Gender Disapointment

10 Replies
babyb - June 25

Hi. I just had my ultrasound today and was so praying for a little girl. When she told me it was a boy oh my god i felt like i wanted to cry!!! Now i am going to be a mother of two boys and i hate to say it but i am so angry!! I wanted a girl so much. My mother and i have a great relationship and she does everythign with me, i wanted that with my daughter. Also i am a single parent now which means i ahve to do everything on my own so i thoguht that having a girl woul dmake things easier when it comes to not having a daddy as the father son connection is so much stronger then a mother son relationship. Its going to be so tough and i hope i can accept this pregnancy after this large disapointment. After th eultrasound i actually hitmy steering wheel with anger. I hate to react that way but i can't help how i feel. Does anyone else ahve this experience?

 

munchmom04 - June 25

babyb~~ its ok, you never know they might have been wrong. I have heard of it before. I understand you wanting a girl, but as long as your baby is healty then all should be well right. I know that that is not what you wanted to hear, but my relationship with my son is so much fun. I mean little boys cling to mommy more than daddy. You will be able to accept this little angel once you get a chance to hold him and look into his little eyes. Good luck to you and love that little baby

 

babyb - June 26

I am having a really hard time with it but i know there is nothing i can do. I just yearned so much to have that mother daughter bond like i have with my mom. I also see all the mother daughters out there in the world on a daily basis and i am in such envy. My neighbour is having al ittle girl and oh my god i am so jelous, now she has one boy and will be having oen girl. God! why? I am sngle and now i feel with having another boy that i am so alone! i know that might seem stupid to most of you but i so certianly feel alone with knowing its a boy. Anyway thanks.

 

littlekmom - June 29

One of my friends (who didn't find out the gender ahead of time) said that she cried when her daughter was born--she wanted another son. I think it's normal to be upset. Once you meet your son, though, you'll love him, and you won't be able to imagine life as being different.

 

MNMOM - June 29

babyb-check out the "general pregnancy" forum, there is a thread on this same topic where I have posted some comments and others have as well - you are not alone in how you feel!

 

MyLifeNotYours - June 29

I don't know what I'm having yet, but I'm hoping for a little boy. I already have 2 daughters.

 

MNMOM - June 30

My first child was a boy and my second was another boy and I was devastated. I am pregnant for the third time and my att_tude has really changed, I am not hoping for either one, I would be happy with another boy and shocked if I get girl. Thankfully I am at peace this time.

 

soon2Bmomof5 - July 2

Babyb OMG I know exactly how you are felling! I just found out on Saturday that I am having my 4th girl! When the woman told me I burst into tears right there! She said to me "I dont know y u cry" I wanted to slap her! I said because this is my fourth girl and I was convinced that this time I was having a boy! When she told me, I still had 20min of the u/s left and I did not want to lay there anymore. Finally when we got out of there my husband and I just cried and we aimlessly drove around Vancouver for an hour not talking, not doing anything but driving in circles! I caqn't even look thro the baby name book anymore. I had a boys name picked out already! When I go shopping I stop in the boy section and look at all the cute baby boy clothes...my husbands good friend just had a boy the other day and I can't even bring myself to say congrats or go and visit...What is wrong with me?! I am in complete denial, I keep thinking that she was wrong and that the baby will come out a boy...but I saw the 3 white lines indicating girl for myself! UGH!!! I cried for 2 straight days and the first night I had the same dream over, and over, and over again. That annoying woman telling my there are the 3 white lines, its a girl...i see it again I am almost positive girl for you...OVER AND OVER! When we came home and told the kids they were having another sister they said really? And then went about there business, then one turned to me and said well maybe next year the next one will b a boy! OMG! I am so hoping that I can get over this quickly as I dont want to spend 19 more weeks crying over it!

 

babyb - July 2

U poor thing! I am so sorry. It's got to be even worse for you. The only thing that i can think of now is that there must be some sort of reason behind me having another boy. And also i picked out a great name for him now too. I also hate the thoguht of looking at boy clothes but i have to accept what it is and am trying my best becuase i do not want to cry for the next few months or beyond. I do not want to hate this child! It's not his fault, right? I wish you good luck. Maybe in a few years when your ready again that you should adopt. There are alot of boys out there that need a mommy and daddy to love them.

 

MyLifeNotYours - July 3

Soon2b I think you are being to hard on your self. I think you rather have a healthly baby girl then a sick baby boy that you would have to care for the rest of your life. I don't know what I'm having yet,but I want a boy, but if it's another girl I would be fine with it. I rather have a healthly girl then disable boy (no offense to anyone dealing with a disable child. I love all kinds of children by the way, but I'm trying to make a point here)... I don't want to have 10 kids waiting for a boy so this is the end for me, and plus it's not easy having to work full time my husband with 2 jobs now gonna have to care for 3 kids. Good luck to all... Let's be happy with what we all get.

 

Sprinkles - July 24

I understand how you feel - I have 2 girls and I always kind of secretly wanted a boy ( I haven't found out this time which it is yet though preg with #3) but I think alot of it is hormones right now too - It makes everything seem so much more traumatic then it really is - I will tell you this and hope it helps - I am a single mom myself I have 2 girls now and I am hoping for a boy last time around I was wanting a boy but then thought 'o man but how will I teach him to be a man he will have NO male influence in his life' so that freaked me out - and made having a girl a lil sweeter. But this time I am back to wanting a boy because I think as a single mother I can raise him to be a better man then the men I have encountered in my life - and I look at mother son relationships ESPECIALLY single mother and son relationships and see just HOW protective those boys grow up to be of their mothers and I think that would be awesome to have .. I feel like if I was blessed to have a boy he would be the ONLY man in my life to ever love me unconditional.. I didn't have a great relationship with my dad .. and every man I have ever dated has really never loved me - and I would like to have one Male in my life who doesn't want anything from me but love and care .. and who isn't after some hidden agenda or who doesn't have conditions on his love for me - ANY relationship between a mother and child is always a great one .. mother daughter or mother son - I think though Boys tend to be more protective and endearing to their mothers as they grow older - it is of course all in how you raise them but that is my take on it. My grandmother had 5 daughters and 1 son (my dad) and all the girls moved away and lived their lives my dad was the only one to stay and care for her (she was single) until the day she died. I hope that gives you some positive thoughts on having 2 boys ... I am just trying to put a positive spin on it for you. Don't feel bad for being upset that is normal we all have ideals or hopes and it is normal.. but try and fnd something positive and focus on that instead of putting yourself through so much emotionally. Good luck to you!!

 

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