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Hello- This is my first time on this site and forum. I am currently 39 and have been married 5 years. In the beginning me and my husband agreed we did not want children. Now I have changed my mind and would like to have at least one child. I discussed it with my husband and he is open to it too. My husband is 35. At this time we are having a house being built and hopefully it will be done by the end of summer. I did not want to start trying until we have moved into our new house. I also wanted to give myself at least 3 months or more to give me a chance to get healthy and I wanted to go see a doctor about prenatal check up. Because I am 39 and would be 40 when I would have the baby I wanted to do everything I could to make sure I had a healthy pregnancy. I think though I have read too much and I am now worried because of my age that I will have a baby with Down Syndrome. We would accept the baby regardless, but as you all know, we would like to have a healthy baby. Because of this worry now I am second guessing my decision to even try. Any feed back would be appreciated.
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I think pregnancy at this age is a real challenge. I am newly 39 and am currently 23w4d. This is my 4th pregnancy, with no live births (we started this at 37). The challenges that come with age are a HUGE pain, and the chromosomal risks are bigger. Nature tends to "take care" of the problem, and it's a gut wrenching process when that happens. That being said, we did not give up and kept our heads up and humor (if you can believe that!). Go for it, get yourself on the pre-natals and get started as soon as possible. Expect (but don't be freaked) with some bumps in the road. Try to get your "head" in the right place, just in case of disappointment. When you do get pregnant, take the tests offered to you early on and opt for the amnio if you are concerned with Down's in any way. Due to age, some of these tests will come back with a high probabilty for Downs no matter what, so the amnio will rule that out entirely and you can relax a little. Once you get past that, around 15-16 weeks, it's not too hard, just waiting and getting bigger. All of our tests are healthyy and show a girl. We know she will probably be our only child and we're excited. We have had 13 fun years of marriage with lots of travel and are darned ready to move on to this next venture in life! At this age, the probability of having a safe and healthy pregnancy actually outweigh the risks, but I wish someone would have prepared me upfront - I was a bit clueless that anything could go worng. I wish you the best of luck, and a very happy, healthy and incredibly boring pregnancy. (By the way, get a Clear Blue Easy Digital fertility monitor to track ovulation - like I said, there is not much time for you to play with. Buy a used one eBay, seriously).
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well said MelissaK! We started trying at 34 and at 36 my dd was born. I never expected to miscarry or have problems and don't want this post to seem negative. Our daughter is wonderfully perfect and has been a blast! Planning - I have the same questions as you when it comes to trying for number 2. The worry never ceases....just do all you can to be healthy, ask questions about folic acid, progesterone levels, etc...
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Thank you for the encouraging words.
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You are not too old. Not at all. Since time immemorial have women been birthing children well into their 40s. It used to be that a woman spent virtually her entire adult life either pregnant, nursing, or weaning her kids. Back in those days there was little known about the risks of being older. But most women who become naturally pregnant after age 35 will still go on to have healthy babies.
I am 40 and 22 weeks pg with a boy. Had amnio because I knew we couldn't raise a child with downs and would have terminated if that were the case. He is just perfect and so far all ultrasounds have looked very good. This pg seems harder than my daughter's was....but she was born in 1986 and I have little recollection of what the pg was even like. The birth sucked. Now..being wiser in the ways of medicine I can be a better pt advocate for myself...a primary advantage for women who have kids somewhat later than average. The medical profession tends to take us more seriously which is a good thing.... Not so when I had my daughter at 19.
There is no reason to not at least try. Don't let the negative things others say get you down either. Truly...if you are meant to bear a child...you will.
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Also...FYI...last year my husband had a vasectomy reversal (his kids are 11 and 14) and this is my second pg. While the first ended in m/c at 7 weeks...this one seems solid as a rock!
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Hi there, I just got my positive poregnancy test after 15 months of ttc. I turned 38 in May. I have 3 kids ages 11,6 and 3. I think we all experience some form of stress and fear when it finally happens. Goodness, I;ve been ttc for 15 months, got my positive last night and have lied in bed all night fretting..instead of rejoicing. I guess what I'm trying to say, is Go for it! If this is what you really want..take a step out in faith and go for your dream. You most likely have feelings of fear of Downs etc, I know I am this a.m. But chances are all will go just fine. Good luck
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