I Can T Stand My Husband Can You
24 Replies
 | t - September 24 |
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i can't stand my husband!!! i have a real dislike for him ever since i had my baby 7 weeks ago. everything he does or doesn't do gets on my one last nerve. let's look at case in point. we have an agreement that i take the week shifts b/c he works during the week since i now stay at home with her. he takes the weekend shifts. that's two days out of seven-simple right? you would think! but no!
the other night it was his turn for the weekend feedings. my baby didn't feel well, so i nixed the last feeding and we put her to bed. she woke up two hours earlier than when she usually does and she was hungry. i woke up and told my husband i would get the bottle prepared so that he could feed her. he said "i'm going to feed her at 430am which is when she usually gets fed"-this was 230am!!!! i told him WHAT??? you're going to make her wait two hours???? he said "i just went in there to check on her and she seems fine and quiet". (yea right, just went in-it was an hour ago!!!) he said "i put the pacifer in her mouth and turned her music back on and she's fine". what a dumba**!!! of course she's quiet, she has a pacifer in her mouth!!!!!
long story short, i ended up feeding her!!!! when it's his turn, he soooo sloppy about doing anything. he does it half a** and this makes me angry!!! i told him he does everything else so thorough, why not her feedings or changings or just taking care of her period!!!! when he watches her for me, he doesn't watch her, he puts her in the swing or does something else that occupies her. it's like he doesn't take the time!!! I JUST CAN'T STAND HIM!!!!
is anyone husband's an A** like him, or does he take the cake????
ok, i'm feeling better now that i vented!!!! but he still an a** in my book!!!
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 | L - September 24 |
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Mine never helps. It used to make me mad but baby and I ended up with a closer bond. His loss.
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| L - September 24 |
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I would talk to him about it still. If that doesn't work know he's the one that loses.
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 | Me - September 24 |
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Don't worry. Your not alone. Husbands don't do anything. 'since my husband is the main provider in the household he also thinks he doesn't have to do anything else and I have two kids to worry about plus the house and everything else! But like "L" said as your kids grow older they'll know who did what and they'll be closer to you, unfortunately we have to do a lot to get there.
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I think you just discribed my husband. I've even thought about it lately to leave him. I don't want to take my son away from his father though. We've talked about it and that seems to help for a little while and then it starts all over again.
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I can see both sides of things. You're desperate for some sleep, and your husband figures since he's the one who works, the baby should be your job. I'm in the same situation...my daughter's 5 weeks old and I've had one six-hour stretch of sleep since she was born. Otherwise, I haven't slept longer than 2 and a half hours at a time. I would be a nicer person with some sleep, but I'm glad my husband is working extra so I don't have to go back to work yet. I was working with a girl who got pregnant a month before me. She's single and her baby's dad isn't in the picture. She had to go back to work 2 weeks after she had her son (walking with a cane because her pelvis had separated.) She has to work all day and still get up with her baby. Whenever I start to get annoyed with my husband for not helping more, I remind myself that I could be in that girl's situation, and that my husband is helping a lot by being the provider for the family.
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I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom and a housewife..hubby works and I stay at home and I like it. if he is the only one providing financially for the house then I understand him..BUT if you were both working then I would want him to share shores and help with the baby..somtimes I get frustruated too, but like jbear I think about other people's situations and then I realise how blessed I am to have the life that I have..and I know that it could be much worse.. some people may not agree but this is just my opinion..
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In my case me and my husband both work about 40-45 hours a week. So things with our child should be equal but NOPE! HE thinks that since I am the WOMAN that its also my job to do everything for the baby, keep the house clean and cook. IM sooo annoyed by him, im really thinking about leaving his a__s AHHHHHH!
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So you take the week shifts and get the weekend off? While he works all week and has the "weekend" shifts therefore doesn't get time off. Maybe you could work out a more fair arrangement. How about you take turns on weekend "shifts" or each pick a weekend day to sleep in, ect.
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they are all a__ses including me but we still mean well ....sweety , love , my darling wife , god in a mans eyes , the most amazing women I have ever met .... ummm is that enough sucking up ? lol
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what are you talking about-he works all week? what do you think i do??? even when he gets home-i'm still working like cooking, cleaning b/c i get interruped by tending to her needs when she gets extra fussy during the day and getting ready for the next day. so forgive me for not agreeing with you. it takes two to tango and we both created this child-not one but two and we both should share in the responsibilites of raising her.
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 | c - September 25 |
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uh yea, i dont agree with "i dont blame him" too. i dont believe it SHOULD BE a wife's job to take care of the kids and the house. it should be equal!
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You described my husband also. He was like that at first. But now he is different. He now has developed a closer bond with our son and does everything much better now. Just give your husband some time to adjust. This baby stuff is probably all new to him also. And it takes some men longer to grow up. Its up to us women to be patient. Not fair but true. Don't worry it will work itself out. For now just offer your husband some constructive criticism until he figures it out.
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sounds like you described my husband too. yesterday, i asked him to listen in case our daughter woke while i was in the bathroom and started crying. he was on the computer with his headphones on. well, i came out of the br to the sounds of my daughter bawling her eyes out. i picked her up right away annd went out to confront him. he claimed he couldn;t hear her. and there's so much more. why do men refuse to help??? i am so frustrated because my husband is totally shutting me and his 11 day old daughter out. goodf luck everyone.
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I think Alisha is right, it does seem to take them awhile to come around. Last week Jadyns father got up to make her a bottle at 2:30am for the first time and she is 4.5 months old! I was shocked but we both work full time during the week and I know that he feels bad that he has not done much for her but guys can just be programmed differently and take longer to come around. He was getting very hurt that Jadyn and I have such a close bond and he does not have that with her and even though I have spent months trying to make him help with all the baby chores, it took THAT for him to realize that he needs to do more. They just need to realize it on their own and they soon will, we just have to be patient.
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My husband works full time and I'm homemaker so I got up with my boys when they needed attention/nursing. Some days was very overwhelming and tiring and so was my husband's days. I took naps when my boys took naps and struck to a daily routine to make my life easier. My husband couldn't do the same. It make me realize I couldn't ask him to get up at night to care for the baby so I kept the ba__sinet next to me while I slept. All I had to do was reach over and grab my little guy to nurse. On the weekend I got to sleep in late and take long baths to ease some of my stress. He is a good man and the reason why I get to enjoy life full time with my boys and never had to work.I try to remember he has feeling and also need a break too. He gets tons of loving and care when he needs and wants it.....lol....We have a give and take relationship. Sometimes you have to remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place. Give your hubby a little love and he will return some back to you..... We have it quite hard. My oldest has been ill since birth and never have he complained about being a dad or having to work the next day after being at the hospital until 2 am in the morning when he needs to be at work at 6am. I thank God for my loving understanding husband......Please understand your husband works and is just or even more tired than you. Take care
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AMEN**** my boyfriend neverhelps. he only get 1 day off aweek so im with addison 24/7. but sometimes he helps. but i think they dont understand how hard it really is for us. id much rather do what hes doing. getting out of the house and going to work...talking to prople who dont spit up on you!!!j/k
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