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Dont sign the papers. If you want a part in your childs life, you have a right to be there, whether she wants that or not. Make her take you to court, then stand up for your relationship with your daughter. I wish you the best.

Hey Jeff, I'm sorry things turned out this way...Since you plan to pay child support anyway, can't you use that as leverage? What I mean is, maybe you can come to an agreement with her (some kind of signed binding doc_ment) outside of court that would satisfy the both of you. After all, you are living in Australia and she can't really force you to pay up, so this could allow you to make some demands. What's an AVO?

Interesting story Jeff. y You got some good advice from this forum. Congratulations on u baby girl. Where did that Red hair come from?( I hope you got checked for diseases after this, god who knows.)...sorry just had to say that. It sounds like your gf and you should get married and start your own life together, do it right, show the law/courts and ministry's who the most stable. Courts are all for whats , "in the best intrest for the child." If you want to raise your daughter , you must try for her..your her only chance for a good life...:).......moma doesnt sounds so stable Does her mother have a job? how is she suppose to raise the baby? Can you retake that test... different clinic perhaps, hmm i question your paternity. If you are,.... you sound like you care about her,and your gf should help you raise her....get a good lawyer, get a loan what ever..legal aid if you have that..I am from Canada and lots of dad 's get their kids. "mine included"... 2 out of 3..:( .....different situtation, I paid big time for my rights as a mother..I hurt everyday that m kids are away.. fight for your little girl..... Be her daddy....... good luck.....J

Ranya, an AVO is an apprehensive violence order. But i read over it yesterday and it was actually an Interim Intervention Order. Its not in place anymore, it was only for the remainder of the pregnancy, but still, it will be on my record. and in her claim she said that i a__saulted her and claimed that my girlfriend did too. Also over here, we are FORCED to pay child support. I had the a__sesment forms sennt to me before the test was even done. And a new set sent to me this week. to whoa, i would love to marry my girl but i dont want HER or anyone else to think that its just because it will make all this easier. The baby is living with her mum and grandmother. But from what we have heard the grandmother is raising her. Although i have no proof of that its just wat has been said by her friends. cos apparently she has moved in with the latest boyfriend. And no she doesnt have a job, she has applied for the single mother pension, but she cant get that now that i have been proved to be the father, which means i will probably be paying an arm and a leg in child support, although i dont care cos i would never want to screw over my daughter, but i do not belive for a second that she will actually spend the money on my baby. She spent the baby bonus that the government gives you here ($3000) on the downpayment for a car!!!! and some new clothes! Unfortunately i do not qualify for legal aid, as i am working, and she is not, so as the "single unemployed mother" SHE is ent_tled it, which is probably why she is so determined to take me throught the courts. I dont know what i am going to do. but i have until this thursday to decide :/ i cant believe that people can be so spiteful and damaging when it comes to children and the relationships with their parents.

Well divorce will make people you have lived with for so long become total strangers, in my case my ex's obsession with greed and control took my famliy...... I am still in court fighting for my rights, that I already fought for.... and paid 2500.00 to have writen on a court order. I feel for your little girl. and you. I hope you will be the stable parent and do what you can to be a part of her life.. I thought you wand your girl where trying to have a baby thats why I duggested marrage.. not to push her into anything...Mothers like your ex. should have thier tubes tied.. you watch she will be prego in no time again with the next Bf,, she should come with a warning sign......too bad you cant get legal aid..Hmm is there any way you can just give the money for the baby. like in certificates for groceries?? or cloths .. rather then cash to spend on her self..or buy it your self and show her the reciets? that would make you feel better.. well good luck....Jen

Jeff, is there anyway to get proof that she's spending the money you sent her on herself instead of the baby? Or that the grandmother is raising the child? Or that she's now living with a new boyfriend? Are you and your gf prepared to raise and take care of this baby girl? You definitely need to find an ally in the US and maybe fight for custody.

Ranya, i havnt sent her any money yet, but in australia the government gives a $3000 baby bonus grant to mothers when they have a baby. I cant get proof unless i want to hire someone and get them to investigate cos i do not live near her, nor do we even speak, everytime i try to talk, it ends up with her complaining to the police saying i threatend her which is all lies. her friends are the only way to get any idea of what is going on and none of them will talk to me anymore cos they belive their friends lies. I was thinking of seeing if i could pay my child support into a trust fund or something for the baby so she can have it herself when she is older.... but i dont think that will work cos her mother will fight it to the death! to whoa. We arent TRYING to have a child, we did conceive, which wasnt planned but was VERY welcomed but she misscarried. I would love to marry her and start our own family, but at only 21, and with everything going on at the moment i think i should wait. i would hate to have my gf go thru all the stress and court cases coming up while she was pregnant. i want to wait til we can have ALL our concentration on our new family.. not while it is being diverted to this. I agree about girls like her having their tubes tied, but she is only 18 now. She was pregnant and had the baby at 17. We were not married, it was a stupid mistake to sleep with her so quickly, i was interested in seeing her until i discovered she was sleeping around!!! its an all to familiar story over in australia these days tho. Girls that young sleeping with EVERYONE and having children to multiple people. (im not saying the guys dont do it too, i wasnt "sleeping around' she was the second person i ever slept with and i seriuosly regret it. and i know i shouldnt have!!!) I think, that for now, the best thing i can do is sign the order that she wants, except ask for visitation . maybe if i keep her happy and let her think she has the power then she mite back off a little? Thanks guys for ur opinions and help!

sorry i never realised you where so young. you sounded more mature then your years.. good luck in your life.. whoe is out.....

hi jeff, i am from australia, she cant stop u seeing ur baby if u want too. As a parent u have rights. My partner is divorced and he went to court to be able to see his kids once a fortnite, he isnt rich and he did it, there has to be a way, i can ask him if u like. She sounds awful and i am so sorry for u that u met her, she is a nitemare on 2 legs. You are beyond mature for ur age and i am sorry u have had to grow up even faster and have to deal with such a situation, all the best jeff

this is a really sad story

Well theres alot that has happened, but i will update you all on it later, for now i was just wondering if anyone knows any "paternal rights" that i have and what are reasonable requests for me to make. the lawyer told me i have to make a list of what i want from her... but i dont know what i am ENTITLED to ask for. can anyone help? i am asking to have an equal roll in decision making. that she can not move the baby overseas or interstate without my permissoin, that she agrees not to alientate myself or my gf to our baby. and that she contact ME only not my family (she rocked up on their door step without notice last week and they werent home and is now tryin to get me done for "child abuse" or "neglect" saying i left my daughter locked out in 30 degree heat... I DONT EVEN LIVE THERE!!!) but yeh.. are there any other things that i am ent_tled to ask for involving my little girl? keeping in mind that atm she is only 4mths old. i understand it would be unreasonable to ask for overnigh stays etc as she is being b___st fed. thank you all.

can you please ask your husband how he went about it adn what sorts of things he was ent_tled to as a father. i am totally new at the father thing and i dont have a clue about it. and the place where i got my legal advice did not explain things well to me at all. thankyou

Hi, I have been sat here reading through this incredible and sad story and I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for everything that you and your lovely partner have had to go through. I honestly wish I could help you or give you some advice, you seem such a decent man. Keep us updated. I really hope that things go well for you - if there is a god I hope he looks out for you too ! x

I think you just caught her in a lie because if she is really b___stfeeding, then why does the baby live with the grandmother and her with her boyfriend. I really doubt she goes to see the baby everytime she is hungry to b___stfeed. What do they feed the baby at night?

I asked her the same thing. but i just keep getting mixed stories. first she said she takes the baby with her to her boyrfiends. and then she said the boyfriend is staying with her at her mums and her grandmother keeps an eye on her when she is too "busy" . i dont know. im so tired of trying to find the truth. cant trust her.

Hi Jeff, I am sorry i havent actually asked him yet because he walked out on us 2 weeks ago saying there is no spark or intimacy, its quite a story but when the going gets tough he always gets going, its a pattern... anyhow regarding ur situation i wish it didnt have to be like that for you, it comes down to the chic being a cow cause i allow pat here anytime he likes to see our daughter, he'd come everyday if he could, like he is next coming fri nite and saturday and i wish u were in the position to have that freedom with that cow who has made ur life a misery, he may have not been working at the time he went to court regarding his kids so therefore he got legal aid, i will ask him though and im sorry i havent yet as u can well imagine its been the last thing on my mind, he's here fri nite to visit, today is wed so i will ask him then and get back to you.. in the meantime be good to ur current partner as im sure u are and life is very short jeff and know that this chic will get hers back and i dont doubt it may be her current boyfriend who hurts her in no time at all, i doubt he is gonna stick around and help her for long with a baby when its not his, they are hard work and regarding the overnite stays b___st fed or not remember u are dealing with a baby and my partner or ex now isnt having her overnite, they are too little jeff and its too overwhelming at this age for a baby but again he is welcome anytime here u know and i spoke to the health nurse and she said courts are very slow with a baby like u cant just have weekend access on a fortnitely basis, its a slow process, you should be able to see her though and again i will ask him when i see him... til next time, ally