Is This Normal For The Dad
3 Replies
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my husband seems to only focus on the baby. it's as if i became wallpaper. one of the main reasons he stays home is to help me recover so i can take care of the baby when he goes back to work since we dont have family here. i have a hard time moving around etc. and can't do much for myself and he had neglected to make sure we had meals to eat etc. so i got upset and told him & he is aware of it now & is alot better. when i was pregnant he was more about me now that the baby is here i started to feel left out. is that normal for the dad to just be so focused on the baby?? it takes away my motivation to ever have more kids for him if i am going to just fade away in the background.
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I have been going thru this. I have just communicated with him after being upset by his behavior. As well he has tried to correct. I also found that the other night I crawled into bed and cuddled him, rubbed his neck, and showed him some attention-he has been wonderful since. I wonder if they go thru the same thing. Thinking we have forgot them since we are the main caregivers of our lo. just food for thought.
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thanks for the response reblurich. things have gotten better, alot better. to where i feel bad for even pointing it out! he has been great ever since and now i feel guilty for saying something to him. isn't that strange? oh well, it's either i say something and things get better or i end up resenting him this whole time. and the pampering does help. i give my husband ma__sages alot, (i know he should pamper me), but it has helped him feel good which i think in return gives him incentive to try harder. i just hate it how i always end up feeling like the bad guy for pointing things out...
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You know, I felt this way for about the first 4 weeks or so after having Justin. I felt totally out of whack and I felt sad that I didn't seem as important as the baby, and that made me feel selfish or self-centered for feeling that way, which made it worse. I think it will go away for you and you should be very happy your hubby is so focused on your baby. Just think how you would feel if he wasn't?? Men just see things completely differently sometimes and he probably sees it as the baby needing all the attention, which he does. YOu need it too, but to him, he sees you had your healthy baby already and his main concern is for the baby. I'm sure he loves you and is just as interested in you as before. I think hormones make you think a little different too. Don't worry. I think you'll have a couple more kids together!!
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