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Melissa, I'm very sorry to hear about that! Have you tried to talk to him calmly? Has he had time to grieve? I've never been through anything like this before, so I can only make suggestions, could he go away for the weekend with some guy friends that you trust and they could talk to him or you two get away, or you can go to a church and they should have free counseling. The most important thing I've learned is to never use the word YOU, (as in saying well if YOU didn't do this or that) when you use that word it puts up a wall between you two and they get defensive. Ask if there is anything you can do to help him. Tell him how you feel. I pray that things will get better for you very soon, bc you being pg don't need the added stress, also tell him how you feel about his att_tude and the baby. Take one day at a time. ~Tiffany

Hey girl... I think it is just his way of dealing with it. My hubby acts the same way when he has a problem. Its not you, your just there for him to throw it on. He is using you to relieve the anger because your the one that he can dish it on, maybe because he knows you best. Took me about 4 years with my hubby to realize that is how he does things as well. Especially if he had a real bad day at work. He yells at me. I would sit down and talk to him more so about him not going to alcohol. Yet, be understanding. He is going through a tough time right now. Please know that he does love you dearly and the baby on the way. If you left him because of this, he would break down. He needs you right now!! Even if he is being an a__s at this time. Maybe the 2 of you need to get out and do something fun and relaxing for a weekend. It might help.

Did this all start right after the deaths?? I just hope its not like my friends that sounded the same with her hubby, that he is talking to someone else. NOT AT ALL trying to put anything in your mind, I am sure its not. I just don't want to see you get hurt at all, you have to take care of this precious baby in you. I think you really need to have a serious talk with him. Is there any way you can try?? Some men are complete a__ses and when you try, they just lash back and dont want to hear it... yet, I am sure there is some way you might be able to get through to him without any yelling or arguing. The best thing you can do right now is to NOT yell back at him. That is what he wants. He wants to start / pick a fight with you. Most men use their wives or children for that. Is he also yelling at his son more now?? ALso, have you thought about any kind of counseling?? Or is your man too stubborn?? I know mine is the most stubborn man in the world and would never go to that. Yet, we had a fight around Christmas time and I said divorce or counseling... He didn't think I was serious, so I went to talk to the lawyer on base (you know what I'm talking about) and told him that he needs to see the legal advisory as well because I am not playing around. We filled out the paper work and that night he actually started crying. First time in my life I have ever seen him do that. EVER! He started shaking and said he didn't realize what I meant to him and how he was treating me was so unacceptable and not worth losing me over. Then he said he would do WHATEVER to keep me and so, we signed up for the counseling cla__ses. They really programed him how to treat a wife. He has been wonderful now and also let a lot of stuff out. Maybe your hubby really needs that right now to get deep below the surface and let out whats really going on.

daniella, i tried the ultimatum thing, divorce doesn't scare him, because both of his parents did it multiple times, and there's no real threat. his son is still living with his mother, so he isn't here. but i'm sure if he was, DH would be yelling at him too. this morning, i had to take DH to work, cuz i have a dr's appt, and he's trying to get off work early to go with me, so i think it's just some of the grief stuff going on. most of the time now, he's just seriously PMS'ing, just always b___hy. but maybe after the appt.... i am 27 weeks today, and i think they told me this is the one where they give you the glucose test, right? i just ate some cheerio's so hopefully that won't mess up the results. well, i need to go get the hubby. thanx Daniella! how's your baby boy doing? dropped yet? when's DH due home? ~Melissa

Hey... I wasn't using the divorce to scare my hubby. lol.. I was dead serious! I told him that I am not a woman that will put up with the c___p he did (we wont go there, lol) and I am also not going to stay with him just because I am pregnant. Too many woman are afraid to be on their own if such a situation happens when they're pregnant. ANyhow, I am glad to report that we didn't end up going through with it because he realized I am the best thing that has happened to him. We really do have a great loving relationship and he will be an awesome dad... already has been and our son isn't even here yet. I am sure time will heal this pain you have by your hubby. He has gone through a lot and I am sure he also has a bit hidden fear there about this upcoming baby. As long as he doesn't get into any bad long term habits, I am sure everything will come back together. __Ok, as far as the glucose test.. yea, you can eat before it. Its going to be a cup of sugar water. Mine was like concentrated orange pop syrup. Just like a thick orange soda drink. You have to sip for one hour. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Anyhow, are you getting that 3D scan done?? Its real neat and then you will also know 100% that its a girl. I remember you saying that thats what they said, right?? Anyhow, good luck on your apt. !!

Hi Ladies, a friend of mine told me of this website, and i was net even aware it existed. Rachel I am astonished to find out that somebody else has had the same expereince as myself. I fell pregant July 2005 and this was my 3rd pregancy. I had an ectopic pregancy 3 years earlier which resulted in being an ectopic and I lost my left tube. I fell pregnant two years later and discovered this whilst holidaying iN New Zealand and unforunately had a bad fall whilst there and misccaried a few days later. 7 months latser I fell again and was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy, I was taken to theatre, in which they discovered my tube was clear, and when I awoke they said I have an ovarian ectopic, and that this was very rare and only happens to on average one woman per year and that I was special. I did not feel very special, I was heartbroken. I was advised to have the methotrexate as the baby could not survive outside the uterus in which I fully understood. 2 weeks later my levels were still rising in which resulted in me having another scan. Whilst having a scan there was swearing, sweating, flapping going on by the radiology staff, and I knew that a mistake had been made. I was sent back to emergency where I was advised to have another shot of methotrexate. My husband asked the Doc if I was pregnant and we were told no, my husband asked again has my wife got a pregnancy in her uterus in which the doctor again replied no. I did not believe them and refused the treatment. My husband wanted me to have the treatment as he was concerned about my health with the ectopic. The followng day I got a 2nd opinion and there was our baby and a healthy pregnancy sac in my uteres. I was advised by the radiologist to go public, but to date I have not done this. I understand that a pregnancy cannot survive outside the uterus, but I do urge women to be aware and ensure that you have been given the correct diagnosis before they put that poison into your body. I fell p/g again 10 weeks later, but the pregnancy did not even make 5 weeks. it is nice to read the positive stories that alot fo you ladies have read, and I also know that alot of you ladies experience the heartbreak. I hope you don't mind me joining in on the chats. Hope to be able to talk some more soon. Shanks

Shanks- yes, that doctor is an absolute idiot!!! The chances of having a tubal ectopic is rare, and even more rare to have an ovarian ectopic.... but, to have a tubal and then an ovanian is unheard of. A tubal ectopic pregnancy doesn't increase your chances of another ectopic somewhere else. What a moron!!! Too many doctors think ectopic the moment that they don't see anything in the uterus. You sound like me though (except for the false ovarian ectopic).... I had lost a total of 3 pregnancies. My first one was Feb. 03' I had an ectopic in my right tube and almost lost my life. I also did end up losing that tube and was told my left tube looked great. It took almost 2 years to get pregnant again and I lost that one real early. 6 months after that I got pregnant again and the heartbeat stopped at about 12 weeks along and ended up having a D&C. That was July 16th, 05'. The next month I ovulated for the first time once my HCG went down to 0 (no period in between) and I conceived. I am now 35 weeks with a healthy boy. SO, hang in there!!!! Sometimes it takes time, but in the end its well worth it. If I were you though I would go forward with taking that idiot doctor under. You surely wouldn't want him to do this to another patient. OH by the way... the reason I had the losses is because I wasn't producing enough progesterone on my own. SOmething you might want to look into. I started the supplements right away with this one and that is the only reason I am this far. Do a google search and look up "luteal phase defect" progesterone is the hormone that works with HCG and keeps it a good number, plus it helps keep the lining of your uterus nice and thick for implantation. Good luck!!!

Hi there! I had a d&c one week ago, though my dr. suspected ectopic. My levels did not decline very fast at all this past week, so at my appt today the dr scheduled me for a methotrexate injection (tomorrow). He's worried of a rupture. I thought I was totally fine with all of this and now I'm scared to death. I just want to be pregnant again you know? My dh and I have decided we'll try as soon as we can. I've read you need to wait 3 months after an injection, but my dr said that is a myth. I do trust my dr, but I just don't want to mess anything up (again). Any advice on how long to wait?

cbella- well, I know a lot of woman who got pregnant within 3 months after the injection and ended up miscarrying again with no known reason. So, even though they may not be sure it hurts a pregnancy within the 3 months after, they really aren't sure that it doesn't either. Quick question though, yet first... I am so sorry about your loss. I had a D&C in July and got pregnant 5 weeks after it (my levels took a while to come down also, but it wasn't an ectopic) and this has been my best pregnancy. Ok.... so for the questions.... what what your HCG when they did the D&C?? How far were you and what did they see on the scan?? Did they think it was just a blighted ovum?? They had to of seen a gestational sac in the uterus to do a D&C, correct?? Last question... what did your HCG decline down to??

Thank you for your concern Daniella...it helps as my nerves are all over the board right now. I'll start from the beginning...I went to the dr first at 3wpc. I was told I was 6 weeks but I know I o'd 3 weeks after the start of my last af. My levels were 120 then and 48 hrs later were 180. This concerned the dr as they weren't going up fast enough. 2 days later (at the ER) I found that my level was 166 and was told I was m/c and it was NOT ectopic. My dr. disagreed the next day as my levels went up again to 240. The d&c was recommended and performmed the next day (last wed.) mainly to decide if it was ectopic. (I've had many u/s with nothing found anywhere) If pg tissue was found then it was just a m/c, if not it was ectopic. No tissue was found (great) so we continued monitoring my levels. I could have gotten the meth injection last week, but I wanted to see if my body could deal with this on its own. Now, 1 week later, my level is 123...it's declining but my dr says I should be below 20 by now. I'm scared and frustrated right now. I would like my body to just go back to normal! I am feeling sharp pain on my left side, which is the side of my ectopic and there is a strange pain in my right shoulder. I've read that is a HUGE red flag, but it's just a weird pain and I don't know if I'm exaggerating it b/c of what I've read. Plus I just went to the dr and wouldn't he have seen something on the u/s??? He has never said anything about a blighted ovum...what is that? I hope I explained my situation ok. Thanks for caring.

Oh by the way...congrats on your pregnancy!!! You must be due pretty soon. That's fantastic! :)

cbella- my question is why did they do a D&C if there wasn't anything in the uterus??? That really concerns me. No, you would not see anything on an ultrasound if your HCG is under 2000. Also, you said you have an ectopic in your left tube, how do you know?? Anyhow, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to take the methotrexate if they can't figure out whats going on and you know for sure the pregnancy isn't going to make it. Oh real quick to add to your timing.. you said you were 3 weeks post ovulation but the doctor said you were about 6 weeks... you have to add 2 weeks gestation. They go by how far you are gestation, not conception. SO, if your 3 weeks post conception, you are really 5 weeks gestation. Does that make sense?? Or you probably already know that. Sorry! but anyhow, how would they know that if your HCG wasn't showing right nor was the scan!? They dont! They just go by your LMP. So, if you ovulated week 3 instead of week 2 after AF.... then you would be 5 weeks, not 6.

Daniella, I appreciate your input and congrats and good luck with your p/g. Cbella I was advised that I should not fall p/g again for 3 months. When I was was first diagnosed with ovarian ectopic I went and see a IVF specialist as it was advised I am better of to use IVF to prevent further ectopics. This specialist stated he would start IVF after 3 months. After discovering it was in the uterus and I went and see another specialist who was absolutely mortified over my experience and ended up doing my d/c, he advised me to wait 3 months. A mentioned previous I was p/g after 10 weeks, but I lost straight away. The specialist said it could of been the metho or it could of been natural, but it is unknown.Shanks

Shanks- yea, you dont need to do the IVF. Your doctor was an idiot (which you know).... yea, you had an ectopic in the one tube, but its removed now and the other one is clear.. PLUS you did just have a pregnancy in the uterus. SO, you don't need to do the IVF. Especially since the one tube is clear. My first pregnancy was an ectopic and I lost the tube. The 3 pregnancies after that one was all in the uterus because my remaining tube was fine. :) SO please stay strong and don't lose hope!!!

I'm sorry to hear about your losses!! I had an ectopic in Oct-Nov of 05. I had about 5 u/s and they never seen anything on any of them. I had a D & C to have the tissue tested to see if it was fetal tissue and it came back -, so I had the metho shot and the very next day I was in the er for emergency surgery to remove the fetus and my left tube, they finally saw it on the u/s. My levels were 1400 and I was 9 weeks pg. I was told to wait 3 months and that my right side looked good, but my new Dr. also said that I would have to have infertility drugs to get pg again bc I'm so irregular and since I lost the one tube, my cycles are not normal! To cebella-if you get to the point where you are doubled over in pain-- go to the er immediately!!! I have a high pain tollerance but thank God I went in bc my tube was about to rupture and I could have bled to death!! Good luck to all. I am on cd 18 after a round of clomid this cycle!! My prayers are with you all! ~Tiffany

Hi Ladies! Well- I am 19 weeks today! Yah! I am doing well! I have gained 17 pounds though! YIKES! I have never been over 100 pounds! Oh well! I had my u/s on Friday too! It went great! I didn't fingd out the s_x though! I wish now I did! Melissa, Jessica, Lajaune where are you guys? I hope everyone is doing well! Talk soon! :)