I CANT BELIEVE HER

87 Replies
julie 7 - January 2

ah, the folly of youth. when i was 20, i thought that 25 was ancient. 30 was nearly geriatric and my god, 40 was almost dead. and of course anyone having s_x at these older ages? eeek! im 36 and you know, we are all dumb a__ses to some degree when we are young. the glitch is that we *feel* modern, new generation *right* and think along linier lines that newer [meaning younger] is better, knows more, is up to date, is right..etc. noelle, maybe your mama is one of of those weirdo mental moms that ar out to outshine, out strip, out school their kids. there are women out there who compete with their kids that way, just as their are dads who get a fast car, a young girlfrind, a hair transplant as their sons go to frshman year in college. it can seem compet_tive, but just focus on your own deal and preg is no fun ride for most, in fact, with your mom being older it might be really hard for her. cut her a little slack and hope that yours goes smoothly because you are younger.

 

correction - January 11

Regarding the post by SA: In years past, women FREQUENTLY had children until well into their forties. It was simply a matter of Darwinian selection that enabled those women endowed with strong baby-making genes to continue being fertile and making children until they were into their mid 40s at least. My Gmother had my mother in 1936 at age 42 and after 5-6 self-induced abortions. Not to mention the fact that my mother's sibs were 18 years older than she. Here is the question to ponder for you: There is a REASON women don't undergo menopause until age 50 or so. Why is it so shocking that a woman of age 38 should be pregnant?? Why are people so d__ned convinced that 38 and older is so bloody old??? Oh....and Geena Davis had biological twins at age 47. Looks pretty good too if you ask me. Age and ageism is in our minds. We are all as strong and vibrant as we wish to be.

 

rose - January 11

So strange I just wanted to post the same argument - if Nature wanted a woman to stop producing at certain age - whether 25, 30 or 35 - it would make menopause at that age. Maybe the thought is in the air.

 

indobray - January 15

My husband's oldest daughter is 29 and has a 12 yo son & 9 yo daughter (my husband's grand kids) I am 36 and my husband and I have 15, 9, and 8 year old daughters and a 5 year old son. My husbands grandkids are older than two of his kids. The grandkids and my 3 youngest all go to the same school. They all love it! We're trying to have another baby, hopefully it'll happen soon.

 

RL - January 15

FFF

 

Appalled - January 23

Wow - I just had to respond even though this thread is old. Is that how 20 somethings see over 35 and pregnant as? My god, I have traveled the world, visited 47 countries, worked on my Masters, had a terrific career, and I exercise daily and ski almost daily. Now we are ready to bring our munchkins into the world (7w1d with twins - wish us luck we make it to the the end!). Good lord! I have so much to share with babies now, including education, experience, a BIG HOUSE with lost of $$$ to take care of my babies and 120% time and devotion to raising them!!. At 20, it was all about the party, lack of cash and living in hell holes while paying for college . What kind of life is that for a baby? If that little b___h was in the room with me, I would slap her so silly her head would fly off. I am beyond offended by that selfless little idiot who has the nerve to set women back 50 years with her idiotic self serving, spoiled comments. Grow up Noelle and try getting a job first before getting knocked and crying about it!!! I hope you are still reading this!! I hope you take your babies education, the cost, the investment in raising a child seriously!

 

Kelly S. - January 23

My daughter is 21 and has a one yr old and a two yr old. both times she said she wished we were pregnant at the same time. i was her labor coach both times and will be again. i had my tubes tied 8 yrs ago and really hope i get pregnant again. i'm 39. i had my daughter when i had just turned 18....then throughout my 20's, i had 3 more! my 'baby' is the only boy and turned 10 last year. if God blesses me with another one, i hope my daughter gets pregnant too (if it won't interfere with her job)!!!! imagine all the fun you can have together....shopping for bargains on baby stuff and going out to eat and just being together. i love my grandbabies with all my heart but i still have room for more of my own. my daughter is buying a home in the same town i live in and if i were to have a baby, 'he' could very easily go the the same school as his older neices.

 

Joyce - January 23

Looking on the bright side, your children will always have someone in the family about the same age. I am 38 myself and an trying to concieve, I don't know if it is the same for your mom, but maybe she has wanted another child for some time. I am hoping she got pregnant by choice and is doing it for the right reasons none of which is to steal your spotlight I hope. Joyce

 

coda - January 31

noelle i am 22 and sorry to say but if my mum at 48 gave birth at the same time as me i would be happy for her. birth is a mirical not something to be snubed at i had a mc 6 months ago and i am sad to say it but us young mums do not get fairly treated i am 7weeks and 6 days pregnant they wanted me to wait till i was 10 weeks to have a us (i had a d and c at 10 weeks last time) there reason being was because i am young enough to try again!!! its little girls like u that make us out to be silly and not responsable enough to have kids! i ended up having an early scan becuse i started bleeding and having cramps thankfully bub was ok i just had cycsts that had ruptured. i really hope that u grow up a little bit hun cos ur gonna be a mum and u will be a role modle i hope u dont teach ur children ur predudest views on the age women should be to have children this works both ways thou just because one young women acts like this does not mean we are all imature

 

Karen - January 31

I know this is an old post but I can totally understand Noelle's feelings (at least I can when I put myself in her shoes). I am 37 and having my second baby and have never been faced with the same situation but it would be a little weird to have my mom pregnanct at the same time I am. I think pregnant woman need to feel special -- that would not make me feel special. I think some of the terms Noelle used were young.. but she was also just expressing her feelings. Unless you can walk in her shoes, I don't think you have any right to judge her. Yes, .. she is very young... but there are younger kids having babies all the time. Also, I think there are probably some deeper issues a__sociated with Noelle's feelings than just being freaked out -- like mom having a whole new family. I have friends that have teenagers and then found out they were pregnant.. there kids weren't too happy about that either. ~ Noelle - I hope you change your feelings about your mother's pregnancy. It is a beautiful experience and I don't think she is trying to compete with you. If she is, that is sick. ~ Also, just an fyi to some of you... my mother went through menopause at 36! Nobody knows why.. but it does happen.

 

coda - January 31

karen u have a valid point but if u read noelle's first post u will see why the ladys acted the way they did to her. her first post is all about her not wanting her mom to be pregnant with her cos she will steel the spotlight this inacated to me a very immature person or a very self absorbed selfish person. i myself am 22 i have have sisters from my dads side and i never felt gelouse of them or the time they spend with my mum and dad. they get on really well with my mum and phone to speek to her alot i think she just needs to ajust to life and that sometimes its unfare

 

Karen - January 31

Coda - I did read her post. She has a right to her feelings. I have three sisters and they were all pregnant at the same time (all the babies were within 4 months of each other) and everyone of them felt a little envious that they weren't the only ones pregnant - and all my sisters were in their 30's with their babies) I think it is a normal human emotion to want to feel special when you are pregnant. It is a big deal in my family.. you get a lot of attention. I am not sure even I would want to share that... it is fun! On the same token, I don't think any of my sisters wanted anything bad to happen to anyone's preganancy... and it is great now because all the kids are really good friends. BUT none of those kids got sole attention from the other aunts / uncles / and grandparents when they were born because there were too many of them at once. ~ Also, I don't think any of us know her mom or can judge her feelings. She is young and there are things she said that are immature but I am not too sure I would be happy about that situation if I were in her shoes. But then again, my mom had me when she was in her early 30's and she probably couldn't have a baby now if she tried (thank goodness!! lol). ~ Anyway, I think Noelle has a right to her feelings and she was asking for advice -- not to be put down for her feelings! Just my $.02.. not wanting to start an issue.....

 

coda - January 31

again a valid point ppl react in different ways . i was just trying to explane how the ladys on here felt as most of them are over 35 and pregnant its an emotional time and for some one to say they are to old and should have gone threw menipose like ur mom so no she could not have kids is a bit destressing to hear for them i have lost a child and now pregnant agin which puts a hole different angle on things i am just thankful my baby seems healthy so far i also live on the other side of the world to my family so no spoiling for me . i really believe it something special between me and my partner anyway i have lots of nephews and neices and 2 of my freinds are pregnant at the same time as me and i think it wonderful

 

Karen E - February 1

This thread really hit home as I am expecting my third child and will be 43 next month. I am 6 weeks pregnant right now. I have a 17 year old daughter and I am so worried about telling her. I told her a few weeks back my period was late and I wasn't feeling well and she basically said if you are pregnant you can't possibly think of keeping it and you should get rid of it. I still haven't told her as I want to wait for my ultrasound tomorrow and make sure everything is okay as I have been spotting for 10 days. I am recently remarried so this will be my first with my husband. We were not planning this but I am very happy and feel blessed. I know it isn't going to go over well with my 17 year old. I can sympathize with Noelle just as I do my daughter. It's not easy for teenagers and kids in their 20's to see their mom's as s_xual people, with separate lives. They see us as "Mom" and I can totally see why Noelle would be upset. I am sure once the baby is born that both my daughter, and Noelle will quickly learn to love the new babies. I know it is a difficult situation for all. I am not looking forward to telling her tomorrow.

 

Karen - February 1

to Karen E: Good luck. telling your daughter.. it is a tough situation. I am glad you can understand her point of view and feelings. I think you probably have a good feeling about your daughter's initial reaction.. but overtime I am sure everything will be okay. I mean, how many people can't love an adorable new born!! ~ You are right though.. as a teenager and daughter in general, I don't think you see your parents as s_xual beings... LOL. I sure don't see my parents in that light (and don't even want to go there with my mind). ~ Oh, Congrats on your pregnancy!! I had spotting in my first trimester too. All is well and I pray the same for your baby! ~ Oh, Coda, I think it is really unnatural to go through menapause that early in life.. but my mom did and there is no family history or reason to why that happened. Thankfully she had all 5 of us by the time she was 31 or 32..?? can't remember how old exactly.. So my point was, it can happen and maybe Noelle was telling the truth. She is young.. we don't need to be hard on her.. she doesn't get the "old" thing. I remember thinking, "wow, 30 is SO old"in my 20's too. Of course now I think you need to be in your 70's or 80's to be old!! lol. :) Personally, I would love for one of my sisters to be pregnant with me. There kids are like a little gang.. very cute. Instead they are all in incredible shape, while I continue to grow and grow! :)

 

Karen E - February 1

Hi Karen - thanks for the kind words. When are you due? So you spotted too? Was it every day or just occasionally? I have spotted for 10 days now. It is only there when I wipe and is very diluted but I am so worried. I guess I will find out tomorrow. Everything else seems okay but spotting all the time doesn't seem okay.

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?