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There is a difference if OTHER people are looking at either one of you.. than YOU looking at other people. So what if people look at you or your wife. Thats their problem. Yet, you or your wife looking at other people is a different issue. Can't compare~!!! That wasn't a good point.

I did not say it was exactly the same thing. My point is, my wife doesn't likes me looking at other people, I don't like her making a show for other people, she says I need to change my behaviour but she says she won't change her's. If she thinks its OK for her to be an exhibitionist what is wrong with me looking at other exhibitionist? I understand that p___n is not only about exhibitionism but there is a good portion of it.

p___n makes me feel like "is that what you want in a woman?" but that doesnt mean thats what it is... i feel that its better than if my man were to cheat on me or even think about it... p___n isnt a real person, once you get off you dont even think about it anymore... watch away... its in a mans nature to want to look at other women, i give the men that only look my upmost respect! besides... my pregnant body isnt what i used to be, and i know thats not only hard on me, but its different for my man, too... even though he knows i'll probably bounce back... its hard for him to picture

its funny because if a guy found all these naked guys on your computer, etc. he would freak out. Saying, "what is this" and get all jealous.. So, its not just woman that get upset with men.. they do too!!! When you are in a committed relationship you should only look at one another naked. If your man needs something to look at when your away and needs to do his business then give him a special picture to look at. He shouldn't be doing it looking at someone OTHER than you. This being said, if you both feel the same way. If you both can careless about looking at others, than thats different. _Steph- its a mans nature to look at other woman, yea... but that doesn't mean naked. They can look at other woman walking down the street, oh well.. not much you can do. but, thats it. Yet, to get off on another female naked is not right. In fact, if you want to go into "mens nature" then cheating would be OK also, since its in a mans nature to get with women. _Just a Guy- you have 2 different points. It basically comes down to respecting ones decision is what you and your loved one is dealing with. Not comparing the 2 issues, but the fact that if she can't respect your feelings on the way she dresses (if it really is that bad).. then you feel you shouldn't need to respect her feelings on your p___n. I can see that!! That is something the 2 of you need to sit down and have a nice talk about. Respect is a key thing to have a great relationship.

"Respect is a key thing to have a great relationship.". I coulnd't have said it better. Looking at naked women other than your wife is disrespectful in my opinion.

Yes it is ok as it doesn't mean they want you less and it is also good to watch together if you like that sort of thing.

McKitt brings up a lot of very valid, accurate information, as do others here whose lives have been harmed by the use of p___n. While McKitt's feelings are strong, who can blame her? Once you've had something turn your world upside down, you can't be pa__sive about it. Oddly enough, McKitt, I've posted on another discussion board and have said much of the same things you have...including how p___n has become a multi-billion dollar a year industry, yet so many people claim to be "occasional" users. You don't get to be that big, with occasional use. Supply and demand. Also, while there might be some people who voluntarily do p___n (though I'd question if they'd do it, if it wasn't for the money to be made), there are people who APPEAR to do so voluntarily. However, you may, upon learning more about their home life, discover that they came from a s_xually abusive background. Coming from that type of background can set a person up to continue to be s_xually exploited. Think about it...It's not typical for people to want to get naked in front of a bunch of strangers, let alone perform s_xually, especially with someone they don't know or love, while others watch. While people can intellectualize what watching p___n does for their s_x lives (some people swear it enhances it), McKitt is asking people to go beneath the surface. As much as many of these industries will try to portray their product in a legit, and well-managed fashion (and as for legality and how the business is run, it may be), that doesn't mean the business is healthy or even moral. Those of you who think you're currently "okay" with it, ask yourselves a couple questions...one being, do you mind the availability of p___n and how you, or your spouse, uses it? If you're okay with it, ask yourselves if you'd mind if your mother, sister, aunt, niece, etc. (you get the idea) was in the pictures or a movie and your spouse viewed it? Don't intellectualize your answer...answer with your heart. As Lori painfully pointed out, she accidentally found out more than she ever wished to about her family. I don't think there's anybody here that could say without feeling bad for her that it was their decision to do as they wished...people have families and others who care about them. Even beyond the issue of p___n, what we do...the choices we make, affect others. Those who are okay with p___n today, as I've known people to say before, may be very upset with it tomorrow...after it's wrecked havoc in their relationship. It doesn't have to be as obvious as what McKitt went through, either. Sometimes the damage is less obvious, yet quite corrosive, nonetheless. All too often, I've found the bulk of the damage tends to happen to the woman. Typically, I've found that women don't tend to like p___n, but may "put up and shut up" (hoping the day will come when her spouse doesn't care for it anymore), or go along with it (because she wants to maintain the relationship or because she doesn't want her spouse going out and "actually cheating"), or because she feels she's being made out to be foolish (or prudish) because of her feelings. Later on, she discovers either her spouse's fantasies have changed (to become more bizarre), or he's still looking at (primarily young) women 20 years later (which can cause his wife to feel more insecure about her appearance, as she ages), or he's decided to venture out beyond his marriage and sample some eye candy. As McKitt said, NEVER think it can't happen to you. It CAN! Hopefully, though, it never will.

I don't agree with it. I don't have a problem with couples that do, but I chose not to have it in my life... my story: So, I was on a date with what I thought to be a great guy. After a few dates went by, I was back at his place just chatting because we weren't ready to go our separate ways. Well, later while we were making out and such.. he popped in a p___n video and was trying to get me to do what they do on the screen. (maybe some sick fantasy of his and can't get his mind off this video he probably watches constantly)... anyhow, I told him that I don't agree with it and plan out, "NO" and he pushed me away and said that because I wont, that I have some growing up to do (no, I wasn't that young either)... I basically told him that just because I may not be into that c___p, doesn't have a thing to do with my age or maturity. I will be 40+ and still dont agree with it. Yet, the fact that a guy pushed me away saying that because I wasn't into it, meant that I wasn't grown up enough, is absurd!!! Just as if I wouldn't put out on the first date. I think this day in age, its like you "have" to do these things or your looked down on. So many woman put up with this p___n because they feel that if they say something about it, it makes them look prude or not a "cool" girlfriend or spouse. This being said for the ones that deep down dont like it and wont say anything. If you both do like it and can have an agreement, that is a different story. My point is... STAND UP for what you believe in. If you don't like it, don't put up with it!!! Nothing we can do about whats already out there.. but, doesn't mean it has to be in your household or your relationship. Makes you wonder what your children will have to grow up with and their children, etc. Everything is getting more and more "OK"... Whats the limit and when will a foot be put down??

i LOVE p___n. T.O. you should get in there and watch it with him you may be surprised to find that it's fun to watch. especially if you've been together for a while then it might just be a chance to do some new things in the bedroom.

No. I think p___n is degenerate.

I think it comes down to morals, what might be right for me might not be for you and the other way around. If you are OK with it then no problem! If you are not OK with it then tell him, if he cares enough for you he might understand how you feel and perhaps even share your thoughts on it. If you feel its OK, then enjoy with your partner!! I personally think its NOT OK, but thats just my opinion.

no man should watch p___n, unless it is a video made by him and his wife ; )

gross

i think that p___n is perfectly normal. think about it this way your husbands were problably watching p___n befor they were with you and it gives them new ideas for the bed room don't take it so personal it's an escape for them from reality that just gives them a hard on it doesn't make him less attracted to you. I bet that every normal man looks at p___n or nudy magazines. Its in their nature. get over it

Just as EVERYTHING else in marriage or relationships of that kind, p___n is only ok if both parties agree it is ok.

I love these people with the "get over it" att_tude. It's no big deal until it's your husband that has the s_xual addiction & before you know it, that addiction rules his life & it destroys your marriage. Let's see ya "get over" that.