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Mandy, I have not had a c-section, but I think I can tell you a thing or two about pain. Some years ago I donated my left kidney to my first husband. Nowadays they can take the kidney out with a laproscope, but back then, the safest way to remove it was via a front to back incision with the addition of having a rib removed. According to my family, once the anesthetic wore off I was in excruciating pain. I was given a wonderful drug called morphine which became my best friend for the next week. The funny thing is, I look back now and do not remember my pain at all. It was something your body chooses not to remember . What I do remember is seeing color in my husbands face for the first time in a year. Seeing the love and relief in his family's face that he was going to live. The point I am trying to make is that the pain IS TEMPORARY. The beauty of giving your child life will be the thing you remember most about your delivery. As a result of cutting through the muscle tissue, the only way I physically can deliver is through a c section. A part of me feels as though my husband and I are losing out on part of a bonding experience----going through the hours of labor together. Well, I guess thats the other side of the coin. Good luck in whatever you decide. :)

Thanks Kim for your comments,you say there were complications,are you ok now?How long did the pain last?Janet,yes I understand where you are coming from.You know,back in the late 60's my Grandmother had to have her kidney removed,they told her she'd be dead within the year if she did'nt,back then it was major surgery,she was ok.I think you are saying things beautifully,basically you'd do anything for the person you love without question.Going through a serious op,to give your husband a kidney.My brother had cancer a few yrs ago,he had two operations a brain one,and tescular,no choice,sadly he died.Birthing a child is rewarding whichever way it comes into the world,I am scared either way,the difference is your loved ones are here and you've bonded,a child in my case is'nt even here,so I just think of uncontrolable pain with childbirh,or longer,and possible complications with a section,but less intense pain?Janet,I fully understand what you are portraying,and indeed it is a wonderful thought,doing anything for people you love.

You said: "so I just think of uncontrolable pain with childbirth.." Pain is NOT uncontrolable. I think you might benefit from a little therapy. Most of this fear is stemming from your own thoughts convincing yourself that it would be unbearable and horrible. While your fears are real to you, its bordering on being irrational because you are fearing something that isn't even present. Unlike those afraid of bugs and heights who face them routinely and have a rational fear of them. The whole point is, with today's medical advances you can express your concerns and most likely have a pain free child birth with the help of pain medication through labor and delivery. Believe me, as one who has had both, the pain of natural childbirth without any medications is so fast and over with that you never even think twice about it once its over. With c-section, there is lingering pain and discomfort and even more complications can develope afterwards. Go with natural childbirth and pain meds and get it over with. And your comments: "the difference is your loved ones are here and you've bonded,a child in my case is'nt even here" Well, most women who are pregnant have bonded with and are deeply in love with their unborn child. And lastly: "a child in my case is'nt even here" Why are you tormenting yourself and making this worse when you aren't even pregnant? Get some therapy and learn to change your self-talk. Then maybe you can prepare for having children without stressing out at just the thought of it.

Hi here's the key.I have not had a bay,true,but I have researched,and spoken to many who are mothers.When you are in pain,and natural childbirth seems to be pretty high up there on the pain scale,you cannot control it,your body is doing itys natural thing.People have said, "have an epidural,you don't feel a thing".The majority of people are in bliss after having it,others have waited so long or got to the hospital too late to recieve one,or it does'nt completely take etc.These lists are doing a great deal to face my fears.Lastly,I realise women bond with there unborn child,the point I was making,was once the baby is there you'd do anything for it,because love is powerful emotion,its like having a disabled child,you'd naturally love it because its yours,yet if you don't know the person you don't have anything to love.

Mandy, I commend you for researching and educating yourself for pregnancy and childbirth because they are the best methods to reduce some of your fears and anxieties. I saw this link yesterday on pain relief during labor with various pros and cons for each medication: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/childbirth/164.html?scid=mbtw_preg29:20050815:0:0:0 If you do become pregnant, take heart that some of your anxieties and feelings about being pregnant and labor will most likely change during the course of your pregnancy, especially once you start feeling the baby moving inside you and the baby's kicks. I wish you the best of luck.

hi i was reading what the ladies wrote in the begining of this page. if you had previous c-sections you now have a choice to have another one. they the doctors said it was kind of dangerous to have a c-section and then a vbac delivery afterwards. they said due to the scaring of the tissues. when you are cut your cervix drops and it may be hard for the baby to come out. it depends. but i was asked if i wanted another c-section. and no i never heard of a baby being two months late. that is too dangerous and that alone may cause illness.

Hi Mandy, I had a c-sec w/ my first son. It was not bad at all....i actually labored for 13 hours but he was to big so they finally did a c-sec. I was initially scared when they were taking me to the operating room, but dh was right beside me, i did throw up the entire time because my epidural had worn off and the pumped me full of medicine again to numb me for the c-sec and it made me very sick, but then they pulled big-un out (8 lbs 9oz) and any thought about myself went out the window, all i wanted was him...they did staples and st_tches, and honestly i was sore for a couple of days, took pain med one day and then went straight to tylenol, plus w/ a c-sec they clean you all out so i did not have the weeks and weeks of bleeding as w/ a normal v____al delivery, but on the flip side it takes longer to get that flat stomach back which you never really do, seem like everyone gets this c-section flap of skin. Well i'm having another boy in January and will have another c-sec, due to past history and age, i'll be 39, and i have big babies and i'm small boned even though i'm 5'8", there was no was my first son was going to come out of you know where.....we use to joke "look at that head, thank god for c-sections". Anyway, i'm not scared at all, was more scared about the amnio i had last week but that was nothing either....it's normal to get all worked up about everything when you're pregnant, we just want everything to come out well..Please believe me, and everyone says this,,,you will forget about any and all pain when you hold your baby...Good luck to you...

hi D,thanks for the imput.I have been reading all the books,watching midwives on telly,its such a lifechanging event for life.I have been swayed between natural birth and c-section for ages.It seems if a mothers had a positive experience then thats the way to go,whereas they will sway if there is a bad experience,and thats happened on both sides.I still fear the prospect on being in pain for however long it takes to push out the baby,I know its natural and all that,but if you really have an emotional problem,and a c-section,although still scary is more relaxing then for me I think thats they way to go.To get to the point,D,you say you are having a baby in january,how is the pregnancy going?

mandy, all is going well, i'm half way...yea !!! Starting to get alot of fetal movement, which is a really neat feeling, that's what I missed most after the birth of my first son. Whether or not you have a child is your own decision, i have a couple of friends who elected not to have children, it's a personal choice....good luck to you....and i promise, if you ever have a baby you will totally forget all about the pain the minute your child comes out.....take care

Mandy, I'm just like you. I'm 39. The though of parturition has scared me into delaying pregnancy until now. When we decided to conceive I told my husband and RE that I would have to have a cesarean. My RE said that its not commonly an option but if I felt my anxiety could cause unnecessary fetal distress, then it would certainly be an option.

D,I am glad the pregnancy is going well,I bet its strange feeling the baby move.I am sure when the baby is out you are overcome with love,and feel so proud,I realise that.Lena,it is nice to know that I am not alone,I know its natural for women to be scared of giving birth,but you sound like me,in the fact you have delayed your pregnancy because of it,this takes fear to a new dimension,and is a phobia.You said when you decided to concieve,are you pregnant,and if so,do you think you'll have a c-section?I know women have been having them since forever,this is what mothers tell me,and there's more relief available today etc,or its a short pain for a lifetime of love,or you'll never regret it,I know all that,but it does'nt alter the huge feeling of fear,from being pregnant,knowing there's no way out,etc.I also feel ready for a child.

Yes, I'm 9.5 wks pg right now and my Dr has agreed to it. I have a bad back having fractured 3 vertebrae 17 years ago. The pain and resulting complications is one reason for my anxiety. I think my back problems was more of a deciding factor for my dr to agree to the c-section, though for me anxiety was the main reason.

Oops that last message was TO Mandy from Me.

hey mandy,so you reckon when you get pregnant you will op for a c-section? My pregnancy is coming on ok,the sickness is a real drag,how people get about by transport I don't know,trains,plans etc.I have been trying to say to my midwife I want the option of a c-section,but she's reluctant,all this about being major surgery,even though it is so commen these days.As I get bigger I get more concerned about pushing it out,even with drugs and things.What are you doing,making your husband happy yet! :0)

What all of you are forgeting is that if childbirth were so terrible you would never see a woman with 2 children. I have 2 kids (18+14) and am trying with my new hubby for a third (miscarried this summer). I had my first v____ally and the first with a couple of shots for pain and the second v____ally with nitrous oxide only as I only made it to the hospital with 20 mins to spare after a 4 hour labour. Childbirth hurts. But not to the point where you are screaming in pain (unless you are a drama queen lol). But what makes it different (and completely bearable) from every other pain that can be inflicted on you, is that you know it has an end, the end is soon, and when the pain does end you have a tiny little human in your arms. 30 mins after having my daughter I got out of bed and my hubby and I danced around the room. Do not be frightened. You will always hear horror stories but take them with a grain of salt. And remember always that if it were that terrible you would never see a woman with more than one child, nevermind 3 or 4 or 7!

hey marcie,hope the midwife allows you this option if thats how you feel.As for keeping my husband happy...twice,poor bloke does'nt know what I want,I've then been so scared afterwards.To maidencanada,I realise what you are saying,but I know that a love for a child must be incredible,and mothers tend to forget their pain,which is natural,thats why you see more than one child.Women say if it were men they'd only have one,but the same feeling applies,I have read womens horror stories,to me its logic that although you are designed to naturally have babies,and you get supple and stretch,its obvious that its going to hurt,a hell of a lot.Many people have operations nowadays,yes they are sore and ache,but it seems more appealing to me