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i know at least a little of what ur feeling. right now i'm on maternity leave so i have to go back to work sometime soon. part of me doesn't want to because i worry about the baby being without me and i want what's best for her but then part of me is really looking foward to it. most of the day i'm stuck at home, i dread leaving the house on errands because i know she's going to start screaming, she hates the carseat. so, all i do is

oops didn't finish, lol anywy, all i do is watch tv look at this forum and take care of the baby. i really get cabin fever.

I think your point is very valid. I would love to actually work part time ideally to get out of the house. 3 days a week seems perfect to me. I love my son and would welcome the opportunity to stay home, but if I did not have a car or anyone else adult to interact with, it would not be as enjoyable. I only ahve one child, so I cannot imagine it with two. I work full time and miss Lucas a lot. He is with family, so he is well taken care of, but there are days now when I am glad to go to workLOL!! Like when he is extra cranky. A lot of the times I get irritated with dh because he announces all these things and projects he is going to get done around the house. Lucas lets me get zero done, he is very high maintenance, but I wish sometimes I could just have 15 minutes to clean the bathroom or do the dishes, while he gets to work on things and I do all of the child care when home. He is a good dad and hubby, he means well, but does not seem to want to be bothered to do the really, really hard work, which is the baby! But, on the other hand, I get the most smiles and cuddling and play time too which I chereish since he will only be this small once. But it must be really hard in your situation. Just wanted you to know that I sympathize, even if I cannot totally relate to your complete situation!

With you on that one, Jbear! Of course, it's nice to say you're a sahm, but doing it 24-7 is a whole different story. Although it's great to be with your kids most of the time, it's only natural (and normal) that an adult would want some stimulating adult contact. My husband always says to me, "there's a limit to how long a 30 year old can play with a 4 year old!". Thank goodness for this forum, I know I would have lost it long ago if it wasn't for everyone here! Wait.... Maybe I have ;-).

I know a few women who didn't enjoy staying at home as well as they thought they would. The one case kind of resembled yours in that the husband preferred his wife to stay at home and worked hard to have it be that way, even though she would have been happy to work and put the kids in daycare. It has only been three weeks for me and I have dreamt about going back to work, which suprises me, because I wanted to stay home. Luckily I am in a field where I can work a day or two a week and make good money. I plan on going back in that capacity in maybe February. For me, this is a lot harder than my job. Maybe it will get easier as the baby gets older, but right now, it is kicking my b___t. Can I ask you a personal question? Would daycare cost more than you would earn if you went back to work? If not, maybe you should go back to work. Or, can you work part-time, just to get out of the house? Or would the car situation not allow you to do that? Too bad you don't any good groups with which you can socialize. I think that would make a big difference for you. In any case, I think you should talk to your husband about it. He needs to know how you feel.

Don't feel bad... I'm in the same boat. I think that's partially the reason I've been on this darn forum so much. I have been blessed enough to have 3 beautiful children that I am able to stay home and raise, but a day of fun in my book is going to Walmart or going to my mother's house. Sad but true. I've always had a job since the age of 14 and now, my job is being a full time mom. Jbear, I hear you completely. Even at times now, when I have a chance for my husband and I to go out, I really have nothing to talk about aside from what the kids had done that day. I miss adult conversation, and having friends. All of my friends (or the ones I used to have) are all single or married WITHOUT kids. Vent as much as you want, I'm here to listen... after all, I definitely understand.

Jbear can you perhaps do some child minding at home altho that may be the last thing on ya mind haha. I know its hard cause i am there too, sometimes i felt like jb that you had nothing to say besides what your child did that day because really like some of you if i wasn't at my mums, i may be shopping etc, i found i did more socially while i was almost ready to pop her out, lunches etc, its died a bit now but i make a point of getting out everyday even for a walk. Noone tells you what a huge change a baby brings as well as joy, its life changing, my partner left us around 6 weeks ago with this excuse, that excuse .. I wonder if he saw me as boring now cause my life isnt as active as it once was, also he wasn't the centre of attention anymore.... who knows but jbear you do have a great husband who still is there for you so all you need to do is tell him you want to work even a day a week, that would change how you feel entirely as a person, make u feel so much better cause sometimes all we need is just a day of the real world again. I totally enjoy being home with my daughter, i don't want to miss a single thing and you are lucky because although he may be working two jobs you still have someone you can talk too about how you feel. Just tell him how you really feel, it doesn't make u anything but human i think to feel the way you do...

I remember when I used to work and I hated it(i'm sure it was b/c of the company I worked for) I am so happy to be a stay at home mom now!!!! I go to walmart, target, thrift stores, visit relatives to get out of the house. I do all cleaning, cooking and taking care of finances etc.. Having one car must be really hard. To bad you couldn't find a friend who live nearby that speaks english. You must live in a differnt kind of area. I wish I had better advice but I don't really know what to say.

Daycare for two kids would probably cost about as much as I would make. There are government programs we would probably qualify for that would pay part of it, but I would feel guilty using government resources that should be left avaliable for single moms. I stayed home for six months after we had our first child, was really depressed and gained 60 lbs. After that, my husband and I worked out a plan where he worked overnight and I worked during the day, so that we didn't have to pay for daycare but were both able to work. He doesn't want to do that with two kids, though...he won't even watch them long enough for me to shower. The only thing I've really accomplished since I've been home is getting my three year old pottytrained. My boss told me she'd train me to be a store manager if I came back after I had the baby (before I had my first baby I managed a gas station/convenience store). I wanted to go back part time, and she was all right with that, but my husband would have had to switch his days off around, and he didn't want to. I don't know...I have plenty of stuff to do around here, not just housework but hobbies...I quilt, sew doll clothes, make necklaces, decorate cakes...but somehow having stuff I can do doesn't help that much.

I am happy to stay home with my son, but can understand where you are coming from. We have two cars but one of them has been out of commission so to speak off and on since I gave birth to Blake. We hardly have had money to fix it since I left my job which paid rather well. Money has been tight to say the least. I get major cabin fever and to top it off we moved to a new city when I was 6 months pregnant so I know no one. In a couple of months though, we are moving back to Orlando where we came from and where all of my family is. My husband will be making more money there, and I will have more things to do with Blake througout the day. I miss my job because I was good at it and enjoy being around people, but I love staying home. When I think of what I would be giving up so that I could work it makes me happy to be a stay at home mom, and so grateful for my husband working so hard for our family.

I am in a similar situation. I moved from the east coast to the west coast after we got married, my husband has always lived here so has established himself well. I am still finding it really difficult, and particularly now since we've had the baby. I don't really know anyone here and some days I kick myself for leaving to come here. As much as I love my husband, I still think about going back home to be with my other children (3 of them live with their dad, 1 lives here with me.) My baby is 9 months old and have just found out that I am pregnant again! I was kinda looking forward to going back to part time work in a few months...that's not going to happen for a while now. I would feel really guilty telling him how much I regret moving here.

Staying home has made me depressed as well and I've been doing it for 3 years. My husband has a great job so we can afford for me to stay home. I however never dreamed of being a stay at home mom. When my son was born I didn't have it in my heart to send him to daycare so I quit my job. I just had my second baby and it isn't getting any easier. My mom lives far away and I don't know anyone in the town where we live. I live in a nice subdivision but most of the women work. I have joined in many mommy and me activities hoping to meet other women but I don't seem to find anyone in which I have alot in common or live in the same area. We live in kind of small town and I have to drive about 20 min. to attend activities. Daycare is a fortune around here and I just couldn't send my kids there all day and part-time wouldn't be worth my time. I sometimes feel like a human sacrifice and my husband tells me that it is worth it meanwhile I feel like I have lost a part of myself. It is hard with no support system.

i know the feeling i am too a sahm and there is nothing in this little town there are 5 towns around me that are about a half hour away so i can get out and visit family/friends or go shopping i try go get out once a week and during dd's naps when im not doing chores i sew draw, paint or come here and there are not other stay at home moms in this little town that i live in, i even have to go 3 blocks to get the mail and thursday nights i shoot in a dart leage with my friends so i can get out of the house by myself

Lisa i know how you feel, i have 4 kids but 3 of them live with their dad a long ways from me, i moved here with my husband and some days i just want to pack up and go home...i can't leave my husand though, i love him too much so i'm just sitting here on my own with my baby most days till the day comes when we can all go.

Lisa, how old are your kids, my other 3 are 11, 4 and 3. how do you kids cope lving apart from you? I worry about mine so much and can't wait to see them again!!

hi gh - my other children are 18, she is working and doing ok, has a boyfriend etc. My other daughter is 13. My son, 11 desperately wants to come and live with me, but my ex husband says he can't due to the fact that he is autistic and is well established in school. My 13 year old daughter does most of the day to day care of my son because the dad works full time and spends most of his spare time in front of the telly or pc screen. There is no interaction from him. I resent him and despise the fact that he doesn't give my children the care that I can give them. It would cost me $20 000 just to take him to court to fight for custody, we simply don't have that kind of money. I love my baby girl, she is the light of our lives, but I miss my other kids so much, it pains me to think of not being with them. They will be spending 3 weeks over christmas with me, I am so excited about having them here. How often do you get to see your kids gh? Your kids are still quite young, it must be really tough for you!