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Life sucks I remember my Mom telling me I was in the hospital for three months hang in there. Hope all the problems with your son get better fast so he can come home. How is your milk supply going or is it gone.

Jeepers, Beccah! That really sucks! I read your post from the 8th, and you were so excited to bring him home! Now you cant? I would definately get a second opinion, or get another doctor for your baby. I'd tell your current doctor that he is relieved from his duties!!!! Child Protective Services? That is some nerve of your doctor, to use that as a threat! Maybe you should contact CPS and see what your options are regarding your baby coming home, and see what right your doctor has to prevent it. Good luck, Beccah! I hope that Bradyn is continuing to grow bigger and stronger every day!

Beccah, I'm so sorry that you have to go through all that. I have experienced that first hand- except I gave birth at 25 weeks and my daughter weighed 1lb 10 ounces. I had to leave my daughter in the hospital( which was 2 hours away) for almost 4 months. Trust me when I say I can relate. The only thing that kept my sanity was the fact that I knew she was getting the best possible care. I too had to go through the brady's and the reflux and heart surgery and all kinds of stuff. Just hang in there and your precious little one will be home before you know it. I know that it seems like it's taking forever and time is just standing still. But it will happen soon- your almost there. Thougths and prayers for you and your family.

I tried to get a second opinion when I went in yesterday (Mon.), but none of the other pediatricians at the hospital want to go against the man who has been “taking care of him” since he was born. You guys wouldn’t believe this doctor. He keeps cutting me off and going over his qualifications, blah blah blah. So arrogant! So far they have exercised all options to help his bradys and reflux: giving him medicine, putting him at a 45 degree angle and putting rice in his bottle, but nothing seems to help stop the bradys completely. I feel so helpless, I know he would be getting better care at home, I just know it. I don’t know what they plan on doing anymore, since nothing seems to be helping. Are they going to keep him til he grows out of it? He could be 6 months by then! All this stress HAS pretty much dwindled my milk supply, I’m still getting around 15-20 ml in the morning, so it isn’t gone completely yet. I started taking fenugreek two days ago, and haven’t noticed much of a difference, but we will see. The only thing I can do for him now is giving him b___stmilk, but since that seems to be going away, I seem to be driving myself crazy because I can’t help him! I can feel myself putting up a wall to protect my emotions. I don’t want to go see him as often, and when I do, my husband holds him for most of the time. I can’t even look at him and talk to him anymore. I guess I’m doing this because I’m losing hope that he will come home at all because nothing seems to be helping. If anyone wants to email me about this, my addy is rebeccah0326@yahoo.com

I'm sure you'll be able to bond with him once he's home. It's hard to see your baby in the hospital, hooked up to all those machines, and hard to hold the baby and worry about keeping the cords out of the way. My first baby was in NICU, only for two weeks, but I remember feeling distant from her while she was there. You are helping your son, by making sure he gets the medical care he needs at this delicate stage. It's hard to think a doctor knows better than a mother, but you have to tell yourself that the doctor treats lots of preemies and that the doctor is focused mainly on keeping your son alive. If he feels that's best done in the hospital, maybe it is. You're going to have so many joyful years with your child that delaying it by a couple of months won't matter in the long run. Most preemies stay in the hospital until their due date, so maybe you can make that your goal. Oh, if you're taking enough fenugreek, you should smell like maple syrup.

JBear, It's so hard to bond with him. He looks perfectly healthy, and he's only hooked up to a heart monitor, with those little circles on his chest. The nurse yesterday said that he "vomited", and after questioning her more, she admitted it was only a little spit-up. It makes him seem more sick than he really is. I keep telling myself that "at least he didn't lose oxygen when he was born" and "at least he is doing as well as he is". I know that there are so many things that could have gone wrong with having a 28 week old preemie, so if I keep telling myself that then I feel better about this whole thing.. By the way, I am fully aware about the syrup thing. My husband LOVES to sniff my armpits and go "mmmm... pancakes". He gets a slap in the face, but at least he makes me laugh :-)

Beccah, I am so sorrry to read what your going through. I know it must be hard. A girl I know had her little girl around 24 weeks at 1 pound in June. She was just recently allowed to take her home. Hang in there and prayers for you and your family. I know my expreience dont compare but I know how you feel. Kodi was 4 weeks early and he had to stay an extra 2 days in the hospital. I refuse to leave without him. Everyday the doc came I hoped for his release and it was "He is doing great, but we want him here for another day or so". Hope you get to take him home soon.

Hi Beccah, this has got to be so frustrating for you. I had to read through alot of this post quite quickly so I apologize if this has already been addressed but have you checked with the hospital to see if you can stay there some nights? I would hope that all Drs are familiar with the studies proving that preemies seem to thrive so much better with skin on skin contact with the mother and with that, they should want to promote your baby boys health by accommodating you as much as possible so you can be there with him to provide this. Like I said, I am sorry if this was already covered and I missed it but you have so much support from everyone that I had speed read through alot of it. No matter what, your little boy knows who his mommy is and his time in the NICU will never get in between the bond the two of you will share. Good luck.

Wow. What a weekend. I was allowed to room in with Bradyn this whole (long) weekend, and I got to see how serious his reflux is. Actually, I'm pretty sure it got a lot worse when he was with me and my dh. He had about 30-40 bradys with us! Anyway, I wrote a lot about it on my webpage if you want to check it out: http://www.piczo.com/rebeccah0326?g=18850585&cr=1 (take out any dashes, the ='s are supposed to be there)

Great reading info that you have posted now it is time for me to go back to sleep,Why did Bradyn have more brady's when you were there, did it have anything to do with your presence of your stress level and he sensed it ,or is it something that just happened. Poor baby,don't feel guilty for mothering your child,you still did the right thing for him by being there. Hope you get more answers soon. Take care and try not to stress out over the matter so much,when you are with him, I am sure Bradyn senses it . I could be way wrong. Thanks for the updates!

Lisa, I also thought that maybe it was me, but his doctor called today and said that he has definately gotten worse over the weekend. Since I left yesterday afternoon, he has continued to have more bradys and spit up/vomit. They had also gone a whole week without stimulating him or giving him oxygen, but he told me that just this morning, he stopped breathing and turned blue and needed oxygen. We are getting a surgeon to take a look at him today or tomorrow, and he will have gastrointestinal surgery sometime next week. As I said in my webpage, reflux is normal in preemies and sometimes, surgery is a last option, but I'm happy that something is being done about it. I'm not too worried about him getting surgery, he's not going to remember it anyway, and he will be in a lot less pain in the long run. I just wish someone told me how bad he really was without sugar coating anything! He really is a special baby, hardly ever cries, (which is amazing b/c reflux babies are supposed to be inconsolable). I'm not stressed out because I know that it wasn't me, his condition happened to have a turn for the worse this weekend... and I am thankful that I didn't take him home early or else I would have lost him by now. Everything works out for the best.

I'm glad you've found some peace with the situation. You're right that he won't remember the surgery, and babies heal really fast. My oldest daughter had surgery for inguinal hernias at 3 months (another preemie problem, sometimes) and healed unbeliveably fast, with no scars.

Thanks, that is very encouraging, JBear. We are lucky in so many ways, it's easy to look at the bright side of things. He has a condition, and there ARE things we can do to help him. Can you imagine if we were in a 3rd world country and didn't have the resources to help him? Or if we weren't on medicaid? Gosh the potential problems are endless, but we are so lucky.

I know what you mean. When my daughter had to have her surgery, I was so thankful for medicaid...it let me focus on her recovery rather than on bills.

My prayers are with you and your little one ! Happy Thanksgiving ! May God watch over your baby Bradyn .

Thanks Kim :-) Happy holidays to you and your family!