Pregnancy Info HOME

Hi, I just had my 4th child at 39 in April and found out I am pregnant again. I turned 40 in June. My mother had me her fifth 2 weeks shy of her 44th birthday. Let me ask you the child you had when you were 47 did you conceive naturally. I ask this because I have heard that after 45 the ovaries stop producing viable eggs in all but an exception of women but I have know 47 year olds that have had surprise pregnancies with their own eggs so I don't know how much I believe that. Do you know if you are ovulating?

confused- before you have anymore children you should seriously think about the future..... 25-30 years down the line. i think its great that you were able to have abother baby at 47, however, i do recommendyou not having anymore. you are at the age where you shoukld be thinking about being a grandmother not a new mommy. i know its fun to have your own but you arent going to be around forever and its hard enough to have to bury a parent when your are 40,50 or 60. but could you imagine having to bury a parent in your 20's? i know that is a very dark way to look at things but it is realitive.

Billsgirl...age is not everything. Who the hell wants to be a grandmother?? Why should a woman who is 49 like being a grandmother more than a mother? I am 40 and have NO desire to become a grandmother. I am way too young for that and frankly find grandparents to be overrated anyway. Just FYI...my dd watched her father die right in front of her two months ago...she was 20..he was only 48. My own father who had me at age 33 died when I was 18. Just because you are an older parent doesn't mean you are decrepid. It's very upsetting to me to see young parents say things like you did here because you have some idea that being older than your 20s relegates you to being "Grandma" That's c___p! By the way...I go on the same rampages to older women who point accusing fingers at young moms too. I was a young mom myself....now I will be an older mom. Seems I never did find the "normal" time to have kids...lol. Anyway...I think we should support each other on these boards...that is my point. Oh and I beat my dd armwrestling when she had come straight outta bootcamp. Not some weak old lady like you may think. Just wait until YOU are older and you will understand...we are not all dry and used up! Peace:)

God lord docbytch... take it down a few nothches. im sorry that you and your daughter both had to watch your dad die. that is a horrible thing and i dont wish that on anyone. all i was doing was giving my opinion. everyone is not going to agree with it and i dont expect them to. that is the great thing about being adults is seeing all sides of things. that is my opinion and its not going to change because you come here and tell me your opinion. btw- i dont consider my self one of the younger moms. i am 29 and have a 12 year old. i would love to have more but even i think i may be chancing it. i am sorry if i upset you or confused, i was not meaning to come off in anyway other than opinionated. i guess i could have taken more time to write this morning so i could have expressed mysefl in a more delicate fashion. i do wish you all the best of luck!

I gave you a peace :) at the end of my post so you would simply see that I was being a bit opinionated in my post as well...wasn't trying to offend you. Although your post p__sed me off a bit. Many people seem to be under the impression that 40s are OLD. They're not! No one tends to realize this though until THEY have reached that age. Peace again:)

I am not trying to get you to change your opinion...but perhaps to be a little more supportive of the older women who, unlike you, are not of the same mindset that being late 30s to 40s makes having a child no longer an option. I really wish to support all women here...and tend to get my panties in a wad when I see posts that aren't. I've also given support to young moms too. We are all trying for the same thing here aren't we? Baby dust to you all

Wow, I didn't mean to start a small riot (lol), but understand what you're all saying. billsgirl, while "statistically" speaking, a child born to a mother who's older wouldn't expect to see the parent for as long as a child born to the mother at a younger age, as docbytch pointed out very well, life doesn't always follow statistics. Besides, as you've probably noticed from many of the other posts on this site, grandparents do a LOT of childrearing for their grandchildren. Insofar as becoming a grandmother, none of my grown children (I have four adult children from my first marriage) are married, and some aren't even in relationships, so that doesn't seem to be something that will happen too soon. CARLY67, to answer your question, yes, I conceived my fifth child naturally. I've never heard about not producing viable eggs (with rare exception) after age 45. And, as far as I know, I'm still ovulating. I have regular menses.

By the way, docbytch, did I read your post correctly, too...your husband (or ex?) died in front of your 20-year old daughter two months ago? I'm sorry!! But, you're SO right...life doesn't always (or usually, as I've found) follow one strict set of rules.

Hi there - ConfuseD, I think you should do follow your intuition on this and try again if you like. If the egg and sperm make a good match and you have a bundle of joy nine months later, then I applaud you. My grandmother had my mother when she was 46, and I'm sure glad she did - I wouldn't be here otherwise! Sadly, she died just two years later, at 48, but that can happen to anyone anytime. my dh's mom died at 54, and she had her babies at "the normal time" in her early 20s... didn't do anything to help her become a grandmother... Finally, billsgirl, you may reply to docbytch by saying you were just giving your opinion, but when you "recommend" and then follow it by implying it's selfish to want to have more, it feels a lot less like an opinion and more like you are pa__sing judgement. that's not always so helpful.

Dob I just want to ask you if I understand the last response of yours correctly. You say if your only option was to use donar eggs you could not do it because you would be crushed not to be able to reproduce biologically with your dh, does that mean if that was the case you would divorce him because you somehow feel that he has something with his ex that makes her more special to him? I heard another woman say this and while I understand wanting that bond with a new husband there are many second and third marraiges where the couples do not have children together but they still are very much in love and the dh has no feelings of love for his wife even though they had children together. Having children together is terrific but for women that can't I don't think they should think that their dh somehow thinks more of their ex. Do you know what I mean? By the way I just had a baby with my second husband and we just found out I am pregnant again so I know how special that bond is but I know a lot of other couples who are madly in love and do not have children with each other but with previous spouses and I don't think for a minute the spouses would rather be with their exes or think more of them. I hope I made sense.

Carly...Yes you understood my post correctly. Had we not been able to biologically produce a child would not have meant my divorcing him. I love my dh a ton. He's not in love with his ex either. But I would not have attempted to have a child with him if the child could not be our own biological child. Just my own belief. His ex and I are not friends and perhaps because I dislike her a lot may have something to do with the idea that my ego would have been horribly bruised had we been unable to become naturally pregnant. As it was...he DID undergo the vasectomy reversal in order to try with me....when before while married to the ex he had had the surgery to ensure no more children with her. Petty for me to think this way? Maybe so...but I cannot help how I feel about it. Every woman is different I guess. Regardless...I would love my dh very much even had we been unable...but we would not have attempted adoption or donor egg IVF. Most 40 yo women still have perfectly good eggs anyway.

Hi - if you're getting pregnant in your late mid and late forties naturally, I can't see how it's anybody's decision (doctors and clergy) but yours and your husband's to go ahead and try! What, if you walk into the OB's office announcing that you're pregnant, they're going to say, "sorry, too old - go have it in your bedroom?" I'm thinking not. You sound like a very rare and fertile woman who's flouting the statistics! If, however you are considering fertility treatments and such, I do believe that anyone willing to take your money at age 49 should not be trusted.

Just because we CAN do something and just because we WANT to do something doesn't necessarily mean it's the right thing to do. At some point I think of each us need to ask ourselves if our decision will impact another negatively. If it does and we still decide to do it then there is the possibility we are just being selfish. I do not think these boards are necessarily about supporting the decision of others 100%. I've seen many women over the months complain when a post turns controversial and shame on the woman who turns it that way. Being nice and being 100% supportive when we believe it could jeapardize a child is irresponsible. It shows, in my opinion, a lack of character. The global perspective of that behavior is that the world will go to hell in a hand basket if no one is every held to any standard. IT's OKAY TO HAVE OPINIONS, EVEN HERE! (-: That is not meant to look like I am yelling. So ConfuseD, while the final decision is yours, I think that it is time to put your needs to the back burner and focus on your current children and when the time is right enjoy the gifts of grandparent hood. It's not natural to fear the prospect of grandparenthood. That said, enjoy it while boating, hiking, and anything else your body will still let you perform.

Countrymom dontcha think you're being a little hypocritical to advise ConfuseD to NOT have anymore children (gently...albeit...you did advise it) when you are only 7 yrs younger? What is the cutoff age then...in your opinion? Why is it okay for you to have a baby and yet for her the same rules do not apply? Is it because she has kids? I don't think that makes a difference at all. I also don't think anyone is AFRAID persee of grandparenthood. For me...I just don't WANT to be one. I guess it's the final nail in your coffin of "Kiss your youth goodbye" Just my opinion. If a person wishes to have and love a child at any age, that is, in my mind, commendable. Women were meant BIOLOGICALLY to have the ability to reproduce for a long time. Why else does menopause not happen usually until the 50s? Just an FYI...I am not attempting to start an argument with you... Your post, coming from an older mom like me...struck me as odd. Baby dust to all

I do indeed feel there is a cutoff point. But I think the more telling question is do you? I saw great apprehension in your words with the prospect of being a grandparent. And I think you do fear-- somehow you equate grandparenthood with the loss of vitality and the prospect of growing closer to death. My opinion of course, as there is no way for me to know your heart. I respectfully must disagree with your idea of what is commendable.

I understand your point countrymom. Grandparents have never been any part of my life and I downplay their importance. Am I afraid of becoming one? No. Just don't particularly relish it. But I wonder why you think it's not such a good idea for ConfuseD here to try for a baby when in fact I have read several of your posts stating that you will deliver at age 42 and then try AGAIN for another. I have absolutely no problem with you doing that of course...as I am 40 myself and due in Oct. But why do you have a problem with ConfuseD? What IS that cutoff? Then...WHY is that the cutoff? Just a respectful debate here!