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hi gh - my other children are 18, she is working and doing ok, has a boyfriend etc. My other daughter is 13. My son, 11 desperately wants to come and live with me, but my ex husband says he can't due to the fact that he is autistic and is well established in school. My 13 year old daughter does most of the day to day care of my son because the dad works full time and spends most of his spare time in front of the telly or pc screen. There is no interaction from him. I resent him and despise the fact that he doesn't give my children the care that I can give them. It would cost me $20 000 just to take him to court to fight for custody, we simply don't have that kind of money. I love my baby girl, she is the light of our lives, but I miss my other kids so much, it pains me to think of not being with them. They will be spending 3 weeks over christmas with me, I am so excited about having them here. How often do you get to see your kids gh? Your kids are still quite young, it must be really tough for you!

Oh boy do I know how you feel. I love my Daniel with all my heart, but sometimes I think that we need to see other people. I don't think I am built to be a SAHM but I don't think that I am built to leave my hunka chunka with someone else either. I just feel like I can't win. I am on mat. leave but I am not going back to my job (did not tell them that yet) bc I could find something paying me double. If I go back I would be just working to pay for childcare. And how about I am an infant and toddler teacher. I feel like I would be cheating on my son and when I come home he is going to smell the "other" baby on me. Once again, I think that I am going crazy. With all of that being said I still really need some adult time. My dh is working overtime trying to be the other adult that I need to talk to. I talk and talk to him win he gets home and God bless his heart bc he never looks annoyed. I think that he understands. Now, we don't have a car but, I live in NYC and in some spots, cars are absolutely useless. However, the subway system is about nothing other than stairs. Can you imagine carrying a 15lb baby in a 22lb stroller up 2 flights of stairs? It is nuts!!! But that is what I have to do if I want to go and do something. Boo hoo and yay at the same time for motherhood.

Jbear your not alone on this issue before I had my daughter I thought I would love to stay home don't get me wrong I love being with her but i miss the adult interaction at work its not always good but it's different than home life I think we all need a change in routine at some point Myself I am going back to work at the end of march and I know i will miss her terriblely but I need to feel like I still have a life besides just being a mom.I have lots of friends but most of them work through the day and that leaves me a little lonely. I'll be back to full time which is 2 weeks days and 2 weeks afternoons which will be hard.I'm lucky because I don't have to pay for child care my mom is going to watch her and i go by there on my way to work so it will be okay. Good luck but remember you need to be happy as well just talk to your husband maybe you can just work a few days just to get out of the house and get some simulation.

I completely understand. My family lives in Canada and Im here in the states. I know no one. I've been here for almost a year and I cant stand it. I miss my family and friends! Having some kind of support system to help me through my babies tough times. I'm not interested in going to mommy cla__ses.... in fact I'm not really interested in anything at all. I really hate my life. My husband and I fight all the time. I just want to run away. Im depressed, angry and frustrated all the time. I dont know what to do. We are supposed to be moving closer to canada but that doesnt make me feel any better cuz everyone I know is still hours away. When we do get a babysitter and go out, we usually go for some wings and beer or hang out with his friends.. He ends up getting drunk where I have to look after him and the baby when we are home. I thought it was supposed to be relaxing.

You sound like me I am having a hard time too. My husband is always working and I have no family here and have gotten very depressed. I was always one of those girls with tons of friends and an event every night of the week. Now I stay home every night with my 2 kids. I can't find a trust worthy babysitter because I don't know anyone in this town. My 3 year old is out of control and it doesn't seem like it is ever going to get better.

My husbands aunt is here in town. Her and her daughter who is 13? love to look after the baby. I just dont like it because she smokes and does it near the baby. Both my husband and I smoke too but not anywhere near him. She knows we dont do it around him too because we made it clear at thanksgiving dinner. I dunno.. it seems all i do is complain heh. You know none of my family has seen my baby yet. its been 2 months. We cant afford to go on a 16 hour drive to see them as we are trying to save to move and have a decent xmas. Im going out of my mind. What I would give to go out with one of my close friends.. even if it just to Tim hortons for a really good coffee. Blah!

I'm glad someone brought this up so I can see the other side of being a SAHM. I'm on maternity leave right now for 12 wks. I'm on wk #7 and just dreading going back to work cus I just love being with my little one and hate the idea of dumping her in daycare even though it's right next door to me and my friend runs the daycare but still, who can care better for your child than yourself! I just worry about her and I'd sit and bawl just thinking about leaving her to return to work. So besides being on leave I'm still working p-t from my house cus my employer just can't live without me. Sad. I'm also getting paid maternity leave but I'm using all my sick and vacation time to get paid. I ended up asking for an extra 2 wks off since I've been doing so much work at home and they granted it. I think I wanted it cus Janauary 2 is too close! Now I was offered full-time work from this department I do at home transcription for on the side. They offered me more money and I can work at home at my own pace 40 hours a week. It sounds ideal but I'm my own boss with no benefits or anything like that. But still, no daycare and I'm home. I just don't know how well it would go though. When I'm home now I get annoyed by the house being messy so I stop working and go clean house and then Emma wakes up and I have to care for her so who knows when I can get back to work. I just don't know what to do. I've been at my job for 7 years and I am getting really tired of it but yet the hours are great and the benefits are awesome and I'm guaranteed three more raises in the next three years so daycare won't be killing us either. I'm hoping I start changing my mind and I do miss some adult interaction but not that bad. It's winter here so I get cabin fever whereas if it was summer I'd have her out and about all the time. I'm just afraid if I quit my job I'll totally regret it and I'd never get it back and it pays good but if I stay home and work I'd be making about the same but I'd be home and work at my own pace. I'm just a wreck thinking about it!!!!

I've always believed I'm a really a rock star. I have multiple tattoos, wear knee high black boots almost everyday. I swear. But I'm a d__n fine mom, most of the time. *sigh* However, my DH is a trucker. So guess who stays home alone with 2 kids 24/6. Dh is home saturdays. I'm in charge of a 3 month old, and a 6 year old. I have attended a mom&Me play group and almost vomitted while they sat in a circle and sang nursery rhymes. I'm a rock star, for heaven's sake! Next you know I'll be driving a mini-van and joining the pta and discussing bake sales. We moved to the country, and I'm all city! My city-friends have gotten jobs now, since the youngest (besides mine) is 1 1/2 years old, so there goes my buddy-time. I'm slowly going insane, feeling like I'm surrounded by deliverance and stepford wives, all at the same time!!!! Someone !!!!!! Send help!!!!!!!!!!!

ha ha Lovely I know what you mean about the nursery rhymes! It's all Beatles and Led Zeplin at our house and my son screams bloody murder when anyone tries to sing/play c___ppy baby music around him! I'm a SAHM and I do have those going nuts days. Sometimes I'm perfectly happy to be home and sometimes I'm just dying to see another adult!

I'm another stay at home mom! It really sucks! I've been at home for 4 years! Well, I had a job for a couple of months at a Daycare, but got knocked up again, and the kids were literally making me sick! So I was back to being at home! (Where I'll probably be for the next 20 years!) I dont mind being at home though. What I do mind is how hard my DH works to support all of us. We dont get to spend a lot of time with him, and miss his presence! Lovely, you sound like me! I'm a total rocker chick, and when I drop off my little girl at preschool, I find myself amongst some of the prissiest, older Mom's who are dressed in suits and always have their designer labels on! I feel very out of place! Actually yesterday I went to school with her and stayed to help make cookies with the cla__s! So out of character for me! I think a little boy named Victor was trying to hit on me! Anyways I'm opting to not join the PTA, or Girl Guide leaders also! Mini vans? I REFUSE!!! I know they are economical and convenient, but I just cant imagine myself driving one with my Pantera bumper sticker stuck on the back!

HAHAHAHAHA Chelsae!!! You know why prissy moms don't like US? They know we could steal their boring husbands if we wanted too!!! LOL!!! Also, an army friend of mine says mini vans should be used for hauling explosives, not groceries and kids!... Pantera bumper sticker... LOL!!!!!!!!

I'm going to have to tell my husband about the explosives! I bet he'll go buy a mini van... then go buy explosives! You could be right about those prissy women! You're in Winnipeg right? I'm from Brandon! (well, in Calgary now...)

What I hate is when I'm in public with my son (usually wearing my Aerosmith t-shirt) and people thing I'm a teenage mom or the babysitter- not that there is anything wrong w/teenage moms, but I'm 24! And I get these dirty looks from the designer moms! :P

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't always think it's fun to be home. I've been feeling like I'm a bad mom because sometimes I wish I could just run away for a few hours...it's pathetic when you can't even use the toilet without someone bringing you a doll to dress.

jbear I would not want to stay at home if I did not have a car and the only thing around was the school play ground etc. I totally understand how you feel and you should not feel guilty. I think I would go crazy if I had to stay home all the time. I have only been home for 4 months with my son and although I will be missing him to death I am sord of glad to be going back to work next week. I love having adult conversation and getting dressed up to go to work and doing something for myself. I would tell my husband how I feel ....he has to know. Cant you get a part time job?

Yes, I am from Winnipeg. We bought a house about 1/2hour outside of it though and all my city friends think I've moved to China!!! With this d__n snow, it might as well be Siberia!!! I hate snow!!!!! ..."IIIIIII'm dreeeeaming, of a palm-tree x-mas!....." I'm starting a new thread for "Rocker" mom's only!!!