 | N - September 21 |
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I am just wondering if any of you who have recently had your baby also have a toddler at home. As my due date slowly approaches, i get more and more nervous. I have seen questions like mine posted before, but i have yet to find something to calm my fears. For one, I fear my older child ( who will be around 27 months when the new baby arrives) will feel really left out. I don't know how to handle this, and i really want a game plan of sorts worked out ahead of time. I am trying for a VBAC, and i think it's mostly because it benifits my toddler the most. We have no one to watch him while i am having the baby, and if i spend four days in the hospital, my husband will have to stay home with him.. plus my hubby only gets a week off.. so if we are there that long, i will only have his help at home for three more days.. MAYBE four (depending on which day of the week the baby is born). With no help at home (my mother works unpredictable hours, my sister works 6 days a week, MIL is legally blind and can't come over on her own, nevermind find her way around my house, FIL runs two companies so he has no time, and all my other friends will either have their own new baby, or they are pregnant) I just don't know how and when i will ever sleep. My toddler doesn't nap. I also plan to br___tfeed exclusively for the first two or three months (after that i will start working again, but i want to give them that while i can). To top it all off, we are moving right before the baby is born (about 3 weeks) and i don't know how all this change will effect my son. He is still too young to explain to him about the baby, but i have tried anyway. He gets jealious when i hold other babies, although he is getting much better with that. He loves babies alot, when they are with THEIR mommy, and tries to feed them and holds their bottles or gives them toys and blankets.. but i know it's different when they aren't around all the time. My mother suggested i enroll him in a play school or get a babysitter during the day for a few weeks after the baby is born, but i am afraid this will only alienate him more, but i don't see any alternatives as i just won't be able to do this all on my own in the first month. Luckily my best friend is flying across the country to visit around christmas time and she will be a HUGE help (she's a level III ECE too).. but that will be around a month after the baby is born. Any suggestions?? Anything at all? I am sitting here wondering about this all day every day and i can't come up with anything! My son is such a good boy, he says his pleases and thankyous all the time, he listens SO SO well, and he is always happy.. i don't want him to change! Thank you in advance. (sorry this is so friggin' long too)
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I wish I knew what to tell you. I am in the similar situation. I am due in middle of January and that will put my daughter and the baby only 19 months apart. I have to have a c-section since I had one the first time. I feel your pain. I wonder the same as you. Luckly I have family around, but I wonder how my daughter will respond. She is to young to know what is going on.
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allthough I am not in this situation (yet) my cousin is he and his wife "let" their older child help with things even though she is 2 she hands them diapers,as well as burprags changes of cloths towels at bathtime and shakes bottles, also helps carry light things for "everyones" baby when they go somewhere she only gets jealous around babys that she doesnt think are "mine" as she puts it
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 | KH - September 21 |
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we started my daughter in a family daycare only 2 weeks before my son was born. We were going to do it after but felt that she would a__sociate going away with the baby being here. I was so nervous to put her in daycare - I thought she was going to be upset when I left and boy was I wrong. It helped tremendously. She looks so forward to going now... She was 3 months shy of 3 years old. She has adjusted so well to the baby. She does do well playing on her own though. One thing that was suggested to me was to get a few toys and only take them out when you are b/f the baby.
That way they feel special when you're b/f. Also get a toy for when you get home from the hosp and say it's from the baby.
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I have a three year old and a one month old. My thee year old was a little hostile toward the baby at first, but she seems to be settling down. I always refer to the baby as "ours" instead of "mine". The one thing she does is want something as soon as I sit down to feed the baby. She also gets a little jealous when we go somewhere and people notice the baby and don't notice her, but she's getting pretty good at speaking up and being noticed. I'm getting almost no sleep, though...hope that will change soon.
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