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I'm wondering at what age other people start worrying about their child seeing the parent of the opposite s_x in the nude. We have a three year old girl and sometimes my husband still walks around in his birthday suit. I talked to him about it last night and first he said that I changed in front of her, so he didn't think there was a problem with him doing that, then he said that his mother never worried about covering up in front of him (he didn't have a dad in the house when he was growing up). So I'm wondering if I come from a family of prudes or if my concern is fairly normal.
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This is a sensitive issue. I still get dressed in front of my 3 year old son and he is very smart but never asks any questions. He knows that Daddy has a wee wee like his and he also knows his brother does too. He has never questioned me I think he understand that I am a girl. I think when they start getting a little bit older and start asking more questions is when you cover up. My SIL still walks around naked in her thong with a 9 year old boy and 2 young girls. I think she should be covering up at that point.
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I have a three and half year old son and he does see me naked. I have wondered when I should start covering up, but he does not seem bothered by it in the slightest. He knows he and daddy have a p___s and I have b___sts and seems fine with it. We have never made nudity and issue or the differences between boys and girls and issue so I don't think it is an issue for him.
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Funny you should mention this. The baby and I were playing on the bed. My S/O was standing near the bed talking to me in a very animated fashion when we both noticed that the baby was staring at something... ;)Since then he has been totally freaked out!
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| kr - November 22 |
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I think it's time to cover up (for a child of the opposite s_x) when it causes either of the parents anxiety. With this in mind I don't think there is a problem talking to children about a p___s or vulva at any age. Children provide ample opportunities. They may not ask what something is, but when s/he grabs or touches his/her own, you or your husband can offer them a name for their body part. I took a cla__s about child s_xual abuse. The instructor was of the opinion that one of the best ways to guard your child from this problem was by being open to them about body parts. If a child is unashamed about his/her body then s/he can tell his/her parent about inappropriate touching. I don't think your prude, you are just concerned.
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I have a 5 year old now but I stopped the minute he noticed my b___bs (around 3). But he sees daddy naked all the time. He doesnt ask anything he just knows that I have b___bs and daddy has a p___s.
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I think that when your child starts asking questions is really the time to start covering up. My nephew seen my sister naked all the time up until he was 4. By then he was trying to grab her chest, so it was definately time to stop. I still get in the bathtub sometimes with Zane, but usually I wear a bathing suit (I know lol, sound prude-ish) because he has started noticing things. I was raised strict, as in when I was about 4 if I got out of the bath and didn't have a towel around me, I was in trouble. I was taught that anything even remotely s_xual was bad. I am not teaching my kids that, but I still don't feel cofortable with Zane seeing me naked alot. It really just depends on you and your child I think.
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I do not want my son to be ashamed of his body or think it is bad to be naked. Once he starts getting too grabby or really noticing, that is when I will stop. My dh is a little more conservative on that issue. He cracks me up. He does not think our 3 month old should see him naked, as if he is looking. I don't think parading around naked after 3 or so is the best idea, for either parent.
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Thanks for all the responses so far! I was expecting ugly comments and I am glad not to have gotten any. My child does know the proper names for the body parts, but the reason I started worrying about all of this is that she asked her grandmother why daddy's v____a was so big, so I know she's noticing things, even if she doesn't understand everything she sees.
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| CEM - November 22 |
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I don't think you're being a prude at all. It's a very common concern for many parents, and also such a personal decision. I have 3 boys and I personally don't feel comfortable walking around totally naked in front of them. The b___sts are fine, but the nether regions are for me and my husband's eyes only. That's what I'm most comfortable with. My husband, on the other hand, has no problem being totally naked in front of them, but they are all the same s_x. If your husband and daughter are comfortable with it, then why not? Up until a reasonable age, of course! 7 or 8, maybe? :)
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I think that I'll ask my husband to start being modest in front of my daughter when she's potty trained. To me, that's when *she* gets privacy in potty/bath (girls only), and so he should be private, too.
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Um....a 7 or 8 year old girl doesn't need to be staring a grown man's p___s.
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| kr - November 22 |
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to Jamie- I like that idea of introducing private potty time. I was wondering how to explain things you do by yourself and things you do in private.
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I still bath with my son sometimes. I haven't since I had Ben but thats only cos of the bleeding and leaking b___bs. I get changed in front of them. My partner baths with both our son and daughter. He covers his bits with a flannel though.
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i started covering up when dd was 2 1/2yrs...and my hubby never really walked around naked with the kids around. when they have fever and need a bath asap i put on bathing suits and go in with them. i think i should start tellling my daughter her parts though...cause she will be in school nexted year and i want to make sure that she knows what innapropriate touching is. But i dont know how to bring it up...or how to call her body part...so she can understand. any ideas???
i guess these convo. can be one of the hardes thing in being a parentlol
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Karine, usually your kids will get curious about their various parts and ask you. When I was potty-training my daughter, she looked between her legs and started crying that she was broken and needed a bandaid. That's how I knew it was time to tell her a little bit about her body. We called it "girlparts" for a while, then when she was a little older we started using the correct terms. One thing you can do if you want to talk to your daughter about inappropriate touching is to tell her that any part of her that is covered by a bathing suit is a private area.
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| CEM - November 23 |
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I'm not advocating shoving your private parts into a kid's face! I'm referring more to situations where dad comes out of the shower and the daughter happens to glance at him naked, or sees him on his way to his room. Of course common courtesies and social norms should be exercised! In that type of situation it's not just "a grown man's p___s", it's her father. And she probably wouldn't be "staring" at it, but happen to catch a glimpse of it. There is nothing wrong with that.
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