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I just snapped today. I'm ignoring the kids completely. I'm scared if I hold/touch/come near them I'm going to do something violent. I phoned my husband at work and told him--he didn't have much to say. Said he'll try to come home early which is 6. Helps me bloody all. I'm scared for myself and the kids. I am soooo tired. I haven't gotten more than about an hour consecutive sleep in the last week. The house---I can't handle this house. It's 30 years old and nobody bothered to clean it in that 30 years. We moved in a couple of months ago and ofcourse I am left to clean it. My husband wouldn't pick up a cloth to wipe things up if it bit him in the ass. This place is filthy and I can't keep up. No matter how much I commit. My son walks behind me and undoes all the organization. I just can't handle it anymore. I clean the kitchen till it's spotless my husband makes coffee and there's coffee grinds anywhere. It's like there's three of them and only one of me---I can't win. I can't get ahead. I don't want any of them to ever touch me again. Just leave me alone, I'm tired of EVERYONE NEEDING bloody something from me, and giving me no appreciation in return. I'm get treated like an asswipe. My daughter is crying and it makes me so sad. I can't handle her crying but I can't help her because I don't want to hurt her. Please help me. This is so messed up.I'm usually pretty sane. I'm sorry.
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You definitely need a break, and soon. I get down and blue like that too, and it seems I can only see the negative, and I feel like I can't take it anymore... are you able to get a babysitter or have someone watch the kids for a day? Just get out of the house by yourself if you can, and go get a ma__sage at a spa, or go shopping, or do something fun just for yourself! I know how you feel about having everyone in the family seeming to be working against you rather than with you... my dh definitely doesn't have any appreciation for how hard it is to keep a house clean and tidy, while doing the mommy thing at the same time. Just let the housework go for awhile... take care of yourself first! I"m sure if you give it some time, and if you can get yourself a break, you'll start feeling like your old self again. But if you don't, make sure you know when you need to get away, and when you need to get help. Good luck!
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Call a crisis response line before something bad happens! TAKE CARE!
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Don't take this the wrong way but you need to seek professional help. My friend had her dd and when she was about 6mo. she had this feeling like she was the worst mother and nothing she did was good enough. She was have PPD late and went to the doctor, he gave her medication and all the thoughts went away and she is doing much better. You defently need sleep and being sleep deprived makes PPD show up even more and for ur DH not to take this seriously I just want to hit him up side the head and say ur wife needs ur help asap. She is crying out and nobody is listening. He should try to take vac from work so you can regain ur self and get the sleep and attention u need. Please talk to a professional. Take Care.
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Smilefull- You need a break. I do to right now. I actually went to my doctors ofice today to talk to him about how I have been feeling. I basically described how I was feeling was that I was lost. I have not had any desire to hurt anyone but I have felt like running away. My dh does not quite get what I am going through either. He is never home and im alone to take care of a 6 week old a 16 month old and a 6 year old. I never have any time for myself. Im having a hard time recovering from my c-section I have been in pain since I have had it and it does not help that Im lugging aroung a toddler. Anyways my doctor prescribed me something today to help me feel better at least I hope it makes me feel better. Just talk to your doctor right away they are there to help. They seem to really listen to how you are feeling. Good Luck I hope you start feeling better.
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Smilefull, how are you doing? I hope you get the help that you need. From your posts you are a very good mom and a nice person in general. Being a mom is very demanding and I only have one child so I really don't know what you are going through. I have bad thoughts sometimes especially after a rough night. Sometimes I avoid my son for awhile, sometimes I feel sad and I always stress about my house. It is very old and it never gets cleaned the way I want it to either. Hang in there. Reach out for some help like you did on here. I believe in you and don't feel bad for your feelings.
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