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Mandy, I had my first son at age 17. When I went in labor with him, almost 2 months late, I started having complications. He was not breech, but he was angled and turned in the wrong direction. The doctors tried several things to turn him, but nothing worked. He started getting stressed, so they decided to do an emergency c-section. At 17, I was petrified, and thought I had done something wrong. The c-section went well. I was awake through the whole thing. They had numbed my body through a spinal tap, so I couldn't feel or move from the chest down. I recovered fairly quickly. Years later I had my second son. This doctor insisted I have a natural birth. This baby was also almost 2 months late when they decided to induce labor. It took from Sunday evening to Tuesday afternoon to finally have him. He too came with complications. He was a large baby and got "stuck" in the birth ca___l. They called in extra nurses to physically push on me, and doctors to help try to bring him out. They pulled and twisted and used their hands as well as forceps to finally bring him out. It was a nightmare. He was born very sick and stressed from being late, and the trauma of the birth. My babies were late because for some reason my body doesn't dialate correctly and doesn't go into full term labor. My current doctor suggests it may be a chemical imbalance or something. SOOO, this brings me to the current pregnancy and the wonderful doctors I have now. We all agree that I should have a planned c-section due to my difficult history. This way, neither the baby or me will be in danger or distress. I will go in during the 39th week, hopefully before any signs of labor start, and the whole ordeal will be prepared for, instead of a spur of the moment thing. Had I had a c-section with the first BEFORE all of the struggling started, it would have been easier on everyone. Had my doctor not insisted on a natural birth with my second, he would have been born healthy and we'd not have had a 3 day hell to bring him into the world. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just one case, and my body has issues when it comes to labor and delivery. Most women have babies without much problem. Some even tell me there was little pain and that it went very quickly! Don't worry about giving birth, doctors these days really keep an eye on things and if they think your baby is too big, late, or not going to drop, they will take good care of you :) good luck.

Me...I think your experiences were a VERY rare exception. I've never heard of a doctor letting a pregnancy go an extra two months beyond the due date...especially twice! How long ago was that? With my first child, I was nearly a month overdue, but that was almost 25 years ago! Now I've heard that doctors (at least the ones in my area) don't let you go beyond two WEEKS past the due date. As for C-sections, I've never heard of a patient getting to "opt" for one over a v____al birth. With the exception of an emergency C-section, there's supposed to be good reasons (medically) for having one.

Me,thanks for your reply.I am also interested to know why the doctors allowed you to go 2mths over,you poor thing!I know you said the doctors these days take good care of you,but what scares me,is getting to the hospital too late to have an epidural,getting their early,being in pain,and getting fobbed off with a headache tablet saying to go home.Then things going wrong whilst in labour. To confused,yes,I would be allowed to have a c-section by request because I have a real phobia about childbirth.I have visited the doctor twice,then a therepist at the hospital back in may,it was then agreed that if this was the route then ok,it has taken me a very long time yrs,yrs and yrs,to even contemplate entering a pregnany.

mandy,ho are you coping? i have just found out I am pregnant,have read a lot about v____al births,would like to know more on this subject

Confused, yes I am a rare case. My body just doesn't function normally. At that time in my life I had to go through a small public health department for prenatal care. They use a lot of doctors and interns who just weren't very experienced, and rotated them every week. The doctors wouldn't listen to me, they a__sumed the dates were wrong, they a__sumed they knew my issues and body better than I did! With the 2nd baby, the last doctor I saw actually pierced my water and caused it to leak from Thursday to Sunday when someone at the hospital actually believed me, and finally admitted me. My baby was born terribly sick, and that doctor never was accountable, I never saw her again. These days, I have great insurance and great doctors. I'm not opting for a c-section for convenience, it is due to my health problems and high risk to the baby to to attempt v____al again. I've had one of each, and the c-section is the safest way to go with my broken body.

me,thanks for writing back.So you reckon that a cesarean is the best option,is that just for your situation,or if you did'nt have your problem and know the differences between both do you still think a cesarean would be best? From what I gather you either get the pain before the child is born,or you get trouble after the cesarean,how painful is contractions,I've read that they feel like period pains only a million times worse,like your bones are moving away....!!! Then there are the problems with a major operation,sometimes lasting yrs.

I am pregnant and wondeing whats the best way to go.Have been reading the v____al birthing way,and the cesarean,both seems painful,can either of you answer this original question from mandy,I too am interested in some answers

Mandy and Marcie, "opting" for cesarean birth is usually not an option unless there are medical reasons, such as in "Me's" case, or in an emergency when there are problems. Natural child birth is one of the most beautiful and memorable experiences a woman can have. You cannot tell or judge what birth will be like like for you by what anyone else says. It is different for everyone. Some women experience it quickly with very little pain at all. Those who do experience even the greatest amount of pain usually have meds to curb it, and what pain there is is gone when the baby is born. It's over. If someone has to have a cesarean, you have a long painful recovery and may find yourself fairly immobile for a while as well, not to mention having to carry a big scar for the rest of your life. It's not something to 'choose' to avoid 20 minutes of pain. It is an option reserved for the safety of the baby and mother when there are complications.

It is also much easier to regain your body shape after a v____al birth. A cesarean birth often leaves you with a "shelf" of fat and skin that cannot be exercized away. Please have your baby naturally as it was intended. If any problems arise, then I'm sure your doctor will do what is needed.

Mandy - My god, what were your doctors thinking letting you go 2 months without inducing!!!! They should have been sued for malpractice. You poor thing. I'm glad things are working out well for you now.

Marcie,I hope this is helping you and you are ok too.Choice,thank you for your advice.The reason the doctors have agreed to preform a c-section when they could be nothing wrong with me,is because I am terrified of giving birth,so much so that I have avoided pregnancy with a man I've been with for twenty years,he's always wanted children and has been a great support.I felt like as I was gettting older I must face my fear.I am scared of many things,the pain that is uncontrolling and not being able to get out of the situation,getting to the hospital too late for say an epidural,or struggling to deal with the pain and find out I'm only 1cm dilated or something.The thought of pushing and feeling whats called the "rim of fire"makes me go cold with fear.I know that once its out the pain is gone,I've many friends whose told me all this,but still I shy away from the prospect.The cesarean,the scar does'nt bother me in the least,or the extra skin,after all your body did a remarkable thing in making life.What does bother me about the cesarean is the possible complications,the infection,how bad is the pain with pain medication?What does labour feel like in the early stages?I appreciate your help. So does it seem Marcie whose already pregnant.Marcie is a cesarean an option to you then?

Dear Mandy, I have had four c-sections. The first was after 42 hrs. and nothing happened, so I ended up c/s. The three others I chose to have it. The recovery was fine. The second was easier than first, the third easier than second and so on. I am currently trying for #5 with new hubby, and will c/s again, of course. They do them so much that it is so common place now a days. You will be fine and you'll be able to do it again some day. Good luck.

Hi Mandy. I'm 37 and am pregnant with my first. One of the many reasons why I postponed getting pregnant was because I was petrified of childbirth like you. Anyone can offer advice on your pregnancy and childbirth, but the reality is that no one - including you - can control or predict how your body will react. Some people sail through their pregnancies and childbirth with few complaints or complications; others are not so fortunate and are put on bedrest due to bleeding or some other problem. One friend of mine just delivered a son via emergency c-section two weeks ago. Immediately after the emergency c-section, she was hospitalized for five days then released and is now suffering from infections as a result. By contrast, another friend of mine delivered her son in twenty minutes in her car with relatively little pain after she got stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital. The reality with any pregnancy or childbirth is that you just don't know whether you will have an easy or difficult time or a combination. You can have complications with v____al deliveries and c-sections. You just have to hope and pray for the best. I'm still nervous and apprehensive about v____al delivery and c-sections, which I think is normal. I wish there was another alternative or a way to know how your body will react, but sadly there isn't. Every person is different and every pregnancy and childbirth are different. That's the reality, though I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a relatively fast, painfree v____al delivery.

info,thank you for your comments,that are re-a__suring.Anon,thank you for yours,like me are scared,but you are pregnant and accept how things develop.I know what you are saying,and agree that all is different,the only thing guarenteed is pain!! I don't want to leave it too late and regret never having children,and as I said everything fits,I'm in a stable perfect relationship and have known him for twenty yrs,it really is a phobia that I have to overcome.If I do get pregnant then I think I will stay on this site as comments really are re-a__suring me.

Hi Mandy, I didn't want a cesarean, but had to have one with my first. I wanted to experience it all, but looking back now, I am glad that I did. There are more complications with C sections, but my baby was 10lbs 4oz, so it was the only solution.

Mandy, I have not had a c-section, but I think I can tell you a thing or two about pain. Some years ago I donated my left kidney to my first husband. Nowadays they can take the kidney out with a laproscope, but back then, the safest way to remove it was via a front to back incision with the addition of having a rib removed. According to my family, once the anesthetic wore off I was in excruciating pain. I was given a wonderful drug called morphine which became my best friend for the next week. The funny thing is, I look back now and do not remember my pain at all. It was something your body chooses not to remember . What I do remember is seeing color in my husbands face for the first time in a year. Seeing the love and relief in his family's face that he was going to live. The point I am trying to make is that the pain IS TEMPORARY. The beauty of giving your child life will be the thing you remember most about your delivery. As a result of cutting through the muscle tissue, the only way I physically can deliver is through a c section. A part of me feels as though my husband and I are losing out on part of a bonding experience----going through the hours of labor together. Well, I guess thats the other side of the coin. Good luck in whatever you decide. :)