that you will divorce her unless she gets an abortion. Having a baby you don't want will make you resent both the baby and your wife and it will ruin your life. Also it was silly to get married without discussing kids first, but it's too late to do anything about that.

OMG! Did you not read the last sentence? He said WITHOUT hurting the baby! Anyway thanks, you guys should try to do counseling. Getting everything out in the open may help things. If not you may want to try getting the baby mind-set. Once it's here I am sure that even if you resent your wife you will have much love for your baby. Speaking of which what did you guys do? Now if you kept it she should be around 6 months or so.

Hmm, well if he and wife do not want to have an abortion (which would really be the easiest option) they could always give the kid up for adoption. I know a lot of people a__sume that if you're married you just accept a baby but you don't have to do that. You can choose whether you want to keep the baby or not. I'm adopted and my birthmother found two wonderful parents for me because she knew she wasn't ready for a kid. OP you can make the samw choice, and give your kid parents that both really him.

It does sound like she decided to have the child without your consent. She obviously did it on purpose, whether she admits it or not. You definitely need to undergo marriage counseling if you want to make this work. As for the kid having divorced parents, it is better for the kid to have parents who are happy and divorced than miserable and married. Either way your wife was wrong in doing what she did. You are partners, not a one way dictatorship. Good luck in deciding what to do.

What a travesty. Anyone who understands the impact a child has on one's economic, social and life opportunities can see how this woman's act is akin to murder. Children who grow up with resentful parents tend to (fill in the blank). Of course childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the act perpetrated by this womn is flat out disgusting adn selfish, and now 2 people will suffer. Make lemonade? That is exactly what this manipulative woman was counting on.

its going to be a new year. let go of your anger . she was wrong to do it. but she must love you enough to want to be apart of u you .........put a little love in your heart. and the world will be a better place.......................... let it go enjoy the baby.peace to all

Grow up and act like a grown man. So, she tricked you. You are married and have been together for five years. All you need to do is modify your plans. At the age of "mid-30's" a woman's clock is ticking pretty loud. I guess she took it upon herself to make her decision about a baby. Just get over it and be a father and a husband. Even by your mid-30's your fertility goes down by a large percentage. Trust me, I just go pregnant with our 3rd and this time it took us 4 years to get pregnant. I am 32!

Jennifer and Tiffany, thank you for validating my thoughts with your incredibly selfish responses. It takes TWO PEOPLE ON THE SAME PAGE to bring a human life into this world? Clock ticking? Lord help us all...

Looks like this was posted in May. I am sure they either have a baby already, or will soon. Let's hope they got over it and worked things out.

i think that you are looking at this very one sided. yes she tricked you and that was wrong. so confront her and tell her how you feel. but as far as the child you loved her enough to marry her and having a child is great. yes it may change your plans for a few years but not for life. she can still finish school....(i did) and you two can still travel. you might have to modify where you go or activities you do there but you can still go. and once you see this child your priorities change and you may see how happy this child makes you and not want to travel just to enjoy every minute of this child life.

Sadly, I too have recently been fooled in a similar fashion. My wife and I are 29, and had been together for several years before getting married last June. It has not yet been a year since our marriage, and although we had previously discussed in depth our plans to have children in the future, she too went and 'tricked' me into having a baby. She stopped taking 'the pill' without informing me, and made no effort to alert me of the scenario when we were having s_x. Long story short, she got pregnant, I found out about her deception, and yet she doesn't seem to appreciate the gravity of the situation. It is bad enough she breached my trust, and an agreement we had set for the future, but furthermore, she doesn't realize that her selfish decision to deceive me will ultimately reflect on the well-being of the child, if it is born. Currently, we are both struggling even to feed our own selves, let alone a baby, we have bills piled knee-high, and we both have (had?) plans to further our education and secure more stable careers before starting a family. My wife maintains that we can "get through it", but that is hardly the issue. In my eyes, and even in the eyes of family and friends, just "getting through it" doesn't cut the mustard. Primarily, the issue at hand is trust. My wife brached our trust; just as your wife breached the trust you thought you had between you and her. This is likely only the first stepping stone of what is to come, and the chances are high that if she feels no regret for having deceived you even in light of such a serious situation, the smaller obstacles in life down the road will be easy for her to lie to you about without conscience. Explain to her how you feel, and if she is responsive to your concerns, then it may be worth working out. Chances are, however, she will try to defend herself and her actions, often attempting to turn the situation around on you to make you feel as though YOU are to blame. Don't let this affect you, you are fighting not only for your own rights, but also for a far more noble cause; that being the life of another innocent human being. It is WRONG for your wife to a__sume you are "ready" to have a child with her without first consulting you, regardless of whether or not you have "discussed it" in the past. It is even more wrong for her to act on her own selfish feelings of wanting a kid, all the meanwhile neglecting to consider the prospective welfare of the child in the future. I wonder just how well the child would react at age 18 once he/she learned that the reason he/she had to eat balogne sandwiches for school lunches and wear 2nd hand clothes all his/her life was because mommy didn't give a toot about daddy or the family situation and went ahead and had a child anyway simply because she wanted to. That would go over about as well as a man explaining to his kid that the reason life is so rough was due to the fact that he gambled the family savings away because he felt "lucky" .. Often women try to blame their "internal clock" for tricking their hubbies into having children. That is horsec___p. The so-called "internal clock" is no more than a woman's way of trying to keep up with the Jones': "Martha has a kid, then so should I", or "I will have a kid before Sally", yaddayaddayadda... No, folks, acts like this cannot be excused. A woman who lies, is deceptive, and fools their partner into getting them pregant is a very selfish individual. Whether divorce is the answer or not is not somthing I know, as both staying with or leaving your deceptive wife can have adverse effects on the development of the child, and ultimately, the well being of the child should be the primary concern here. The sad truth of the matter is, no child should be born to suffer as a result of a selfish parent. No child will benefit from having parents who are unhappy with one another and stay together simply "for the sake of the kids". Kids are people too, and they aren't dumb, don't expect to be able to fool them. Think this through HARD, having children when ill-prepared to so so could potentially become a nightmare that will prepetuate for generations to come.

well i think what she did was sneaky but she may have really forgot speaking from a life experiance of my best friend who is now 61/2 months pregnant and did not plan her pregnancy she stopped taking the pill she told her boyfriend and he forgot my point is, is that now they are not together and he accuses her of trying to trap him which is completly not true and very hurtful to her and unfortunatly their baby has to grow up with seperated parents what im trying to say is it was a c___ppy thing to do but when you see that baby for the first time the feeling of love that you feel is overwhelming like nothing that you ever thought that you were capable of feeling and if you love your wife and youve been together that long try to get through it with her and just because you have a baby dosent mean you cant finish school or travel bringing a life into this world is one of the biggest accomplishments of your life and when the baby gets here you will never belive that you went all this time without him/her goodluck and i hope things workout for the best

If you stop taking the pill and continue having s_x you ARE planning a pregnancy. Jackie, your friend should just have an abortion, just like the original poster's wife should have done. Bringing babies into the world when you are not prepared to care for them financially OR emotionally is stupid and cruel.

Having a late abortion is stupid & cruel. You shouldn't suggest to anyone into having an abortion if they're already 6 1/2 months along.

You are right, six and a half months is a little late to have an abortion. Later term abortions are riskier for the mother. It's too bad Jackie's friend was too stupid to get the morning after pill or to get an abortion 3 months ago when it would have been easy. I feel so sorry for her poor boyfriend who has to pay for her idiotic mistake.

Hi thanks, I am so sorry that you have came acroos one of these females but there are so many out there out to trap a man. Females even have the intensions on one night stands and all the guy wants is s_x and she wants to become pregnant. Anyway i dont blame you for feeling the way you do you have all the rights in the world. She did'nt forget as you said she rememberd for 5 years. To answer your question do you think she could ever rebuild your trust? And would this be the only thing that will be makiing you want a divorce? If you can begin to trust her and and it is the only thing that has or is coming between you see then try to work at it. I come from a broken home and to tell you cause my parents both had chips on the shoulder i could not wait for them to split. I belive never stay with somone for the kids cause the if you do split later and say well i only stayed with her cause of you kids(my parents did that) then they feel as though they are to blame. I could say more but i wont so i hope this helps.