SO DEPRESSED

12 Replies
Monique - September 3

I jus had a baby last week and I couldnt wait till my pregnancy was over and to meet my little one. I was so happy after I delivered my baby and I wasnt depressed through out my pregnancy. This is my fourth baby. I have a son and the last three by the same guy.. I love him so much but before i got pregnant again we were going out gettin drunk and having a good time as soon as I found out I was pregnant I stop but he didnt.. He comes in the house at what ever time and I tried talkin about it but it drives him further away.. now that the babys here I dont wanna party or stay at home and drink .. my kids need me and I wanna be there for them,, I take them to school and daycare but I 'm so depressed and crying all the time I feel so alone and its so unfair I'm doing this by myself and I got no friends doing the same thing I m doing.. the baby wakes up every 2 hrs and im so tired I had him last week but it feels like a month.. any advice ..

 

Devi0usChiC - September 4

let me say I understand how you are feeling. and how very tired you are. it isnt easy raising little ones by yourself. do you have any family that will help you for awhile with the baby? i myself have no family support or friends and i too get very lonely and depressed.try talking to your guy again and let him know how your feeling you need alot of help after all you didnt make these babies yourself. or perhaps talking to your dr about how you feel he may be able to offer you some advice. i hope all goes well for you take care

 

<Monique - September 5

Thanx I do have my mom which has been good a__sistance she got the baby this weekend and I go get him tuesday but I felt guilty about it and been callin her every hour worried about my baby so he might as well been here wit me but I sent him instead of the other kids so that I could sleep at nite.. I'm thinkin about talkin to my kids daddy again to reconcile our realtionship he asked me to marry him in the hospital after i gave birth but sometimes he annoys me and gets on my nerves and when he's wit me tryin to kiss on me i'd push him out my face cuz his breath smells like beer and I get upset at that, but everyone has it s flaws and i need advice on me excepting him for havin to have a few beers almost every nite..

 

Devi0usChiC - September 9

You know it gets easier I'm sure I just gave birth 2 weeks ago and barely now I'm starting to get really depressed.I have my fiancee and he's really good but he's always gone at work which isn't a bad thing I just have to deal with our 3 kids alone most of the time and now it's starting to get really hard because baby is starting to change his sleeping patterns when i first brought him home he was really quiet and slept pretty good at night but now he's starting to wake more at night and my 14 month old daughter is starting to get jeolous i think cause now she cries alot and wants to be held more so now im feeling really exausted and when my fiancee comes home he usually gets on the computer to play his game which is ok and i end up feeling guilty for getting mad about it because i know he works all day and just wants time to himself but i'd really like some time to myself too. As for your guy, if he wont grow up and be there for you it really isnt the end of the world I know you love him and want to make it work but he has to want it to work too.There are other men out there that will love you and your kids and can be there for you my fiancee isnt my first sons dad but he loves him just as though he was his.I was with my sons dad for 7 years and he was emotinally abusive for along time until he became physically abusive that was when i knew i couldnt stay no more but it hurt so bad because i really wanted it to work. But in the end it was for the better because the guy im with now has never even talked down to me at all. My ex drank too and was addicted to p___nography it was just horrible but i got the strength to leave and so will you if he doesnt grow up....

 

<Monique - September 22

THANX i sorry I havent got back but i been busy takin care of kids and tryin to work on my realtionship , yeah i would leave if he dont grow up and my baby only wakes up once a nite now so everything in the house is calmin down some but i gotta question when will i know enough is enough how do i move on ...he's tryin but only enough to make me deal wit him another day it's been 6 yrs now he's all i know how do i walk away and what's in store for me when and if i do... man the scarest part of life is the unknowed i mean what happens next ya know girl..

 

jimmy - September 22

To be honest, if your man is going out and not giving enough for you and his children then he hasent grown up enough. You need a responsible man taking care of you and your needs. You have to make him understand that having children changes your life makes you more responsible. As for life witrhout him: well for once you will not have to be worried about your man and you will concentrate on your self and your children only. And of course there are many other better men out there that if they love you they will accept you and your children. Dont hesitate to walk away! As for friends, do you have any social centers that women with children meet and do things together? Maybe you could find the support you need there.

 

Devi0usChiC - September 25

Sorry I havent answerd you back.Yes it is scary that's what was the hardest part for me!Not knowing what happens next,I honestly couldn't see myself without him he was all I had and all I knew!but i also knew are relationship was not healthy and to be honest I am not sure what will be enogh for you or when you will know it is enough but for me I knew when I asked myself what it was I loved about him and what besides the fear of being alone is keeping me with him and the answer was nothing!I couldn't find one reason why I loved him anymore, and as the days went by and the more he disrespected me and really wasnt showing me how important I was to him the more I fell out of love until I just couldn't stand him at all anymore he literally made me sick.And I the guy i am with now was being very supportive and I kept asking myself how can this person care for me than this man I've been with for 8 years and had a kid with??I knew it would never get better and he would never change because he was so used the routine, me being angry with him and then forgiving him,Hell I gave him everything and stood by him no matter what and he took that for granted he felt I would never leave and he was right until I just couldn't take it anymore he was literally driving me crazy!!I agree with what jimmy said except for the fact that you can't make your guy understand anything he doesnt want to,in order for your relationship to work he has to want it to,and that's a hard thing to realize but as much as you love him he may not feel exactly the same,we all want to be able to fix our partners and it hurts when we put more effort into the relationship then they do that was another hard part for me and took me forever to finally get!But there is no way he is going to stop if he doesnt want to.Like I said before there are plenty of men out there willing to love you and your kids!! trust me i know first hand! my fiancee is great with my son!And now we have 2 kids together and he's been wonderful he tries as much as he can but even we have our problems at times.no relationship is perfect but love honestly shouldn't hurt!if you have some support maybe you should think about staying with your mom for a couple of days so you and your guy can sort through things.sometimes if you leave for a couple days he will realize how much he misses you and needs you.but let him know you are serious! even if you dont want the relationship to end and feel you cant do without him dont show it because he will play on that and feel that he dont have to change because you arent serious.I hope you are doing well!let me know how it goes best of luck to you

 

devi0us - October 19

hey there just checing in on you to see how you are doing! I hoe everything is well for you take care..

 

>Monique - November 1

Hey DeviOus you gave some good advice to here from another guy is wonderful but most women know that they cant make a man understand ..well ive been busy wit the kids and all ..even though this computer is right in dinning room i have had the time to get on it and my email box is so full its crazy.. but i jus broke it off wit the guy i planned to marry we was 2gether for 569yrs and had 3 kids but i need 2 do whats bests for my little ones cuz it aint about me no more its all for them they miss there daddy we broke up last week and he hasnt' called or come to get them.. they use to see him everyday sittin on da couch doing a whole bunch of nothin .. im lonely as ever but had alot of fun takin kids trick ot treatin.. i know my realtionship wasnt healthy ,, i jus wonder if i did him a favor by breakin it off cuz now he's free and im stuck ,, he probably shacked up wit another girl ,, but i jus wonder did i do right for my kids but i was so tired of tryin to get some understand he didnt have to agree wit me jus understand that party was my life before the kids i cant to it no mo I love my kids and they need at least one sober adult in there life.

 

apple - November 10

u did whats best for the kids, the longer he is gone the easier it will be for you 2 get over go. u can do it you are a strong woman thats why god made us so different from man because we are strong.

 

aisha regan - November 30

i,m stared help

 

K - November 30

WHATS WRONG?

 

>MONIQUE - January 17

Still staying strong and I didnt let the loser guy back all the family holidays are pa__sed and he didnt get the kids send money or get them anything..when he calls he wanna takl to me instead of them.. what a loser.. i had to kick him out to realixe he was jus shackin up wit me ..all alone im bringin in children into this world who didnt ask to be here... it cool though me and the kids got our on routine now and it still gets lonely at nite sometimes but i gave my life to JESUS CHRIST and i have no reason to be SO DEPRESSED... so what ever U new mommys are going through if this forum dont help remember that GOD will and he knows exactly what your going through for ur his creation and take care of the gifts he gave to u meaning the kids because they didnt ask to be here!

 

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