Is My Dad Competing With Me
3 Replies
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My dad is 40. His wife is 33. I got married when I was 19, and in the Navy, stationed 3,000 miles away. At 19 I found out dad and his wife had another (their 4th) baby. I didn't get to meet him til he was 1. I am now pregnant and due in Sept. I told my dad back in April. Now he tells me I am going to have another sister in January. So my daughter will have an Aunt, YOUNGER than she is......so I have 6 younger siblings, 4 of them I am really close with and know them like the back of my hand, as I practically helped raise them. And another 2, which I will NEVER know. I would like to have known and loved all of my brothers and sisters, but I guess that is too much to ask for....thanks... a lot dad, how many more? I get to have a daughter, but I have lost 2 siblings....
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 | . - July 6 |
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Why in the world have you lost 2 siblings? Your parents still have their own lives to live and enjoy and experience just like you have yours. Is theirs supposed to stop, just because you are living yours? You sound a bit bitter and selfish. Maybe this isn't about your siblings but your own personal relationship with your dad. You still have a whole family and the only reason you would lose your younger siblings is because you walked away from them over a grudge. Celebrate your own life and enjoy it, but don't condemn your father for STILL living his.
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you DO realize that siblings are supposed to have a relationship right? I was always really close with mine. And by having kids after I joined the military (IE being really far away for 6 years) He basically said I cant have that. Its not just that, I left a lot out. We dont really talk anymore because he doesnt approve of my marriage, the only time he ever talks to me is to tell me hes having more babies...
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I can understand that we are not getting the true and full picture here - there are obviously a lot of details that you have left out. It is hard not to feel hurt or left out of family situations when you are obviously so far away geographically. I am a 37 year old step-mom, my husband has 2 daughters from a previous relationship (13 and 10) and we have a 5 year old together - expecting our 2nd in November. My husband's daughters and my son do not share as close a relationship as I would like. But it is not something I can force. I am grateful for the relationship that they do have. Will they be forever in each other's lives? I don't know. That is up to them. To an outside observer, such as myself, it does not appear that your father is trying to compete with you. I think that he is living his life - he's married to a woman who is still of child bearing years and she naturally will want children with him. Of course there is a lot more to your story and perhaps that is where the hurt comes from. It would be hurtful too if your relationship with your Dad is not that close and he only seems to call to tell you about another pregnancy. I think it is wonderful that you want to have such a close relationship with your siblings. Don't lose sight of that - keep working towards that and don't forget, you have your own life to live too.
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