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also, i tore in labor, it was second degree so better than an episiotomy at least but it felt no worse than a hand nail and for a quick second. i got scared though beecause i heard aweful things before hand but as soon as i said its starting to sting it stopped completly. also i didn't tear "gently" the nurses hand ripped me all at once cause she had to free the cord from his neck. you'll be fine your body makes its own wonderful drugs!

I didn't have time for an epidural the first time around. I had a intense 3 hour labor and 8 minutes pushing time. The wors part was progressing through labor so fast that I couldn't get one. I was asking for one the whole time I was there, but they didn't tell me that I was too far along to get one. If I had known, I would have been a lot calmer. I didn't stop asking till I felt the water break and I felt the baby coming down. I think the worst part was when the head starting coming out. It burned. This time I will try to go agaim wihtout epidural. But if it takes any longer than the first time, I will ask for it. My friend just had a horror story birth because the epidural dropped her blood pressure too low. Then they gave her adrenaline and she thought her heart was going to give out. I don't mean to scare anybody, but it can happen.

i had my daughter without the epidural and it was the worst exp ever. I honestly thought i was going to die. With my son i went for the epidural at 4 cm and had the most beautiful birthing exp. it was like a movie. So i after exp both natural and epi I am def getting the epi again!!!

Cindernar - good for you. at our hospital they don't even offer epidurals, so that's not an option, but I'm still hoping to go natural without pain meds. I havent' done it yet, but from what I've heard from those who have, it really makes a difference what mindset you go into labor with. If you go into it tense and scared, it's going to seem that much worse. But if you try to stay calm and relaxed (as much as humanly possible!) my friends say it really helps. Dunno if that helps or not.

Also, as for coping methods, in our pre-natal cla__ses, the nurses said that they have found water to really help deal with pain, either being in the tub (if your hospital offers one) or even taking a nice hot shower. Also, the exercise b___s are supposed to help, rocking chairs, I think anything rhythmic that takes your mind off the pain. Have you considered hiring a ma__seuse trained in pregnancy ma__sage? Alot of times you can hire them as labor support and they will perform ma__sage while in labor which is really supposed to be great. I would love to, but too $$$ for us.