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Shea- I commend you on wanting it all. I am an accountant and with my first I felt the same way you do. Once she was born, that changed. I wanted no one to raise her but me. Unfortunately we just had a home built and I had to go back full-time. I think that I spoiled her very much out of guilt. I got divorced and remarried and had a second child. My husband was making great money so I thought that I would stay home for a short while. Day care costs for 2 are very expensive. If you work primarily because you enjoy it, great. If you must work, that's a different story. Day care costs eat up a good portion of your salary. My youngest is 4 and I am due with another son Oct 28th. I am looking forward at getting back to work but I do love being with my kids. Don't get me wrong, it's a huge adjustment. You miss your career life and adult conversation. They are only small for a short while. My degree and career will always be there. One of my friends is in sales for a major drug company in NY. It took her 6 years to become pregnant. She kept saying she was going to stay home and no one beleived her. She quit a $200,000.00 year job to stay home with her baby. He point was that she has been more successful and made more money than she ever thought she would so....why not. Anywhere she goes after baby will be a bonus.

Hi Shea, I am an engineer, and plan on staying at work after baby. ( I am 24 weeks with baby #4) I love my job, it's fabulous. I work with people I like, am an expert on the system so it's a low stress job, have adjustable hours, and basically wont leave til they drag me out or the job goes under! I am also 34, and have three older children 14,13 and 13 - I had these when I was in the Navy and staying home wasn't an option. I went back to work at 6 weeks after birth, dont regret it and plan on doing the same with this one. I find it makes me a better person. I adore my girls, spoil them rotten, and they have a great life, and mommy working is just one of the facts of it. There are definately times I feel the want to slow down and relax a little and stay home with new baby, but I just enjoy my life and my family the way it is... hectic and crazy and all! :)

Hi Shea I am 35yrs and 14wks pregnant with my 3rd and yes I am looking forward to having this baby but after my maturnity leave I will be back to work full time I too like my job and though I love my kids more than anything I still enjoy getting out and going to work I am lucky my mother is going to be able to keep the baby so he/she will not have to go right into daycare for atleast a year or 2 but I also think daycare is good for kids they learn how to be away from mom and get along with others so it is possitive not that they don't pick up a few bad habits but that happens and you will charish the time you do have to spend with your kids since you will be at work all day good luck!!

Shea - I am preganant and single, so while in another situation I might be willing to give up my job, I will not be able to do that. I also might not want to. I have a friend who just had a baby and is staying at home. SHe loves spending time with her daughter, but misses interacting more with adults. I think that would be the hard part - the lack of intellectual stimulation. Of course, this a__sumes you have a job which you really enjoy, which it sounds like you do. Don't feel bad about wanting to keep at it! Just find a balance that works for you.

I'm newly pregnant and I would love to stay in my career. Unfortunately, I'm a horse breeder and its pretty darn dangerous on a pregnancy. I handle stallion, untrained foals, and worst of all hormones like Progesterone, Estradiol, serafin, oxytocin, and hCG everday. My job is seasonal so when the season ended, I started a research position. I so miss being outside and with the horses everyday. I'll have to miss next year, but I hope to return the following year.

My husband will be staying home - he's thrilled to quit his job, and truthfully we've always planned it this way, because I was the one that went to college, etc. But I have to say even still, I love what I do. I'm a CPA and I love my job. I hope to become a partner at this firm eventually. They are very flexible with hours, etc and not a lot of OT, so I am really looking forward to the best of both worlds. My mom was a stay at home mom and now since we are grown and she is divorced, she has nothing in her life.

I am 43, 10 weeks with my 4th. I have a 18,17 and 14 year old sons and am thrilled to be blessed with this new pregnancy ( unplanned) . I have a successful career and have been with the same company for 15 years. I never took more then 8 weeks off with each birth and returned to work and LOVE it ! My older boys have a respect for working women, working moms, and I really do not think they missed out by not having a stay at home mother. My career makes me happy and always gave me security. I wll continue to work after the birth of this baby too. If you can, when looking at day care options it was really nice having someone come to my home, It was far less disruptive for the babies and far less stressful on me. Good luck !

I am 35, pg with my first....I plan to return to work but I plan to keep a good balance. I have my own law practice which I love but I will arrange for part time child care. Good luck toy ou

I'm 35, expecting my first. I plan to go back to work but since I live in the UK and have been with my company for more than a year, I can take a glorious 12 months of maternity leave. (8 months at 90% of pay, 4months at a very small statuatory rate.) I think I will return to work and have scoped out nurseries in my neighborhood. Maybe I'll change my mind but I don't do well in isolation. I also don't feel comfortable relying on my husband for support - we don't even have a joint bank account!

I am 35, this is my first child. Financially I could stay home even if I wanted to. I have made it clear to my boss, I WILL be back after the baby is born. I am due in 6 months and am starting to look into daycare options. I plan to take 2 months off and then return. I am thrilled that is finally happening for me; but work has always helped define my personality (I get a lot of my positive energy from helping others) so I don't think I would be the same happy person if I stayed home and didn't work at all. Quality not quant_ty is my plan.

I wish I could just work part time! It is nice to have the financial choice to work p/t or not at all. This is our second, it is not easy to leave your child all day in the hands of someone else--as you career women know, 8 hours is really more like 12 when you count the commute, the extra time needed here and there . . . I was amazed at how my priorities changed. My family now comes first even though I still work full time and have a 'career'--What is very important is to have an understanding workplace, for those days that you may be running late, have to leave early, stay home with a very sick baby . . . attend a school play in the middle of the day. Not that it can't all be done, but it is tough.

I am 42 having my second and will return to work full-time. My DS has just turned 2. I am a partner in a large law firm - hours are long, but weekends are all mine and I am able to arrive at work late, so I have the mornings with DS. I do enjoy my job and we could not afford to live in the community we live in - with great schools and lots of neighborhood kids, without my salary. I do feel like it is too much at times, but most of the time I feel really lucky to be able to do both. Good luck

Hi everyone. I am almost 8 weeks pregnant. I work in New York City as an Executive a__sistant for a very large bank. I like my job and have no complaints. Although I think I would love to stay home, at least for the first few years. Unfortunately, I don't think that is even possible. I cannot imagine how we would make it work on one salary. But I don't think there is anything wrong with the desire to keep working. Men don't stop right? Go for it all, if you can manage it!

I'm 45 and for the last 20 years, my career has been my life. My husband (who I met through work, go figure) was pretty clear that he wanted kids, and I was just as clear that I didn't, largely due to the fear of having to give up my career. When a friend and collegue told me she was not only pregnant but accepting a sizable promotion last year, my att_tude began to shift. I'm ten weeks along, and finding that what matters most to me is changing-- a rather frightening concept, really. I'm at the top of my field, as is my husband, and while I absolutely love my work, it's slowly becoming less important to me that I be able to define myself through my role and t_tle. I intend to continue working through this pregnancy, although I've made it clear that I likely won't be back after the baby's born. That doesn't mean I'm giving it up, but over the years I've had many offers for different consulting gigs, many of which have proven to be a conflict of interest. Eighty and ninety hour weeks are, I'm aware, entirely impractical with an infant, but by shifting my role within the field, I think (hope!) I'll be able to balance both.

37, pregnant with second child. Cannot stay home even if I wanted to, as we need my income as a financial basis. I am also in college (senior, Finance major) and my career is just starting. Working is fine and we all need money to buy all the christmas gifts kids usually ask for!

you don't have to give up your career but try backing off from it , at least a little and if you financially can well then all the marrier to do so ...you won't regret it and besides providing day care can be expensive ... shoot for a happy medium if you don't want to give up yout career.