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I live in Brooklyn and work in NY, too. How much longer before you can ttc?

I can start now but I just recently found some info abt the man I've been seeing for 6 yrs that has broken my heart. I've been feeling this awkwardness w/him & I've caught him in 1 toooooo many lies so I took it upon myself to conduct my own "investigation" and what I learned has made having a child w/him, let alone any future w/him, impossible. He is married!!!!! And it looks like he's been married for almost a yr. I can't begin to tell you how sick, distressed, disgusted, betrayed and heartbroken I am. I am truely at a loss here so I don't know what my future holds anymore.

RU-Girl, I am so sorry but look at it this way... You found all of this out before getting pregnant by him. Thank God for that... Imagine? Sorry for your hurt and your pain... You aren't still talking to him are you? Wow, how did you find out? Did you talk to his wife? Was he not wearing a ring? How long were you together? God knows what your future holds, girl! I know it hurts but look at this as if it were a blessing! I have a friend who this happened too... The guy actually left his wife for her.. They married but she is so paranoid and is always bringing up the past.... Its torture for both of them.

We're barely talking right now and he doesn't know that i know anything!!! He has never worn a ring and i haven't spoken to his wife. We've been together almost 6 yrs. I found out by conducting my own research, basically I snooped, and 1 clue lead to another and to another so I now have a mountain of info on him. Everything is broken betwn he and I. I could never have a life w/someone I could never trust so I understand your friend's predicament. I would be just like her...questioning everything with a suspicious eye. That's no life. I KNOW that in the long run, this is a blessing but I feel so sad and concerned. I still want a baby, that hasn't changed, but now I feel a like my chances are slipping through my fingers. Everything happens for a reason, and i MUST remember that. I can't imagine that God would put us on the path he has (fibroids, myo, tests,etc) survived it, and put another another obstacle like this. Guess he has another path he wants me to take. :-)

RU-Wow, girl. We've all got a story!! Did you get closure? So, you haven't confronted him about knowing that he's married? Just curious, if you were dating for 6yrs. Did he take you out, did you meet his family an did you go over his house? If he called you right now and said that he wanted to see you... Would you say "Yes"? You mentioned that you barely talk... Which means that you still talk sometimes... Girl, unless you are gonna tell him that you know and say whatever else you need to say... I would cut all communication off... We've all been in love and sometimes we get tempted to go back to someone who has hurt us... We've all been there. Girl, God may have moved him out the way to make room for Mr. Right! His ways are not like ours...

RU-Everything happens for a reason... Even this discussion we are having... We are all here to help one another...

RU-Before my bestfriend found her hubby of almost 2 yrs. I told her to write down Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Then to list 7 things she wanted and the specifics. The first was a husband. She wrote down the specifics and within a few months she met him and they are happy today. Also, she got into the medical school she wanted and I forget the rest. But she did include this story in her wedding program... Why don't you try it and read them with the verse everyday. Also, you've got to believe it. Ofcourse, you don't have too... Just a suggestion. :)

Thank you Ms. Monet. I haven't had closure b/c I haven't told him that I know anything. I did meet some of his family, we did go out & I used to stay at his place all the time. Apparently, his wife lives in another state. She was the girlfriend before me. He told me they had broken up but apparently, they hadn't and have been having a long distance relationship for several yrs and got married last yr yet he still lives here. I don't get it. But you are 100% correct--- Everything happens for a reason. I just have to continue reminding myself of that. Soooo, I'm gonna have to start hitting the bars and streets for a good man, huh? haha!! Mr. Right is somewhere but I hope he comes soon!

Ms Monet- I really need to get away so i just booked a weekend trip to see my parents. And I think I'm gonna ask one of my girlfriends to plan a summer get away. Think this is God telling me to take care of myself first! :-) Thank you for understanding and listening to me. I really do appreciate it!!!! :-)

Thanks for the suggestion too Ms. Monet. I'll do that!!!!

RU-Pls, just remember that you are talking about a 6yr relationship. You've gotta take sometime to heal, first before you jump back on the scene, girl. Sometimes us women end relationships and don't take the time to heal. RU, you have been through alot... It hurts when someone isn't truthful with you... You feel like you have been living a lie... Decide if you want to address him about all of this, also. You are going away this wknd? Great! Have fun!!!!

You are right Ms.Monet. I will take it easy. I booked my trip for the last weekend in April. My parents are in florida and a last minute trip costs a lot so I'm going to fly down in 2 weeks, take a taxi to my parents and surprise them. I think that would be nice for all of us! This weekend I am going to go to the gym again!! It will be the 3rd workout since the myo. What a feat for me. hahaha!!! I'm already feeling pounds lighter....yeah right. hahaha!! But i'm looking forward to working some of this aggression out. :-)

RU-Good move. Have fun with the fam! Enjoy this wknd!

Thanks Ms.Monet. You too!!!

ru93: An acquaintance had to deal with a similar issue. All she got out of a stormy long-term relationship was lumps and clusters of growths inside of her. Which goes to explain the theory that bottled up emotions, which ironically sometimes stem from "man-woman" relations are contributary factor to this "menace" under discussion. For her, she waited until she found another man she was ready to have a child with before undergoing the myo ..... so she can avoid a re-growth and can jump right into ttc. (Apparently, she didn't want to gamble with dealing with two successive myos before the the right time came). Can you blame women who opt to go ahead to just have their child solo ....... as long as they're able to take care of their own, without the hustle, hurt and uncertainties that some of these relationships bring to them. Still, in everything there has to be hope.

RU-Hope you had a great wknd. What did you do? Hey, MS POSITIVE! How are you? JOKER, oh Joker. Where are thou, Joker? I don't know. I may try some type of fast or something... I have been under alot of stress in the last 7 months. I wonder if that played a part in my fibroids. I don't know.