 | JB - November 17 |
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My MIL has been watching my 3 1/2 month old son since I've been back to work. So within the last week I've found out that she started giving him juice and cereal during the day without asking me or telling me. First I found out about the juice. I told her it was ok as long as she diluted it with water. Then yesterday I found out she has been giving him cereal. So in order to avoid a big confrontation I made a schedule to go by and gave it to her this morning and told her I didn't want him having cereal during the day. She said well then he's hungry. I don't give it to him on the weekend and he's fine. I was a bit upset when I came to work so I called my husband and he in turn called her. A few minutes later my husband calls me back. She ended up telling him if I give him cereal at night it's ok for her to give him cereal and that she has raise 4 kids and hung up on him. Well that's fine but this is not her kid and she is not raising him. So I'm in a dilemma, should I try to stand my ground and let her keep watching him or pay $400.00 more a month (which we really don't have) and put him in day care? I know that I will continue to have these kinds of problems with her. This is really stressing my out.
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Oh god, tough spot cus she's not charging you. Call your doctor and ask if it's okay that she's feeding him cereal. Maybe he/she will say it's okay once a day or whatever. If not, tell your MIL that your doc said NO cereal and that's final!!!!
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I would sit down with her and tell her that if she doesnt do what you ask then youw ill put him in daycare. Tell her you would like for her to watch him b/c it is great bonding time for them but you want him to be raised the way you want to do it. Just tell her that if she does not stop feeding him cereal you will put him in daycare and if she has a problem with not feeding him then you will find another person to watch him.
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Tell her flat out - yes, she raised 4 kids...now it's your turn, and your husband's turn, to raise the child YOU gave birth to.
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 | T. - November 17 |
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I think that you shoul;d stand your ground and tell her that this is your child and that your the mother, not her. Say that you appreciate her watching your baby for you, but that doesn't give her the right to go behind your back and give him whatever she wants, especially after you asked her not to. That's really rude and I think that if she does that, you shouldn't let her watch your child anyway, but since you're tight on money, I'd just tell her again not to give him cereal or you're just going to not let her watch him.
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How unfair of her. She's got you between a rock and a hard place. I would try to talk to her eye to eye and tell her that you absolutely don't want your baby to have cereal or juice at this point, but that when you do, you will let her know. If she continues then I would cut corners where ever necessary and pay for a respectful day care provider. Her blatant disregard for your "rules" will only continue if you don't put your foot down now. :o)
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I feel for you. I have impossible IL's also. I would explain why you don't want her to give him the cereal. Let her know you understand that's what people did back then but times have changed and Dr's have different recommondations now. I would tell her she should try and respect your wishes!!
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| JB - November 17 |
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I'm not looking forward to seeing my MIL when I pick up my son this afternoon. I hate confrontation but I feel like I have to stand my ground or she will keep doing this.
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Your baby is that young and you are back working. i plan to not miss a minute. if you can afford or almost afford 400 u can stay home and be a mom instead of tossing the poor baby w/ mil or in daycare. why have babies just to run back to work and never see them, sorry but serves you right
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| JB - November 17 |
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TO: stay at home... no I cannot afford to stay at home because then my son would not have insurance. Trust me if we could afford it I would.
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| JB - November 17 |
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To: stay home... by the way I spend plenty of time with my son. When you pay my bills then you can tell me to stay home.
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You could have made that suggestion without being nasty.
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There's nothing wrong with giving your 3 1/2 month old cereal! I think you're just overreacting. That's just my opinion!
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No offense, but I think your daughter would appreciate spending more time with you more than she would appreciate the material things you can give her when she gets older. I understand that many mothers can not afford to stay home and have no other choice but daycare, but to shove your kid in a daycare just so you can buy nice things sounds selfish. How would you like to be stuck in a daycare for 9 (or more) hours a day with no one-on-one attention?
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i'm on the same boat, my mom takes care of my 6 month old. she gives her food that i dont want her to have and she doesnt believe on diluting the juice i've told her many times to stop but she tells me the same thing that she raised me and 4 other kids. i hate it i feel like she doesnt respect my opinions. and i dont want anybody else to take care of her because of all the crazy babysitter stories i've heard. i just try to go with it and choose my battles good luck.
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 | d - November 17 |
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Theres nothing wrong with cereal as stated before in another topic such as the daycare incident. The point is mom wants to do things differently and does not want cereal anymore. It would be nice to have some cooperation and trust. Yes MIL may have had good intentions but should respect the mothers wishes not to have this happen again.
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I agree, your MIL is doing you a HUGE favor. I don't understand why you are so hostile. If you want to have absolute control of your child every min of the day then you should take care of him yourself.
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