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There are support groups for patients who experienced what you did during surgery...so you might want to look into that for some therapy/support/etc. Don't take it out on your husband or baby! Good luck and I hope you find someone who has been in your shoes to help you through this.

I did not have c-section but v____al birth. I had an epidural - it did not work. i was in so much pain and the nurses and doctor told me i was not in pain and quit exaggerating. they did give me more and more of the epidural but it never worked. i was only 20 and had never been to gyno before i found out i was pregnant. at the end of 26 hours when they took me to delivery room i got up and switched myself to the delivery table from labor bed. Nurses and doctor watched in horror - they said i shouldn't be able to move from waist down. I told them - I told you epidural didn't work. They said it was some kind of problem with my body and it doesn't work on me. Pain was so bad I never wanted another baby. Got pregnant by mistake this past October. 20 years later. I am still scared. My son is 20 and I still remember the pain. Am so afraid of this next birth in June. But please don't take it out on your husband. I am sure he loves you and just feels helpless. Be sweet to him and he will return your sweetness. In the meantime try and find a support group. Good luck!

thank you for replying.i hope if we manage to get it together and forget and have another child that i wont have flashbacks.feel awful for you salk.why do they do this?my husband too is put off...cant bear for me to suffer again.tried today to be normal but felt so false.please a__sist me with support groups if you know of any.thanks

Google "waking during surgery"....I found tons of articles w/ stories similar to yours...I'd post the links but it's not letting me...I'm having some trouble finding specific info about support groups...but I know they're out there....I saw a program on TV called "silent screams" ....try checking into that maybe I also had issues w/ my epidural...during v____al delivery as well...it was only working on my right side and they couldn't figure out why...I know it was a bad experience...but the chances of anything like that occuring again are VERY slim and you should let it prevent you from having more children.

thank you..i will check that out.started the antidepressants and am so busy i just have to stifle the memories cos i am alone.it's helpful though to receive support from people like you.

OMG I can't believe this happened to someone else. I am so sorry. I had a C-section in November after 19 hours of labor and the same thing happened to me. I didn't feel it in the beginning until they removed my son, but as soon as they started putting everything back I felt it. I was crying and slurring but able to tell them and they kept shooting me up with stuff but I felt them st_tching me up and said it was hot spots. To sew me they had to shoot me with Lidocaine (which they give for teeth) and I felt the shots. Plus I had bladder trauma and peed blood for two days (a lot). I already told my doctor that if I ever get pregnant again and have a c-section that they are doing general anesthesia. I was crying hysterically but couldn't open my eyes and see the baby because, like you, I was drugged too much to open my eyes but in excruciating pain. I was very traumatized too. The thing to remember is that you could have just been the type that gets hot spots like me and unfortunately now you know so next time you can make sure they do too. Oh, and fire your gyn-they shouldn't treat you like you are crazy when you went through such a traumatizing experience. Mine was really understanding and kept insisting that the anesthesiologist just do whatever it took. She was really great and even came by to talk to me about it in the hospital. You are probably good to be on the antidepressants though for now because with the stress of that plus the premature baby and everything you probably are full out postpartum depression and post traumatic stress disorder. I was...feel better and heal fast, and know that you are not alone. :)